Had Lindsay Lohan taken a plea deal earlier this week and agreed to 60 days of rehab that would’ve easily been whittled down to two weeks after she punches the entire staff, her shady as shit lawyer Mark Heller could’ve avoided going into court today to get her entire lying-to-police case dismissed. A move that ended in him basically being called a fucking idiot by the judge and more importantly unfit for practicing law in California which means Lindsay has to find someone else crazy enough to pursue such legal strategies as, “But I didn’t do ittttt.” TMZ reports:
It was shocking but Judge Jim Dabney reamed Mark Heller, saying he was incompetent to practice law in California and said Lindsay either has to get another lawyer who knows what he’s doing or she has to come into court and waive her right to a competent California lawyer.
The judge informed Mark Heller he screwed up the legal docs he filed by not following California law … and the motion to dismiss charges was DENIED. Heller tried to blame the previous lawyer, but his paperwork was so screwed up … his argument fell on deaf ears.
The judge went on to say Heller doesn’t have a clue about criminal law, questioning his competence to handle the case.
Fortunately for Lindsay, her dad was of course hanging around outside the courthouse and already shoved his face into a TMZ camera vowing to personally hire a new lawyer with money he somehow has despite being months, if not years, behind on child support. That said, it’s almost impressive to watch how far this man will go to kick a vagina. “Alright, so we get the three of us in a room together, and I think after she meets you, she’ll want to hire you. In the meantime, don’t worry if you see me putting on snow shoes. They’re strictly for arch support.”