Lindsay Lohan needs some new shoes

July 3rd, 2007 // 135 Comments
lindsay-lohan-bikini-birthday-candids-00.jpg

Lindsay Lohan quietly turned 21 yesterday and spent the day at a beach house wearing a bikini and giant blue plastic shoes. Her mom and sister were there, along with friends Samantha Ronson, DJ AM, and Evan Ross. She left the party around 2:15 AM and went back to Promises where she’s set to finish off her rehab. Allegedly no drugs or alcohol were served, but how else do you explain what she’s wearing? Does she really want us to think she put that stuff on sober? I’d rather admit to making out with my sister than to have picked out those shoes. And I’m not a plastic surgeon, but I’m pretty sure somebody has secretly replaced her butt with a pancake.

Photos: Splash
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  1. gossipmonger

    23. Posted by curious on July 3, 2007 12:05 PM ok gossipmonger, i’ll bite. who we talkin ’bout?

    Lindsay Lohan’s may need to do a quick re-think on who her real friends are, even within her own family! Celebrity Babylon has learned that while her DJ pal Samantha Ronson, 29, looks like she’s there to help her pal through thick and thin, she’s really making a tidy profit on the side, shilling Lohan, 20, out to photographers eager to get her photo looking passed out and wasted. While an “out of it” Lohan thought she was just going home after a night out at Teddy’s in Hollywood on May 27, Ronson made a side trip to a gas station. A source tells Celebrity Babylon, “The car was only down a quarter tank, and yet Samantha stopped for gas. She has a side deal with a photo agency and they paid her to make the pit stop!” If that wasn’t shocking enough, sources say that it was Ronson who was holding the cocaine later found in Lindsay’s car.

  2. justifiable

    #54 kelli, you’re the equivalent of a kid who fills his diaper and then smears its ocntents on the wall. I’m hoping OJ has one more murder left in him.

  3. jrzmommy

    71–fecal smearing…….eeeeeel.

  4. justifiable

    #72 Those “z”s sure don’t mean Zorro’s in the neighborhood.

  5. Quick! Someone call Nikon, and tell them who’s been seen defaming their nice D200. I expect they have lawyers. Lots of lawyers.

  6. matt

    The picture of her taking a picture of the paparazi- isn’t the cap on?

  7. bri_fari

    my guinea pig has more ass than LI-LO. poor girl got dished out table scraps in the booty dept. she needs one of those rubber fetish suits to balance out the shoes for that nasty german euro pron look.

  8. norton

    Looking like the prostitute she is… media whore, pussy whore, cock whore and knife wielding psycho on coke. That pretty much covers it.

  9. Regarding the post of number 11-why did you feel
    the need to take my name? I happened across this
    site in December of 2006 and decided to comment
    in January of 2007 and came up with gossipmonger
    as it’s what my mother called me when I spoke poorly
    of others so I feel that it’s pretty much mine; yet you
    choose to use it.
    Perhaps you could come up with your own name-just
    reach back into your teen years and remember what
    your mother used to call you when she found your
    behavior tiresome.
    Yours truly,
    Gossipmonger

  10. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    She’s falling apart. in 5 years she’ll be Kathy Griffin.

  11. wedgeone

    #43 – Jesus Horatio Tap-Dancing Christ, schack!! What the flying fuck did I ever to do you that you feel the need to add me to your trolling list? It’s bad enough that you all up on Jimbo’s grill for whatever reason, but you have to add me into your game?!? You into threesomes or what?

    Go suck on Joanie Laurer’s monstrous clit, you trout mouthed heathen! When you’re done, diddle your own cooch with a broken Stewart’s Rootbeer bottle while Britney Spears fists your asshole without lube. You sorry fuckface.

  12. Jimbo

    Why the fuck did this boring ass story get moved back to the top? Does the Superfish get a payoff from Britney, Lindsay and Paris?

  13. RichPort

    She has old white man in Speedos ass.

  14. someone fuck me in ze azz
    i mean my mouthz
    i need it repeatazly
    zure wouldz feel good
    better than my brotherz dick
    gotz to go zuck my unclez azz

  15. OJ in FLA

    #83 What’s your number?

  16. lambman

    WHY DID YOU BUMP HIS LAME NON-STORY?

  17. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    This is an excat re-creation of what it would look like if you gave a chimp a camera for the first time.

  18. lalaland

    i actually think she looks good in the pictures (for being lindsay) not some scrawny bitch (well not scrawny!)

  19. dana dearmond

    the shoes are louis vuitton

  20. BaldAsBritney

    Does anyone know where I can find out what the weather is in Connecticut?

    cause I’m dyin to know

  21. kristen

    I really would like to know where krazihotkelli gets her “drugZ”

  22. HankTheDwarf

    Lindsay Lohan is a disgusting, measle-freckled, anemic drug addicted slut with a boy’s body and face.

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND GOODNIGHT.

  23. Chauncey Gardner

    How can you live in Hollywood almost your entire life and never get the hang of good fashion? These celebrities blow my mind. You’d figure their agents or managers would make sure that if their faces and skin and bloated bodies look like shit, they’d at least have a modicum of class when it comes to the clothes they wear. If they didn’t dress like clowns all the time, they might not get hassled as much as they do.

  24. PR Diva

    I think Lilo looks great! Shit I’m a girl and I would do her, well without those horrible looking shoes…..

  25. Those are porn star shoes. There are seven naked guys in the beach house waiting for the A to M session to start.

    Roll Camera!!!

  26. gossipmonger

    Posted by gossipmonger on July 3, 2007 3:31 PM

    Regarding the post of number 11-why did you feel
    the need to take my name? … Umm actually, I’ve been posting infrequently under this name for well over a year and a half, and not just on this site under this name, so I think you need to give your head a shake there and go back to your own nickname your mommy called you… what was that again? trashy cum guzzling whore?

  27. ssdd

    Is it possible to sue Maxim for false advertisement? ;)
    Well…….. they need to be sued, brought to court and demand an explanation for picking this bratty snot-nosed freckle infested child as HOT #1 …my god..

  28. wedgeone

    I think i’ll eat poo now…

  29. gossipmonger

    Troll Troll Troll

  30. hollyj

    Eric Estrada called. He wants his sunglasses back.

  31. RichPort

    I’d make her butt pancake sticky and salty. Y’all welcome to the leftovers.

  32. woodhorse

    Wedgeone & JRZ – well it’s good that the Goldman’s have the book but – Jesus – I don’t think I could stand to read it. I hope that they make money and cause everyone to hate OJ more but is it really possible to be more disgusted with him?

  33. Second City

    It’s almost like he’s a heirhead.

  34. Lux

    Looks like she has the same stylist as Britney Spears now. And her ass being flat isn’t news, it was always flat even when she was meatier.

  35. bigDINGdong

    I’d pound that trashy ass, and fuck her mom, and shoot my load on all those shit-eating papparazzo’s

  36. Lux

    Eww. I hope you have good health insurance.

  37. CursedClem

    This should have been titled “Lindsay Lohan still fucking ugly”.
    I wouldn’t touch her with yours.

  38. #84
    Those are not the original krazihotkelli. She doesn’t even come here, anymore. Those are her trolls and when typekey comes back I have krazihotkelli’s password. She’s gone.

    And now another gay sex fantasy? I usually find them to be boring, but trolls are the best thing this site has to offer lately.

  39. Eric Estrada

    Naw, she can keep the sunglasses. Does anybody want my spares? I don’t need to get associated with Lohan and her dragging MY career down the toilet, too!

  40. Danklin24

    I’m tired of seeing this bitch in a bikini. Her ass sags as much as her tits.

  41. madame.o

    Why is everyone wearing cheap-looking black-and-white diagonal striped bikinis that look like they cost $20 at Target?

  42. miss oblivious

    I seriously hope she’s kidding w/ those ugly ass shoes, and doesn’t actually think they look hot. Well, other than that she’s looking somewhat healthy and attractive…for Lindsay Lohan, that is. I never found the immense appeal over this freckly, baby butted, annoying bitch.

  43. woodhorse

    #45 #46 – no shit? Those are some seriously fugly shoes that seriously do not match beachwear for that amount of money. Please notice Mother is taller barefoot than Linds on her blue peeweeherman’s. Also, mother’s tan has turned bluish and the freckles seem to be connected by cancer dots.

  44. kati

    i like her hair, i think she looks lovely.

  45. herbiefrog

    so we like freckles

    [can we say that?]…

    apparently we can : ))

    night babes ))

  46. Miss_PMS

    If you took a shit and painted the turd bright blue and stepped in it you would have the same results as Lindsay. She looks like she smells like spooge, Jack Daniel’s and cigarettes.

  47. loha

    she IS A fATASS!!!
    pig thighs and pregnant belly

  48. leelee

    So…. what has she been spending her time at the gym doing? Just sipping on cucumber water?

    Seriously, I see no semblance of a person whose been working out every day in these photos.

  49. DAG

    I have some “cucumber water” she can “sip” on!

  50. allyrising

    #110 – Hey now, I buy my swimsuits at Target and they look way better than this piece of shit. Then again, my swimsuits cost $30 instead of $20. The $10 makes all the difference. Oh yeah.

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