Lindsay Lohan claims she’s the E-Trade baby and somehow just like Madonna

March 9th, 2010 // 93 Comments

Because not all cokedealers accept blowjobs, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million over a Super Bowl ad featuring a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay (after the jump). The New York Post reports:

The ad — part of a series starring babies who play the stock market — features a boy apologizing to his girlfriend via video chat for not calling her the night before.
“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.
“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”
Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said.
“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

Yes, clearly, the baby was a hilarious reference to Lindsay, but did her lawyer seriously just equate her with Oprah and Madonna? How do you not get disbarred for that? That’s like taking the oath then equating Britney Spears with someone’s who literate and understands children aren’t footstools. This whole system’s out of order!

Photos: WENN
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  1. My name is Lindsay too!!!

    What an ego!

  2. Big'n

    BFD. I’d fuck her.

  3. LB

    That E-Trade commerical was :AWSM:
    BEST EVER!!!!

  4. wtf

    LOL…there is NO way she will win this lawsuit. This is fucking hilarious!

  5. I remember this ad, thought it was hilarious and never even once thought it was a reference to Lindsay Lohan. Maybe if it was a redhead with hair extensions?

  6. Sport

    Last gasp desperation from Ms. Irrelevant.

  7. PS NO FRICKEN WAY is she a one-name celeb like Oprah, Madonna, Cher…even the suggestion of such is insane

  8. Tom

    Does she even matter.

  9. havoc

    So by identifying with that commercial, she pretty much just admitted she’s an alcoholic. What about admitting to being a cokewhore.

    I want to see that commercial…..

    .

  10. Randal

    First of all, Lindsay is a HUGE celebrity name, just as much as Madonna or Cher, so who else would they be making such a low crack at? It’s not cool at all. When folks talk about her, they drop the last name altogether.

    “Did you hear that sick track Lindsay spun last night?”

    “OMG! I so love your Lindsay leggings!”

    This girl has every right to sue and as one of her biggest fans, I hope she wins. No one needs to have their name dragged through the mud.

    Randal

  11. Milkaholic

    “Did you hear that sick track Lindsay spun last night?”

    “OMG! I so love your Lindsay leggings!”

    Nobody has ever said either of those things. Dumbfuck.

  12. athegu

    I guess that means Lindsey Vonn should be able to sue for twice that much! E-Trade would be smart to hire Vonn on the spot…..

  13. Tiffany

    I love her leggings too! Too bad she won’t win this lawsuit. Get all of LL’s clothes here http://outfitidentifier.com/?cat=126

  14. Randal, do you make your sugary-sweet posts about the downtrodden just to try to balance the negative ones, or do you champion losers automatically?

    Lindsay’s gonna lose this one; she must need the money bad if she’s willing to stretch sooooooooooooooo far to reach into the advertiser’s pockets. There are millions of people named Lindsay. For her to assume that she’s somehow the target is as ridiculous as it is egotistical. Instead of filing bogus lawsuits, girlfriend needs to accept her hasbeenism and get a job.

  15. Anonymous

    Would someone kindly bitch slap Randal? He’s always been delusional, but today he is reaching new heights never before seen.

  16. royaltee

    Had the baby’s name been “coke-mule”, Lindsay would have a case

  17. farttits

    Congrats on getting trolled by Randal, geniuses.

  18. POW

    I don’t remember seeing any white powder in the commercial.

  19. snarkyscreenname

    Did anyone stop to think that *perhaps* Randal is simply a smartass? I mean, he isn’t ACTUALLY defending Hohan, he’s simply offering ridiculous rhetoric on par with the stupidity of the “Lindsay”….
    Geesh people

  20. Odd Thomas

    Who the fuck is Randal and why can’t his parents spell his name properly?

  21. Wha?

    Milkaholic you said exactly what I was thinking.

  22. Jade

    Really?

    ‘Madonna’ and ‘Oprah’ are unique names; ‘Lindsay’ is common.

    I wouldn’t think anyone could be more stupid than Lindsay Lohan, but it appears her lawyer is.

  23. dude

    To all the Randal lovers, esp #20:

    His name was Randall. But his parents beat the “L” out of him.

  24. the only opinion that matters

    Randal, you crack me up! He’s taken the art of smartassim to a higher level … advise to newbies, don’t take Randal literally.

  25. Name (required):

    @ Odd Thomas
    LMAO. That’s the best one-liner of all the comments thus far.

  26. YES

    I love Randal.

    His comments are the same style every time. They bring a joy to my heart by way of their ridiculousness. His words seem to flow like rays of the sun. I hope we can all use Randal’s goodness as a model for our own source of optimism.

    Keep shining your light Randal.

    -YES

  27. Evo

    What does LL do, actually, anyway. The only time I hear about her she’s drunk or getting arrested for something. She’s what, a singer, dancer or something? You rarely even see her face on the news cuz she seems to be passed out in the gutter, most of the time when the photogs get her.

    She needs to get over herself, big time.

    I can actually name a few Madonna songs, and more than a few really bad movies she’s been in. Oprah is an icon. Lindsay Lohan is a flash in the pan. HAH! Her name is underlined in red. Even my spellchecker doesn’t even know who she is! What a loser. She way, way doesn’t own the name “Lindsay”. Not even close.

  28. Dank

    Is she really delusional enough to think that when people say Lindsay they’re automatically talking about her? Coke whore has a pretty high opinion of herself now doesnt she? I guess thousands of lines of coke and gallons of cum being shot down your throat will make anyone crazy.

  29. aleximaq

    WOW…this chic is hurtin bad…..

  30. DJS

    I thought they were making fun of Lindsay Wagner the bionic woman. Where did she even find a lawyer hard up enough to take this one on.

  31. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Oh yeah, Lindsay Wagner better hop on the bandwagon and sue too! Cuz that was the first time I ever heard the name “Lindsay”!

    Ridiculous.

  32. Katie

    Yay! Now E-Trade is countersuing her: http://bit.ly/a0Xh8j

    She is going to be even more broke, if that is possible. But she shouldn’t go around filing frivolous lawsuits, because corporations will come after you when you defame them.

  33. wolfe

    Someone is out of liquid cash, eh?

  34. Someone is really desperate for money…and delusional about their Hollywood status! You would think someone from her inner circle would have stopped her so she wouldn’t embarrass herself!

  35. stanlymorris

    Lindsay was in the top hundred popular girl’s names in the 90′s…. there are a TON of lindsays out there. Can’t say the same for oprah madonna or cher. I even knew a guy named lindsay in high school

  36. Quinn

    “milkaholic”….. not “crack ho with a pussy the size of an open parachute”. fail

  37. smart dumbass

    I think this is a thinly veiled attack on Lindsey Buckingham from Fleetwood Mac.

  38. tt

    I saw the commercial and it was hiliarious. My husband and I love all the E-Trade commercials. I never connected Lindsey Lohan to the commercial. She is definitely not a one-name star or star at all. She ruined that just likes she has screwed up her whole life.

  39. blah@blah.com

    Lindsay Lohan is a ginger, nuff said

  40. Peanutty

    Where is the fake Randal(l)? He was funnier.

  41. Quinn

    I think that was the fake randal. the real randal would never suggest suing anyone. he would hay forgiveness is one of lindsay’s best qualities.

  42. Hmmm

    Randal is becoming a staple of this site and its just great. He should be hired

  43. Matthew

    miss lohan don’t you get it your a Z-list celeb and you had your shot

  44. Carolyn

    God she’s gross.

  45. Mike Nike

    The only thing she could market is douches saying that they worked on her stinky freckled fire pussy. She is disgusting. She can’t act. She can’t sing. Why are we talking about this stank ass hoe?

  46. She’s delusional. I saw the ad, and as much as I love me some drunken/coked up mess Lohan, I didn’t think of her once. Maybe had the baby been red headed and dressed like a cheap hooker I would have put two and two together, but on name recognition alone, it didn’t click. The only modern celebrity with a common name that I could even think of, that would halfway get away with pulling a stunt like this, would be Britney. Lindsay needs to sit down and have a long talk with her bottle of vodka. She’s crazy to think she was ever that famous. You’re not “first name famous” until everyone’s old batty grandmother knows who you are. If I didn’t read trash on the internet, I would have just figured LL died years ago.

  47. Sue Lindsey

    “Where is that coke-snorting career-less, Lindsey?
    That’s the only way I could have connected any dots to Mrs Lohan…

    And you know, the baby”s mother should sue Lindsey for defemation of character – to characterize her baby girl as a drug riddled has-been.

  48. bob

    Had the baby a cock in her mouth it’d be a more convincing argument.

  49. Trousers

    “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? ”

    susan sarandon? Theres probably tons of names you could use. Lindsay Lohan is no more famous than any of them

  50. Tracey

    Wow, if she ever sobered up maybe should would realize how ridiculous she is. Er, doubt it. And how old is she now? 24? maybe? I’m 45 and I don’t have to balding head, the bags under the eyes or the wrinkled forehead.

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