Lindsay’s SCRAM is a Piece of Shit

June 25th, 2010 // 44 Comments

TMZ reports Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM is apparently sensitive to spray tanning solution which explains why she looks Cokey the Druggiest Jersey Shore Kid outside Voyeur last night:

Multiple sources say people have told Lindsay she can’t get a spray tan while she’s wearing the bracelet, because a chemical in the tanning solution can create a reading which would show the presence of alcohol.
Lindsay’s response to that warning — we’re told she’s still getting a spray tan 1 to 2 times a week.

Seriously, what doesn’t set this thing off? At this point, Lindsay could down two fifths of vodka, set her SCRAM to DEF-CON 1 then turn around and tell the judge it must’ve been that tuna fish sandwich she just ate. “Hmm, let’s see. Tuna fish, tuna fish, tuna fish. Ah, yes, here it is. Right underneath ‘breathing oxygen’ and ‘taking a nap.’ You’re free to go.”

Photos: INFdaily


  1. what huh
    Commented on this photo:

    1st for bullshit

  2. what huh
    Commented on this photo:

    1st for bullshit

  3. Vandal
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she had botox? Her lips look puffed up to fuck.

  4. Lilo has her priorities. Gotta be orange. Can’t you see how glowing & healthy it makes her skin look?
    Getting orange is worth 10k a pop, revoked bail, and antagonizing an already really pissed off judge.

  5. Kristine Levine, Pornclerk to the Stars

    If she isn’t orange we won’t know it’s her. Ya know. Like a road cone. If a road cone isn’t orange, what the hell is it? I totally get it.

  6. Yes!

    That’s one tall orange soda right there.

  7. Randal(l)

    Lindsay looks great for her age. She makes Betty White look like a God Damn Mongoloid


  8. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  9. shift
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone just put this worthless skank in prison already.

  10. More likely, this alcohol and drug receptacle has found YET ANOTHER excuse for future positive test results. She is such a skanky, lying sack of shit. Stay home once in awhile – read a book, pop in a DVD and make some dinner or something. Nobody wants to see you around town or be near you.

    Fucking worthless Oompa Loompa with tits.

    • Oompa Loompa HQ

      Don’t you trash talk our Princess asshole!
      We’ll come over & chew off your feet at the ankles.

  11. hohoho

    she’s got that swollen face look again. must be packin condoms in those cheeks.

  12. Modwild

    Having purchased some of the style of shoe/boot things she is wearing, I now know why she has taken so many face plants lately.

    Her tan does look good. ;-)

  13. MisAnnThropy

    Bullshit, Just another cover up to her addictions..

    “I WASN’T drinking, I was sweating from dancing & my spray tan dripped into the bracelet!!!”

    Honestly, if this was a normal person, they would be in jail by now, oh wait.. According to Dina they are treated different & they’re just normal people.. AH HA!! THEN SHE SHOULD BE IN JAIL!!!

  14. I wish this cunt would just go ahead and o.d on a pack of Halls already…

  15. DahJay
    Commented on this photo:

    Man this chick is a dirtbag.

  16. Burt
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s no way her legs weren’t photoshopped in that first picture.

  17. herbiefrog

    wow invective… : )))

    [laughs out loud @: )) …
    you all should know

    [ta ) ]

    ok night

  18. herbiefrog
    Commented on this photo:

    funny : )))

  19. Jackholeasshat

    She has a lot of freckles as well.

  20. Shit Tornado

    i can maybe see the spray tan setting off the SCRAM bracelet, i’m not an expert but i know that mystic tan color is about the same principle as when you bite into an apple and it turns brown…. and fruit ferments… but.. it’s a far cry. I feel bad for her, I’m sure she’s an addict and needs help but coming down so harsh on her isn’t going to help her it’s just going to lower her self esteem and make her care even less about herself. I think she looks great here. She’s an idiot – she can’t possibly be smart enough to get away with abusing alcohol/other drugs when she’s being tested frequently (i dont think anyway) so maybe people should lighten up. I am a shit talking celeb basher but I’m not cruel and heartless…. alcohol withdrawal is beyond awful (i’ve been in the hospital for it) and on top of how horrible the anguish is, she’s got the entire world who doesn’t know anything about her attacking her based on what Fish (or other bloggers) tell them. So for once I’m going to side with Lindsay “I Once Had Potential” Lohan; if you read this please consider that no matter how many websites she appears on and publicity stunts she pulls, she is still a human with a conscience just the same as you are.

    BUT her spray tan does look like total shit, someone should be nice and tell her to lay off a bit. :)

  21. ohnoes
    Commented on this photo:


  22. bar room hero

    I would SCRAM* this slag.


  23. RaraAvis

    She may be stupid, but she knows that we only pay attention to her when she behaves badly. I hope she lives to be at least 60 – that’s what I chose in her death pool. Watching a crackhead roll down a hill is funny; watching a crackhead slowly, slowly slide down a hill will be absolutely hysterical. C’mon, bitch! Stay unfocused!

  24. BrosLikeThis

    This whore has three chins.

  25. captain america

    we all know by now…………………………SHE IS.

  26. August Teen

    Even if that were true–it’s not–she can’t lay off the tanner for a few?

  27. joho777

    Lindsay’s jowls are sagging and she has multiple chins.

    Maybe the judge will ease up on the random testing, and Lindsay can go back to inhaling her favorite alkaloid.

    And, God, get rid of that ORANGE tanner. It makes her look like a radiation burn victim.

  28. Bimbamboing

    What kind of crap piece of technology is this SCRAM? Let’s return to the good ol’ cannonball and chain and regularly hot and cold showers.

  29. sobrietyisacrutch

    It’s looks like some pre-schooler took his box of Crayola to her.
    (The cool 64 piece box with the built-in-sharpener that my Mom never got for me because that would have been “wasteful”.)
    Issues, man. Issues.

    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she lost a bit of weight. Maybe she HAS stopped drinking! :o

  31. Lynn

    Why is she so embarrassed to show her scram?

  32. Nate

    So the SCRAM is a POS because you’re to stupid or lazy to figure out exactly how it works? FUCK OFF LOSER!

  33. Rhialto

    How about placing this SCRAM bracelet around her neck? A name plate with ‘LiLo’ on it could be optional.

  34. Sizzle

    Does she even have any fans? Does she realize that the only reason she’s “famous” is because people take pleasure in watching her kill herself?

  35. Truthspeaker

    Actually the piece of shit is Lindsay Lohan.

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