So This Manti Te’o Business…

January 17th, 2013 // 35 Comments
Manti Te'o Notre Dame

“Not now, ghost girlfriend!”

So if you haven’t heard about Manti Te’o‘s fake, dead girlfriend by now, or just generally have a lot of time to kill at work, you’re going to want to definitely click on the Deadspin link below because JESUS CATFISH CHRIST. All I’ll say is if this thing doesn’t end with J. Walter Weatherman taking off his prosthetic arm and yelling, “This is why you always come out to your parents and don’t pretend to have a dead Internet girlfriend,” I’m going to hate this story so hard.

Manti Te’o's Dead Girlfriend, The Most Heartbreaking And Inspirational Story Of The College Football Season, Is A Hoax – Deadspin 1.16.13

Adding… Goddammit, Denard Span.

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. grobpilot

    He’ll keep lying until he believes it himself

  2. Cock Dr

    So much for being on the down low.
    Hiding sexuality because of family/oppressive Mormon upbringing = sad
    Scheming and perpetrating a hoax to raise media exposure and boost sports career = internet version of tarring and feathering

  3. DeucePickle

    Ghost pussy is the worst

  4. Why is every article about this thing like 9 pages long? I’ll sum it up in one sentence: “Dude pretended to have a girlfriend and got caught.”

    • JC

      I was wondering the same thing. I’m all for long-form journalism, but maybe only for subjects that actually merit the extra discussion, not some dude who basically pulled the classic “I’m not a virgin! I totally had sex with a girl from camp! She’s from out of state, though, so you’ll never meet her.”

      • Juch

        The story has a lot of what wimpy, self-impressed journalists hate – jocks and religiosity. You think they are going to pass up the chance to take at both?

    • fridayhype

      basically!

  5. Arlene

    What I get a kick out of is how this dummy is still lying and people ACTUALLY BELIEVE HIM. Plus the fact that he stated he MET HER on several occassions before this whole hoax got blown out of the water. Why in the hell would a “hetero” football stud, that can have the pick of any of the snatch on the Notre Dame campus carry on an internet relationship with a girl he never met, and, according to him, stood him up several times when he went all the way to Hawaii to meet her. He might not be gay, but a lot of people are sure going to think that now!

    • Domer-lady

      I was a snatch on the Notre Dame campus. Trust me when I say – we weren’t exactly the best picks for a national football hero. None of us looked like Miss Alabama.

  6. Francine Burns

    Dear Superficial Mister,

    Hello cutie I am hot hetero liberal-left girl who loves gay marriage and hates conservatives! I have pictures of me when I was pregnant if you want to see them. And, I’m in no way imaginary.

    Cogitatis ergo sum,
    Francine

  7. mike

    if he’s not gay someone should have set him up with anne hathaway, they seem to have similar judgment.

  8. The fact that you threw in an Arrested Development reference is brilliant.

    :: slow clap ::

  9. Can you imagine the poor trick who saw her pictures on national TV with RIPs scrolling over it?? Thank gawd this is America and the poor thing’ll get a lawsuit, an Oprah interview, and a book deal. Whew.

  10. Wo-Manti

    Unfortunately for him they also have tweets between himself and guy who was the perpetrator of this cruel hoax. Apparently they communicated with each other on a man to man basis as well and attended a USC game together( per their tweets). So his only option now is to say that his friend (another football player) somehow duped him and he didn’t know the whole time. How he didn’t recognize his buddy’s voice during their marathon phone calls is anybody’s guess. It’s either that or he is gay. If he wanted to hide it he should of just said he was a virgin and gone the Tebow route.

  11. tokiromi

    so let me preface this by saying i’ve been a manti te’o fangirl since….well, ever. he overlooked usc to play for my irish. and that’s awesome.

    having followed manti’s career at nd since the beginning, there’s nothing i can see about him that would point to him being the sort of person that would perpetrate something like this simply for media attention…or heisman votes or whatever. he comes across as being way too genuine. hard-to-fake genuine. but i believe he could have been duped into the whole thing…and as the media frenzy grew and forced him into this spotlight, under all this pressure, i think he could have lied to save himself the embarrassment of admitting he was serious about an online relationship.

    add to that reagan mauia (nfl player) said today he’s actually met and talked to the supposedly fake girlfriend prior to her supposedly meeting manti….and i just don’t know. it will shock me if manti was in on it.

    • Colin

      Well thank god we have an expert. “HE DIDN’T DO IT EVERYBODY! THIS GIRL WATCHED HIM ON TV SO THERE’S NO WAY!”

      • tokiromi

        that’s not exactly what i’m saying.
        what i’m saying is that i find it hard to believe he’d initiate and perpetuate something like this, unless he’s been planning to run the scam since his freshman year. when someone is a scammer or a con artist, there are usually clues, either in their behaviors and mannerisms or the things they’ve done in the past. i don’t think he woke up one morning and went, “gee, you know what would be awesome? making up a girlfriend.”

        his actions at notre dame and his life before that, according to people in his hometown, suggest he’s not the type to go to such lengths for media attention. but i’m not ruling it out completely…just saying it would be a shock if it were so.

      • Colin

        But would he go that far to fit in? To cover up a gay relationship? Or even to cover up a separate heterosexual relationship because it would cause a problem with his faith? Mormons have disowned people for a lot less.

  12. I think it’s great. He played the media for the fools that they are.

    If you’re the type who’s upset by this revelation and wants to blame somebody, blame broads who watch football and the media who cater to them by promoting all those human interest stories during the pre-game shows.

    • Broads? How did you post this from 1945?

    • I was all set to personally kick the shit out of Paul Harvey for catering to all those “broads”, since he totes skewed his broadcast towards the ladies *eyeroll*, but then I found that he tragically died a year after his wife of 60 years also tragically died from…oh, yeah…leukemia.
      Amazingly enough, they actually managed to met at least once before their deaths.

  13. Colin

    To be fair, he might not be gay; he might just being trying to fit in which is impossible because he’s a Mormon and therefore not allowed to have fun.

  14. JohnnyHildo

    Come onnn….he’s a CELEBRITY….geeezee you guys, he’s sorry and, well….geeezeeee…he didn’t know because, he’s ya know, a CELEBRITY and all…and he’s reallly super sorry he let bad people round him do this to him…because, ya know…CELEBRITIES don’t have time to read and stuff and be responsible for their own lives and junk.

    When’s the draft? Will be dead (by car crash or leukimia) press by then.

  15. Zeus

    You win the interwebs for the J. Weatherman namedrop

  16. Sardonic

    Teeing up Oprah’s next big interview….

  17. “Einhorn is Finkle? Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man!”

  18. Hugh Evers

    The other team just got a helluva linebacker who is a monster against the run and has above average cover skills.

  19. Charlie

    If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son Manti Teo has 99 problems but a girl ain’t one!

  20. This is exactly why every time some chick tells me she has leukemia I scream in her face ‘FUCK YOU, YOU LYING WHORE!!!’. Keeps me out of trouble.

  21. How sad and pathetic do you have to be to actually make up a girlfriend? Bitch move, Manti.

  22. fur burger

    Still more real than Kim Kardashian’s marriage

Leave A Comment