Lindsay Lohan’s Not in the ‘Machete’ Trailer

July 14th, 2010 // 37 Comments

Because casting Rose McGowan in his last movie led to his divorce, it only makes sense that casting Lindsay Lohan in Machete would cost Robert Rodriguez his career. The new trailer was released Wednesday (after the jump) and it’s magically sans-jail-bound-firecrotch. Except the studio’s acting like it was meant to be that way because she’s barely in the movie. In fact, haha, they don’t even know who you’re talking about. E! News reports:

Now, you may be asking: Why wouldn’t want the studio want to feature Lohan—the only noted name who didn’t make the jump from Rodriguez’s so-called “red-band” trailer to the official one?
From what we hear, there just isn’t a lot of Lohan to tease—her role isn’t all that big.

Of course, this is all industry code for Robert Rodriguez’s out back getting his nuts punched in until he agrees to make Spy Kids 5 because, seriously, Lindsay Lohan? What the fuck? He could’ve spent the entire budget trying to teach a kangaroo to be his butler and the studio would’ve been less pissed. “So there’s no money left halfway through production, but you managed not to cast a crack addict? — I’m failing to see the issue here. Champagne for everyone!”

superficial

  1. electricgirl

    She’s an idiot.
    first

  2. captain america

    on the other hand: the jail is serious stuff.

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

    • testington

      That’s what they said from the beginning, she was only filming a cameo. Why would or should she be in the trailer?

  3. I think this picture is so hot, despite it being lilo.

  4. Burt

    I think it could be interesting if Lindsay Lohan and Tarantino got together to make a women’s prison movie.

  5. Daryl G.

    Hey, writer? Learn to fucking write.

    Its? You’re like the opposite of shitty tween bloggertwatters. Use an apostrophe when necessary.

    • heather

      who gives as flying fuck man! We’re not in English class and not writing an essay that’s being graded on here. we’re just poking fun of stupid celebs and being “superficial” (note that I put an apostrophe in we’re) why come on here and comment on spelling???? aye aye…..

    • Joking right? That’s what you come on here for, for grammar and punctuation? Why don’t you hop on blogspot and scroll through the millions of blogs on there, you’ll keep yourself busy for a couple of decades.

    • Dewd

      “It’s” is a contraction of “it is.” “Its” is the possessive of “it.”

      Way to go, Daryl G. Way to go.

      Punctuation FAIL.

      • Rush

        Yeah, Daryl G, before going ape-shit about grammar, learn how it’s used.

        Notice the use of”it’s” with an apostrophe in the sentence above, because it’s necessary. (Again, “it’s.”)

        If, however, I were to say, “Daryl G fingers its ass,” or, “Daryl G sucks its own dick,” no apostrophe is necessary.

        Thus endeth the lesson.

      • Daryl G.

        He changed it after my comment you fucking cunt. In a world where people are losing their jobs one should not have a writing position based on their lack of ability to do so.

    • shalala

      actually Daryl G is right there does need to be an apostrophe. “its magically sans firecrotch”= “IT IS magically sans firecrotch”… which means it should say “it’s.”
      however everyone else is right in that it doesn’t really matter and no one really cares.

      • August Teen

        Daryl, you need a comma before “you fucking cunt.” And you incorrectly combined the singular subject “one” with the plural possessive pronoun ‘their.” I could also quibble with the lack of parallelism between “writing position” and “ability to do so.” Finally, and most important, you’re clearly visiting the wrong sites if you’re trying to correct gossip bloggers’ English.

  6. TBozz

    Changing the subject slightly, the trailer looks awesome!

  7. LOLA

    woooooow that pic is sooo scaring she looks like a snake :s

  8. don juan
    Commented on this photo:

    First bitchez!!!!!!!!

  9. Eric
    Commented on this photo:

    first

  10. joho777

    Why should Lindsay be in the trailer? She almost isn’t in the film “Machete.”

  11. bitingontinfoil

    I remember that parts of this trailer (Trejo jumping through the fire on his “machine gunned” motorcycle) were included in the beginning of the QT film “Grindhouse” – I’m assuming they made the movie at the same time as Grindhouse??

    • Slappy Magoo

      bitingontinfoil, no. People just went more apeshit for the fake trailer (and the other fake trailers in Grindhouse) than the movies they were attached to. According to boxofficemojo.com, Grindhouse cost 67 million to make, and it’s worldwide gross was less than 26 million. This explains why Rodruiguez went back to that well. It also explains why there are stars in the movie who weren’t in the fake Grindhouse trailer. And it possibly explains why Rodruiguez made this over at Fox instead of for the Weinsteins, who co-distributed Grindhouse (as well as Rodruiguez’s involvement with Fox’s Predators).

  12. Bubba

    So by the logic that lohan doesn’t play a very big role in the movie, we better see de niro and alba on screen for more time than her… otherwise i’m gonna write a strongly worded letter to robert rodriguez and the studio explaining how disappointed i am that she was left out of the trailer and that i was only going to see the movie because she was in it. then i’d smoke pot and play video games and forget to mail the letter since i dont have any stamps, and who the fuck sends letters anymore? i’m pretty sure the studio doesnt even accept them anymore. if you want davey jones’ autograph, you have to send him an electronic mail.

    or a fax.

  13. When did this bitch have time to make a movie?

  14. ReElectNobody

    Any move with this loser is a movie I won’t see…..

  15. Nameless

    Meh…this pic of LL is all wrong. Shouldn’t she be munchin’ on a piece carpet inside of licking the tip of a gun?

  16. Dina did an interview with In Touch Weekly saying “Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town,” Dina said. “She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.”

    She has such a humanitarian nature.

  17. Karin

    The movie looks great, at least the trailer does. Who gives a fu *%& about crackhead Lohan beeing in it. It’s no like she has the leading rol in it doesn’t she ?

    • Beverly Beaver

      The movie has Steven Seagal in it too, so it’s like a double movie-death curse. The combination of the two should mean the total revenue should be about $13. On the bright side, i am quite sure it will be nominated for quite a few razzies.

  18. g!

    HOW CARES ABOUT LOHAN!! Michelle Rodriguez AND Jessica Alba ARE HOT!!!

  19. Filipe Sousa
    Commented on this photo:
  20. Kipi
    Commented on this photo:

    Shutup Eric!

  21. JEH78

    Lohan and Segal are in it because the movie is a campy throwback to 70′s Grindhouse type movies. The cast is filled with great to not so great actors. Not like this is a a serious movie or anything. Danny Trejo gets his first starring role and stars OVER De Niro, which has to be awesome for him. Really nice guy and Machete is going to do well.

  22. eve934

    The men in this movie are beyond ugly. Guess they don’t want any women going to see it. Old ugly guys, yuck.

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