Madonna has two tickets to the gun show

April 1st, 2008 // 76 Comments

If you’re like me, you lie awake at night wondering if Madonna’s arms are still continuing their trek to becoming emaciated pythons of doom. Look no further, friend. To be honest, I’m glad she’s on our side. If danger ever sets foot in America, I know Madonna will unleash her Kaballah uppercut and send those terrorist bastards into orbit. Provided we always have dinner on the table and don’t ask where she goes at night. (Hint: Underground arm wrestling competitions – with cyborgs.)

Photos: Splash News

  1. Randal

    Even to this day, Madonna still looks great, taking good care of herself and it certainly shows. Her arms are in better condition than some half her age. It’s no wonder she can put on such a great concert and never look exhausted.

    Great work Madonna!


  2. Ossot

    wtf.. her and gwen stefani shoudl box.

  3. dude

    You do NOT want a handjob from Madonna.

    She could turn a rooster into a hen with one yank.

    Then again, she hates yanks. What a skank.

    (CUE GAY MEN to unleash venom for attacking this used up freak)

  4. God, she makes me afraid to start working out..

  5. This is what happens after having sex with hundreds of underage spics you pick up on the lower east side.

  6. RandalEatsPoo

    You must be joking….

    She looks disgusting…. I feel bad for anyone who has to sleep with her….

    Seriously…. Dude looks like a lady….

  7. Randal

    Dammit! We’re queer, we’re here and we won’t disappear!

  8. Randal, what is your address, I want to give you a Hershey bar..

    So. How much testosterone do you think she is consuming, anyway?

  9. AbsolutNico

    I agree, she looks fab for 49, she can develop awesome live shows and no one is young 4ever, i hope to get my arms that tight at 50′s.

  10. She has a dick. And she’s starting to look like Carrot top

  11. Do_Freebird

    What a babe! There’s not an ounce of fat (or femininity for that matter) left in that body. She’s a real looker now too.

    Excuse me, I need to get a spoon. My testicles pulled themselves into my lower abdomen and I have to coax the fellas back out.

  12. Randal

    We are so on the same page AbsolutNico, nice to meet you.

    It’s very important we continue to look and feel our best and there’s no fault if Madonna is one of those who continue to do it. Being healthy in our older years will have huge health benefits as we reach 60 and 70.

    The earlier one starts to take care of themselves, excersise, eating healthy, the easier it will be to continue such a life style trend for the rest of ones life.


  13. Auntie Kryst

    This Detroit wop is the toughest man in all of London!!

  14. PunkA

    What the??? What is this, geriatric week FISH? Dina Lohan, Janice Dickinson and now Madonna? Geeze, is it back to 1980 or what? Give us some hawt chicks we care about, and not those that appear to be aging worse than the crypt keeper. I mean, if you are going old, give me some Jane Seymour, Michelle Pfeiffer or Cheryl Ladd.

  15. mafme

    She should have played the new Sarah Connor. She’d be way more believable.

  16. eastcoastgirl

    Her arms are gross. She probably pumps iron seven times a day. Can you say OCD?

  17. Trover

    I think this photo of Madonna is he exact reason why HGH should be legal. Her guns at 50 make most 20 year old dudes tremble.

  18. obligatory chick comment

    I think she looks great! How many of you will look that good, AT HER AGE?

  19. JPL lab tech

    #17 I think Randall just hit 4.3 on the Richter Scale.

  20. Biff

    She’s so insecure, even after all her success. Look at the little monkey she made sure to bring along as her wingman (wingwoman? wingthing?).

  21. Ted from LA

    I think she’d make a great Russian gymnast. Madonna in 2116.

  22. Jammy


  23. Fit & Petite

    When I first started going to the gym and working out with light weights twice a week, my husband asked me not to get ugly manly bicep muscles like Madonna. I have nice cuts in my arms but not huge biceps like Madonna.

  24. She could fist a guy (ritchie?) deeper, faster, and longer than he ever imagined was possible. So I hear – not that I’m into that sort of thing.

    Jesus, I’m so fuckin hard right now.

  25. Guy

    This must be a photo of makeing the trip from her town house converted gym to her house one house next from it. I heard she tried to buy the house that links hers and the converted gym one, but the person wouldn’t budge. The reason why she wanted to buy the linking house is so she could avoid anyone seeing her in this state.

  26. nerdkiller

    “The material girl reinvents her self again, this time by cutting off her gross arms”. I hope thats the title for the next Madonna related post.

  27. rottenhole

    Thats not madonna, its Iggy Pop!

  28. Jose Canseco

    This is not a compliment. Her arms are concentration camp skinny yet musclar kind of an oxymoron. i imagine she is on steroids and starving herself …best guess.

  29. gitch

    The ugly girl next to her is dying because Madonna’s prattling on about “yes, well that was before I became an international supastah, and becoming an international supastah changes everything, I mean EVERYTHING, any time you go anywhere a crowd forms just to get a look at you, and…” *bang*

  30. Randal

    Mr. Rogers is my hero and I hang out at Burt and Ernie.
    Everyone here lusts out for Big Bird.

  31. shanipie


    someone should tell Madonna that once you start looking that masculine, its time to take a break.

    Thats the opposite of sexy, except I guess if your a very confused girl…

  32. Gerald_Tarrant

    Those arms don’t look good. They look like old woman arms. She’s not buff, she is literally just skin and bones now. Her and Marc Anthony should hook up and retire to Ethiopia, where even the Ethiopians would think they look like Skeletor’s head and Skeletor’s body.

  33. I’ve linked a picture that clearly dispels the rumors that she’s been using steroids (it’s from her “Sex” book).

  34. Lowlands

    Holy crap!I’m having the same Adidas pants!

  35. Groucho

    Wow, nice to see Iggy Pop with a shirt on, finally!

  36. evinrude

    #31 Or Randal.

  37. Kayleen

    She looks like Willem Dafoe in The Boondock Saints.

  38. Lowlands

    After an intensive workout the muscles are always a bit pumped up and the veins are swollen.This is a very normal body reaction what we see here.Still,i don’t think she can beat me with armwrestling.She needs to workout more for that.

  39. Captain-Insano

    Madonna is not on our side. Doesn’t she live in the UK. Remember, the fake accent and the all-high-and-mightyness and all that shit?

  40. Those arms are mantastic…Madonna is a man now, right?

    Oh, she is not now a he? Wow, her arms put some 20something males to shame. Guy Ritchie must have some lantent homosexuality if he wants to sleep with that willingly…

  41. Clem

    Good afternoon Mr Ciccone!

  42. Italian Stallion

    Her vagina hangs like sleeve of wizard………..

  43. Excuse me, I do not appreciate you making fun of my drastically manly arms. I have worked very hard to achieve cavernous looking dents in my inner arm to hide African babies on my trips to Niger so I don’t have to go through all of that process stuff when stealing children. My outfit is made from the skin of a Nigerian baby. Nigerian baby placenta body wash also keeps my skin looking fresh and young. Mmmmmmm ooooooo, give yourself to me. Mmmmmm ooooo…you are…the key. Mmmmm ooooo, if i could free base a Nigerian baby’s heart. Mmmmm oooooo, my body would never fall apart.

  44. Auntie Kryst

    @40 Guy does..He’s an englishman.

  45. Get Into The Groove (the creepy one between her bicep and humerus)

    ‘Two tickets to the gun show’, all right – two tickets to the pasty, detached, flaccid and disturbing gun show.

  46. Those home bicep implant kits really aren’t recommended for seniors.

  47. Patrick

    Ewwww… Those are the nastiest, over worked and under fed grandma arms I’ve ever seen. She needs to take it easy on the dumbbells and eat more sandwiches.

  48. diamonds

    lol @23 I get the same comments from guys when I tell them that I lift free weights and work out a lot. Men don’t like their women to look masculine and hard, they want thin and feminine.

  49. mrs.t

    #35-good lookin out.

    And I’m all confused now….I was reading about the “pregnant man”, who is actually a transgendered woman….then I see these pics of Madge and feel the need to call bullshit on this other dude’s claim of ‘first’ on male-pregnancy.

  50. CinnaRose

    Did anyone else notice a striking resemblance to Iggy Pop? I’m calling for a DNA test…

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