Mama June Won’t Make A Sex Tape, We’re Saved!

Choc-oh-late? Butter? Sgetti? Baby Ruth?

Yesterday, we learned that Mama June was offered $1 million to make a sex tape because Steve Hirsch is the goddamn devil and now is the hour of his unholy reckoning. Except Mama June is a good, Christian woman and has declined his request, so if anyone needs me, I’ll be in church. #GODISNOTDEAD TMZ reports:

The “Honey Boo Boo” matriarch says she would never ever consider Vivid Entertainment’s offer for June and Sugar Bear to do the dirty and possibly make north of $1 million.
June says, “I have more respect for myself and my kids and my family,” adding, “It ain’t happening, not even for a zillion dollars.”

Just so everyone’s clear, Mama June doesn’t have enough respect for herself and her family to not date the man who raped her daughter and let him sleep in the bed as her other daughter who’s now the same age, but she does have enough to never let anyone see her naked and having sex. — You know what? I’m going to allow it. For the first time in this situation there’s a line, and somehow this woman took great pains not to cross it. It’s a line between “Jesus Christ, NO!” and “Holy Fucking Hell, WHY?!” but the important thing is that it’s there. Sometimes you have to let people surprise you.

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Photo: Warner Bros.