Lindsay Lohan makes Pete Doherty look like Jesus


In one of the most ridiculous accounts I’ve ever read, Lindsay Lohan’s ex-bodyguard, Lee Weaver, reveals he quit being Lohan’s bodyguard because she was too out of control. He tells the News of the World that Lohan:

ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off. SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge. SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she “didn’t belong on this planet”. ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.

I don’t doubt that Lindsay Lohan is out of control, but this is insane. And by insane I mean 100% totally true. Although he left out the time she got into a fist fight with a homeless person and then ate his brains raw.