Lindsay’s Career is Officially Over (UPDATE: And She Just Sued Pitbull)

Photo Boy / August 19, 2011

Posted by Photo Boy

Normally when I read a story about Lindsay Lohan almost landing a role that also contains the phrase “sources tell us”, I automatically assume that is a reference to Dina Lohan slurring into an empty gin bottle like its a reporter’s mic. But in the case of the highly anticipated male-stripper coming of age epic Magic Mike, it turns out Hollywood’s least favorite drunken titbox of a slore *unzips gimp mask, breathes sigh of relief* almost had a job. E! Online reports:

We’re talking about Magic Mike, and sources tell us LiLo was this close to landing the part. Instead…It went to model-turned-newbie actress Riley Keough (Elvis’s granddaughter and Lisa Marie Presley’s daughter, FYI).

When asked why Lindsay was passed over for the role, director Steven Soderbergh had this to say:

He didn’t want to deal with all that,” our source spills. “Nobody wanted to go there.

By “go there” he of course meant having to repeatedly send a PA over to wardrobe to replace Channing Tatum’s g-string because its covered in Starbucks-flavored puke again. The article also says that the role would have been perfect for Lindsay because the character is “trouble with a capital T.” And even though that description hasn’t been used since newsreels in the ’40s, its plain to see that even a director doing a film about a freckle-titted sea jasper merchant wouldn’t cast her at this point.

UPDATE: And of course Lindsay just filed a lawsuit claiming some lyrics in a rap song are sullying her “good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild,” despite the fact that no director in Hollywood will even let her near a boom mic. (Because she fellates it.)

Photo: Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News