Madonna has two tickets to the gun show

April 1st, 2008 // 76 Comments

If you’re like me, you lie awake at night wondering if Madonna’s arms are still continuing their trek to becoming emaciated pythons of doom. Look no further, friend. To be honest, I’m glad she’s on our side. If danger ever sets foot in America, I know Madonna will unleash her Kaballah uppercut and send those terrorist bastards into orbit. Provided we always have dinner on the table and don’t ask where she goes at night. (Hint: Underground arm wrestling competitions – with cyborgs.)

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Comments (76)

  1. Randal | April 1, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Even to this day, Madonna still looks great, taking good care of herself and it certainly shows. Her arms are in better condition than some half her age. It’s no wonder she can put on such a great concert and never look exhausted.

    Great work Madonna!

    Randal

    Reply
  2. Ossot | April 1, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    wtf.. her and gwen stefani shoudl box.

    Reply
  3. dude | April 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    You do NOT want a handjob from Madonna.

    She could turn a rooster into a hen with one yank.

    Then again, she hates yanks. What a skank.

    (CUE GAY MEN to unleash venom for attacking this used up freak)

    Reply
  4. FRIST!!! | April 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    God, she makes me afraid to start working out..

    Reply
  5. lester | April 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    This is what happens after having sex with hundreds of underage spics you pick up on the lower east side.

    Reply
  6. RandalEatsPoo | April 1, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    You must be joking….

    She looks disgusting…. I feel bad for anyone who has to sleep with her….

    Seriously…. Dude looks like a lady….

    Reply
  7. Randal | April 1, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Dammit! We’re queer, we’re here and we won’t disappear!

    Reply
  8. FRIST!!! | April 1, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    Randal, what is your address, I want to give you a Hershey bar..

    So. How much testosterone do you think she is consuming, anyway?

    Reply
  9. AbsolutNico | April 1, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I agree, she looks fab for 49, she can develop awesome live shows and no one is young 4ever, i hope to get my arms that tight at 50′s.

    Reply
  10. Mike K | April 1, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    She has a dick. And she’s starting to look like Carrot top

    Reply
  11. Do_Freebird | April 1, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    What a babe! There’s not an ounce of fat (or femininity for that matter) left in that body. She’s a real looker now too.

    Excuse me, I need to get a spoon. My testicles pulled themselves into my lower abdomen and I have to coax the fellas back out.

    Reply
  12. Randal | April 1, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    We are so on the same page AbsolutNico, nice to meet you.

    It’s very important we continue to look and feel our best and there’s no fault if Madonna is one of those who continue to do it. Being healthy in our older years will have huge health benefits as we reach 60 and 70.

    The earlier one starts to take care of themselves, excersise, eating healthy, the easier it will be to continue such a life style trend for the rest of ones life.

    Randal

    Reply
  13. Auntie Kryst | April 1, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    This Detroit wop is the toughest man in all of London!!

    Reply
  14. PunkA | April 1, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    What the??? What is this, geriatric week FISH? Dina Lohan, Janice Dickinson and now Madonna? Geeze, is it back to 1980 or what? Give us some hawt chicks we care about, and not those that appear to be aging worse than the crypt keeper. I mean, if you are going old, give me some Jane Seymour, Michelle Pfeiffer or Cheryl Ladd.

    Reply
  15. mafme | April 1, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    She should have played the new Sarah Connor. She’d be way more believable.

    Reply
  16. eastcoastgirl | April 1, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Her arms are gross. She probably pumps iron seven times a day. Can you say OCD?

    Reply
  17. Trover | April 1, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    I think this photo of Madonna is he exact reason why HGH should be legal. Her guns at 50 make most 20 year old dudes tremble.

    Reply
  18. obligatory chick comment | April 1, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    I think she looks great! How many of you will look that good, AT HER AGE?

    Reply
  19. JPL lab tech | April 1, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    #17 I think Randall just hit 4.3 on the Richter Scale.

    Reply
  20. Biff | April 1, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    She’s so insecure, even after all her success. Look at the little monkey she made sure to bring along as her wingman (wingwoman? wingthing?).

    Reply
  21. Ted from LA | April 1, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    I think she’d make a great Russian gymnast. Madonna in 2116.

    Reply
  22. Jammy | April 1, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    mmmmmmmm………………….Jerky!

    Reply
  23. Fit & Petite | April 1, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    When I first started going to the gym and working out with light weights twice a week, my husband asked me not to get ugly manly bicep muscles like Madonna. I have nice cuts in my arms but not huge biceps like Madonna.

    Reply
  24. Jimbo | April 1, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    She could fist a guy (ritchie?) deeper, faster, and longer than he ever imagined was possible. So I hear – not that I’m into that sort of thing.

    Jesus, I’m so fuckin hard right now.

    Reply
  25. Guy | April 1, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    This must be a photo of makeing the trip from her town house converted gym to her house one house next from it. I heard she tried to buy the house that links hers and the converted gym one, but the person wouldn’t budge. The reason why she wanted to buy the linking house is so she could avoid anyone seeing her in this state.

    Reply
  26. nerdkiller | April 1, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    “The material girl reinvents her self again, this time by cutting off her gross arms”. I hope thats the title for the next Madonna related post.

    Reply
  27. rottenhole | April 1, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    Thats not madonna, its Iggy Pop!

    Reply
  28. Jose Canseco | April 1, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    This is not a compliment. Her arms are concentration camp skinny yet musclar kind of an oxymoron. i imagine she is on steroids and starving herself …best guess.

    Reply
  29. gitch | April 1, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    The ugly girl next to her is dying because Madonna’s prattling on about “yes, well that was before I became an international supastah, and becoming an international supastah changes everything, I mean EVERYTHING, any time you go anywhere a crowd forms just to get a look at you, and…” *bang*

    Reply
  30. Randal | April 1, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Mr. Rogers is my hero and I hang out at Burt and Ernie.
    Everyone here lusts out for Big Bird.

    Reply
  31. shanipie | April 1, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    LOL

    someone should tell Madonna that once you start looking that masculine, its time to take a break.

    Thats the opposite of sexy, except I guess if your a very confused girl…

    Reply
  32. Gerald_Tarrant | April 1, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Those arms don’t look good. They look like old woman arms. She’s not buff, she is literally just skin and bones now. Her and Marc Anthony should hook up and retire to Ethiopia, where even the Ethiopians would think they look like Skeletor’s head and Skeletor’s body.

    Reply
  33. Madonna nude | April 1, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    I’ve linked a picture that clearly dispels the rumors that she’s been using steroids (it’s from her “Sex” book).

    Reply
  34. Lowlands | April 1, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    Holy crap!I’m having the same Adidas pants!

    Reply
  35. Groucho | April 1, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    Wow, nice to see Iggy Pop with a shirt on, finally!

    Reply
  36. evinrude | April 1, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    #31 Or Randal.

    Reply
  37. Kayleen | April 1, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    She looks like Willem Dafoe in The Boondock Saints.
    haha.

    Reply
  38. Lowlands | April 1, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    After an intensive workout the muscles are always a bit pumped up and the veins are swollen.This is a very normal body reaction what we see here.Still,i don’t think she can beat me with armwrestling.She needs to workout more for that.

    Reply
  39. Captain-Insano | April 1, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    Madonna is not on our side. Doesn’t she live in the UK. Remember, the fake accent and the all-high-and-mightyness and all that shit?

    Reply
  40. SmokingGirl | April 1, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    Those arms are mantastic…Madonna is a man now, right?

    Oh, she is not now a he? Wow, her arms put some 20something males to shame. Guy Ritchie must have some lantent homosexuality if he wants to sleep with that willingly…

    Reply
  41. Clem | April 1, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Good afternoon Mr Ciccone!

    Reply
  42. Italian Stallion | April 1, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Her vagina hangs like sleeve of wizard………..

    Reply
  43. Madonna | April 1, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Excuse me, I do not appreciate you making fun of my drastically manly arms. I have worked very hard to achieve cavernous looking dents in my inner arm to hide African babies on my trips to Niger so I don’t have to go through all of that process stuff when stealing children. My outfit is made from the skin of a Nigerian baby. Nigerian baby placenta body wash also keeps my skin looking fresh and young. Mmmmmmm ooooooo, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm ooooo…you are…the key. Mmmmm ooooo, if i could free base a Nigerian baby’s heart. Mmmmm oooooo, my body would never fall apart.

    Reply
  44. Auntie Kryst | April 1, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    @40 Guy does..He’s an englishman.

    Reply
  45. Get Into The Groove (the creepy one between her bicep and humerus) | April 1, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    ‘Two tickets to the gun show’, all right – two tickets to the pasty, detached, flaccid and disturbing gun show.

    Reply
  46. Boris geiss | April 1, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Those home bicep implant kits really aren’t recommended for seniors.

    Reply
  47. Patrick | April 1, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Ewwww… Those are the nastiest, over worked and under fed grandma arms I’ve ever seen. She needs to take it easy on the dumbbells and eat more sandwiches.

    Reply
  48. diamonds | April 1, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    lol @23 I get the same comments from guys when I tell them that I lift free weights and work out a lot. Men don’t like their women to look masculine and hard, they want thin and feminine.

    Reply
  49. mrs.t | April 1, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    #35-good lookin out.

    And I’m all confused now….I was reading about the “pregnant man”, who is actually a transgendered woman….then I see these pics of Madge and feel the need to call bullshit on this other dude’s claim of ‘first’ on male-pregnancy.

    Reply
  50. CinnaRose | April 1, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    Did anyone else notice a striking resemblance to Iggy Pop? I’m calling for a DNA test…

    Reply

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