Madonna & Guy Ritchie want to adopt/kidnap another kid

August 12th, 2008 // 30 Comments

Madonna and Guy Ritchie were reportedly set to “adopt” an African girl named Mercy before their marriage hit the rocks. Now that the healing has begun, the couple is moving forward with the adoption plans that don’t sound anything at all like an international incident waiting to explode. Except for, oh I dunno, the part where the child’s grandmother doesn’t want to relinquish custody but is being forced to by Madonna’s adoption agency who I’m willing to bet is Blackwater. The Sun reports:

The friend said Madge “fell in love” with Mercy when they met at her orphanage last year. However, the girl’s gran Lucy Chekechiwa, 60, said she has been asked repeatedly by officials if Mercy could be adopted by an “unidentified foreign family” — but was firmly against it.
Speaking from her village in Zomba District, Lucy said: “We know that it is Mercy who Madonna really wants. We heard it is because my granddaughter is such a beautiful, happy child. Twice I have told the adoption people that I do not want Mercy to go outside the country. But they keep on at us. Now they say that Mercy will be leaving us, but can return at age 18. Yet I might not be alive then.”

I feel sorry for Madonna’s publicist Liz Rosenberg. She’s working her ass off to make it look like her client’s not an undead creature of the night, but then you get stories from the heart of Africa about Madonna sweeping into villages and stealing children. She’s going to have to bang someone way more famous than A-Rod to make this one go away. I’m talking, at the very least, Jesus and/or Batman.

superficial

  1. Satan

    First suckers

  2. First

    FIRST!!!!

  3. literarycritic

    C’mon, Fish, that comment about undead creatures of the night was just uncalled for. What did the undead ever do to you? Did they ASK to be undead? No! They were just bitten by another undead creature of the night, which was entirely beyond their control. Making fun of the undead is SO not cool. Get some new material!

  4. oh snap

    Madonna is a creeper….

  5. Plastic Sturgeon

    I feel sorry for Guy. After meeting Madonna his career took a nose dive.
    Not only that, it must be sad knowing however much he works out, Madonna is still going to have bigger arms (however grotesque).

  6. What would A-Rod do..?

  7. i’ve heard of keeping up with the jones’s but it seems that skeledonna is trying to keep up with brangeloser’s. if they keep playing one up manship, we’re gonna solve world hunger.

  8. Sally Struthers

    Enough with this adopting a single child thing.. she needs to step her game up and adopt a whole village.. i’m telling you, it’s gonna be the new hotness in Hollywood… technically you’d only need 10 cents x roughly 500 people = 50 bucks a day..

  9. Ted from LA

    I heard Dennis Rodman is the father.

  10. Natanya

    If she’s really just taking a kid like that, what a cunt.

  11. lawrence22

    Madonna is a great artist. I always enjoy her performance very much. Ifound she is dating some at a online dating club. You guys can go to Richromances.com and check her out.Seems she is certified member of that site.

  12. dew

    @#10-Natanya … I think that’s pretty much how she got her first adopted child, deciding which one she wanted, her people bribing the local officials, who pressured the somewhat older relative into giving the boy up, now she misses him.

    If rich people are going to adopt from other countries, only show them true orphans!

    Don’t let them wander around openly so they can choose any child that tickles their fancy that still has family to care for them.

    I’m surprised England is allowing this kind of thing to happen again, once the truth came out after the first kidpapping-’adoption’.

  13. Randal

    lawrence22,

    You are just jealous that Madonna didn’t sweep into your Korean village and adopt you.

    Madonna is a huMANitarian.

  14. kk

    Madonna is a horrible person.

  15. rumble grumble gurgle roar

    can we get madonna, guy and the new kid to dress up in the Lara Croft outfit, have them do front kicks and post the photos here…pretty please?

  16. LaraCroftsmole

    If Madonna was such a saint she would provide a living so the child could leave the orphanage to live with the grandmother who obviously loves her.
    Did no one tell her yet that having or adopting another baby is not a way to fix an ailing relationship! Sheeesh.

  17. Ted from LA

    Dear Madonna,
    I have a solution to your problem. Buy the grandma too and hire her as your maid. Money can buy everything… people, power, love, private jets, health, youth, biceps, etc. Silly, you should have figured this one out yourself.

    Warmest Regards,
    Ted from LA

  18. TundraFire

    My parents are dead. They can adopt me! I want fat wads of future cash. I wonder how long I’d have to wait until they both die and I can expect a payday?

  19. #18, with our powers combined im sure we could (after were adopted, of course) devise a plan involving steep cliffs, paparazzi and faulty brakes… AND… nothing saves a deteriorating relationship like dragging children who depend on you and your functionality into the horrid mess

  20. Splooge

    #16 – “the grandmother who obviously loves her.”
    Yes, because nothing says love like having your grandchild live in an orphanage!!

  21. beachpeach

    ZOMBA DISTRICT–where else would the undead go to kidnap offspring?

  22. Kate

    You know I LOVE how she’s so quick to run off to forgein country and adopt a baby. What’s wrong with the babies in America? There’s LOTS of babies in AMERICA that need adopting….but the people who adopt in forgein countries are just wanting an “exoctic” “designer” baby to brag to their friends about. “Oh well Zulu cost 50,000 to adopt, which means she’s better then that kid you adopted here AND she comes from an African tribe!” …….As much money as the witch makes, she could give a 10 yr salary to the grandmother to raise that baby. She’s disgusting.

  23. LK

    22- Idiot. You can’t compare orphans in America to orphans in Africa. Please, go to any sub-Saharan (such as Malawi) nation and you would never open your dumb-cunt mouth like that again. Everyone wants a nice, clean, healthy American baby. You have no idea how many children are languishing in dirty excuses for orphanages, with no medicine and half with AIDS. If Madonna, or anyone, can adopt a child from that situation then more power to them. I know she’s already funded shelters and schools, so she obviously wants to do whatever she can.

  24. backup dancer

    #23- thanks for that insightful comment, Madonna.

  25. why oh why

    With all her millions, can NOTHING be done about the myriad veins in her arms and hands? Have em removed, Madge!

  26. I wouldn’t want to let madonna have another kid, she probably just wants her own place to harvest bone marrow for youth serums…

  27. HelioMobile

    What is up with those arms. Yuck. Why is he tapping that? WHY? WHY? WHY? He can get any bitch he wants!!!!!! …….Ughhhhh!

  28. KAY Y’ALL LIKE EWW.. MADONNA IS SO TRYING TO COPE BIG LIPED UGLY WHORE ANGELINA, LIKE NO. WHO EVER SAID THAT ADOPTING KIDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TO HAVE YOUR OWN COLLECTION IS JUST WRONG…… MADONNA IS JUST A BITTER… GOSH SHE LIKE ALREADY TOTTALLY ADOPTED I KID AND NOW SHE WANTS MORE FROM LIKE OTHER PLACES… SO LAST SEASON MAG!!!!

    ANY WAY Y’ALL VOTE FOR MY SEXY HUBBY OBAMA FOR 08 PRESIDENT!! HE’S HOT! THANKS!!!!

  29. kedjanyi annor

    i want some one to adopt me

  30. HI MADONNA;HOW ARE YOU DOING?
    THIS IS SAMUEL WRITING TO YOU,LET YOU KNOW THAT I NEED SOME ONE WHO CAN ADOPT ME.MY MUM AND DADDY DIED AND THEY LEFT ME AND MY GOYUNG SISTER BUT NOW THE WORLD AS BECOME DIFFICULT TO ME AND HER.
    A COUPLE OF YEARS I LIVED DOWN ON THE STREET AND NOW AS U’M WRITING TO YOU I’M SERVING IN THE CHURCH.
    I WILL BE HAPPY IF YOU REPLIED ME.

    MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
    YOU ARE GOOD MUSICIAN FOR ME.

Leave A Comment