Lindsay Lohan left the Cirque Lodge facility in Utah this weekend and is spending some alone time with her dad. If that’s not creepy enough, she’s also plotting her diabolical return to the spotlight. E! Online’s The Awful Truth reports:
“She thinks it’s so funny that everybody’s worried about her,” revealed a Lohan bud to Desk Awful. “She says, ‘Oh, what a pitiful girl, they must all be saying,’ and then she breaks into hysterics,” added the somewhat nonplussed amiga, who included the following little verbal baby I simply adore ’cause it’s just so very real-life Mean Girls:
“And she doesn’t like Britney taking away all the attention, either.”
A storm is brewin’, my friends. Beware as the fire-crotched lass and the gelatinous blonde prepare to wage war over an epic battlefield of cocaine, paparazzi and Cheesy Beefy Melts. Can Lindsay’s rampant substance abuse and promiscuity stand a chance against Britney’s piss-poor parenting and imploding career? Who shall be the victor? Also, it’s been a while since I read Revelations, but shouldn’t four horsemen and a seven-headed dragon show up soon? Wait, what? Britney ate the dragon and Lindsay gave the horsemen VD? Damn. This is going to be awesome!
Somegirl | October 8, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I think she is doing much better! I’m rooting for her..
silly habits | October 8, 2007 at 5:55 pm
i hope hohan stays straight. britney went sour at about the same age hohan is now so she better take this as a lesson.
veggi's True Troll, the one she loves most of all!! | October 8, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Oh how I love the troll that wrote this post for me! Who cares about LL when you can have a troll like this one? Mmmm . . .
sporking beats spooning every time | October 8, 2007 at 6:00 pm
drugs and whoring are so passe. nothing is better than brit’s meltdown and she knows how to stretch it out to last longer. hohan will have to work hard to top the head shaving, umbrella attacking, stripping to her thong in a strip club brit.
lil princess | October 8, 2007 at 6:03 pm
this is what ive been waiting for all these years. HOLY YAY!
salmonswife | October 8, 2007 at 6:04 pm
she’s ORANGE
Auntie Kryst | October 8, 2007 at 6:07 pm
She’s out? Seriously, this isn’t funny. Has anyone told the CA Highway Patrol? I think they are on high alert for this day.
ssdd | October 8, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Soon ..she will be photographed with the SAME people who all she was with before rehab ..did those people go to rehab, ..uh no.
She will never change.
The only thing that has changed these days, is that she’s been sitting on her Daddys cock a lil more than in the past.
She’s an abosolute train wreck waiting to happen Again and again and yet again. I can not wait until she does fuck up. I’m betting on it, I’m hoping for it…
Mindy | October 8, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Unlike Lindsay, when I spend alone time with my dad there’s no fisting involved.
soy | October 8, 2007 at 6:10 pm
ohF*UCK
Pincola | October 8, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Lindsay’s dad is simply helping her strengthen her personal relationship with Jesus. And by Jesus, I mean the tangle of pubic hair on the underside of his nutsack where it smells like week-old gym socks and feces.
ssdd | October 8, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Infact, it appears in pic 10 she’s making her first post rehab drug deal.
LLBikini | October 8, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Before it gets too cold. More Lindsay Bikini pictures. I can’t believe no one at the rehap place got pictures of LL taking a shower.
SaraDevil | October 8, 2007 at 6:12 pm
No, the dragon will make a fantastic mother. I don’t want to speculate about the horses.
wedgeone | October 8, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Damn, she better not be out and back in all the blogs. I absolutely hate her and her fucking peace signs and smirky facial expressions. I just want to reach all the way up, yank out an ovary, and then bite it right in front of her.
PunkA | October 8, 2007 at 6:19 pm
I smell PPV gold!!! Lilo v .Brit in a classic smackdown Ultimate Fighting Challenge!! YES!!!!!! The winner gets a lifetime supply of Red Bull and Cheetohs!
lux | October 8, 2007 at 6:19 pm
I hate to admit it, but I’ve kinda missed the little whore.
jenster | October 8, 2007 at 6:23 pm
competeing for all the trash rags, I’m glad to see she aspires to so much
Grace | October 8, 2007 at 6:24 pm
I wish a crazy meth-head shanked her in rehab. :(
haroof | October 8, 2007 at 6:28 pm
As long as she keeps those beautiful milk mammaries looking healthy and keeps up the snorting coke into the wee hours she’s got my vote.
Sairie | October 8, 2007 at 6:29 pm
her thighs look bigger hmmmm
Danklin24 | October 8, 2007 at 6:34 pm
I think its funny that Lohan thinks anyone actually gives a damn. No wait, not funny…..hilarious.
FRIST!!! | October 8, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Eh…I give her two weeks tops.
lil princess | October 8, 2007 at 6:46 pm
@13…. its because she doesnt take showers!!
amanda | October 8, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Okay everyone…she is not doing better. I live in Salt Lake City, UT…I saw Lindsay at a local club on Friday night. She did not look sober. We were both in The V.I.P area she was so close to me I could have pulled her horribly colored hair out. I think it’s sad, to be honest this girl has no idea how dangerous addiction can be. She better pull it together…I mean seriously going out to a club after just getting out of rehab…how stupid is she?
jacknasty | October 8, 2007 at 8:31 pm
yea!!!!!!!!!!
She’s free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jimbo | October 8, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Firecrotch mmmhmm. That *does* mean she has some hot n tasty pussy, right? Right?
I’d hit it. Well, I would if I had a penis. I bet I wouldn’t be the first to use a strapon on her and then let her use it on me.
Damn it TT, see what you’re doing to me?
I’d certainly lick it.
lindsay is a bore | October 8, 2007 at 8:51 pm
lindsay better get to work FAST. the post of her and the post on paris generated a measily 52 comments TOTAL while the brit post is over 150 comments.
Miguelito | October 8, 2007 at 8:57 pm
The friend’s report has the ring of truth. Lindsay thinks she has tricked all the suckers yet again. She got another movie role, when a couple months ago it looked like her career was over and she’d have to go to prison for months or even years.
She thinks she’s a criminal mastermind. But really, she’s a naive and innocent — yes, innocent — kid who the devil is helping along to her destruction. She would have been much better off being thrown in the hoosgow until she was 25.
leelee | October 8, 2007 at 9:58 pm
So what is this a picture of exactly??
The orange fat chick that ate Lindsay?
Missystar | October 8, 2007 at 10:24 pm
God…she is so used-up looking.
jon | October 8, 2007 at 10:36 pm
@29;
The devil?! hahahha That’s why I read these posts….for the humor, sarcasm, absurdity and comedy. If someone does something wrong it’s because a red-faced guy with horns and a pitchfork misleads them? No sense holding someone responsible for their very own choices. Why not blame it on the moon?
Priceless
gossipmonger | October 8, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Number 31-so true! When did 21 start to look this old and haggard?
I watched Mean Girls on tv last night and she’s so good in it-she has
talent, looks, money and at least some family who loves her-why is she
such a flake? What’s with all the cigarettes-I thought this was a rehab?
Just swapping one vice for another.
ha8ter | October 8, 2007 at 11:08 pm
YEEEEECHHCCHHHH. HATE HER.
Shannon Steele | October 8, 2007 at 11:18 pm
OK LMAO.
That was the first time I have laughed out loud so hard in WEEKS.. Oh the Revelations reference was purely insane and delicious!
Gabs | October 8, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Oh God no… she’s back. The Superficial is back to Lindsey/Britney/Paris flood.
cookie monsta | October 9, 2007 at 12:13 am
FINALLY this skank is back on the streets. Now when will the betting come back into the equation, ie will (gelatinous) Brit or (hoover) Hohan be buried first??
I’m not sure which way I voted last time, but I currently lean towards Hohan, all that time in rehab must have given her a HUNGER for the shit.
whatever | October 9, 2007 at 12:58 am
And the Lord said: “Woe unto the inhabitants of the Earth! Your sin will be tolerated no more!”
And the Lord sent angels down from heaven. And each angel was carrying a cage which held a beast. And the first beast released was known in heaven as Apoca, but to man known as the Spears. She carried a cheeseburger in one hand, and an abused child in her lap. From her mouth came the voice of wrath which could make deaf the sons and daughters of man; from her crotch a stench which could crumble the nations.
And the second beast released was named Lypse in the heavens, the Lohan on Earth. Where she exhaled, a sandstorm would arise, made of powdered cocain. And where she urinated, rivers of alcohol would flow, killing all in their path. Her crotch had the power to mesmerize men, but the fallen who could not resist her would be consumed by fire from between her legs.
And the angels trembled and cried out “woe, woe, woe is man! For no one can survive the wrath of the two beasts!”
babyglyniss | October 9, 2007 at 3:03 am
she’s uglier than ever!
Igottabemeee | October 9, 2007 at 4:39 am
At least she breaks up the Britney threads a little. Otherwise it’s all Brit all the time.
All these young women have attitudes that there really is something “special” about them, other than their mothers sold their sexualized children into public slavery.
jane | October 9, 2007 at 5:37 am
figures she doesnt care about getting better all she cares about is being the center of attention the saddest part is the more destructive their behavior the more attention the paps give these useless talentless whores you dont see the paps alway swarming all over respectable actresses like Halle Berry or Catherine Zeta Jones instead all you hear about is Britneys latest fuck up im really starting to believe she is special ed
CaffeBeotch | October 9, 2007 at 5:42 am
@38: Genius, pure genius.
robbyrob | October 9, 2007 at 7:13 am
come on Lindsay is trashing Britney?
http://www.spymac.com/details/2277945
Narcissist | October 9, 2007 at 7:50 am
She looks cute. Made it to the car with her clothes on, too.
I think Lindsey has the Power and the Will and the Discipline and the Charisma and the Chutzpah and Moxie to crush Britney into atoms.
She couldn’t do much WORSE than Britney, anyway.
Her chin looks a little dumpy for 21 or whatever.
hegadeth | October 9, 2007 at 7:59 am
Ugh, fucking Wayfarers.
qroos | October 9, 2007 at 10:00 am
eh… she’s done
Chach | October 9, 2007 at 11:05 am
Oh come on, no round of applause for #38?
Good job. Add Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton and you’ve got the Four Whores of the Apocalypse.
Lexoka | October 9, 2007 at 1:11 pm
My money’s on Britney.
BunnyButt | October 9, 2007 at 2:52 pm
If she hates Britney so much, why is she hanging out with her (pics 5 & 11)? That IS Britney, isn’t it?
whatever | October 9, 2007 at 10:01 pm
#47 – don’t give me any ideas :-) I’ll write a book. I’ll title it Revelations of Crotches without Panties