Lindsay Lohan Will Be Out of Jail Today. I’m Calling It.

July 20th, 2010 // 52 Comments

While watching TMZ’s live feed before the court ordered all video and audio recordings turned off while Lindsay Lohan was handcuffed, two things the judge said suggested, to me anyway, that we’ll be seeing Groinus Infernus walk out of jail this afternoon:

1. The time Lindsay must check into rehab after serving his sentence was dropped from two days to 24 hours.
2. The judge said she’s not sure how long the jail will hold Lindsay and has heard various numbers at various times. All she can do is “impose the sentence.” Though she made it clear there would be no house arrest or work release.

I really hope I’m wrong about this, but let the countdown to the ol’ overcrowding excuse begin!

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Smaug

    PHIST, FISH

    • I live, I ride, I am Rough

      What’s the starting bid on the post cavity ginger flavored latex gloves going for on E-bay?

  2. Gore Vidal

    Her talent demands that she not be jailed!

  3. Why does my mind wander to the numerous “Girls in Prison” movies I’ve seen over the years? FFF, baby! Firecrotch Fisting Festival!

    Seriously, I hope she’s in there for effin’ ever.

  4. Taz

    I think ten days

  5. Once she’s done her jail and rehab is she essentially shat out the legal system, or does she have additional parole/probation?

  6. Ness

    Her mouth says: yes, I suck a lot, many things, different colors… thats why I drink all the time, because I need to fill the hole.
    P.s. LINDSAY SUCKS!

  7. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  8. Sizzle

    I didn’t realize she had any “fans” until I got on Twitter and searched for “@lindsaylohan” Wow, now I’m convinced that 99% of humanity is retarded.

  9. michael

    paris was in jail 4 half of the things lindsay ve done ..! lindsay deserves it!!!!!!!

  10. Booya

    I’m glad she had time to touch up her roots before checking in…

  11. LJ

    Hey…the new girl is up on the logo….

  12. Randal's Rectum

    Looks like this A-list superstar is looking at some serious time in the slammer. Sharpen your shanks, Ladies, because that is one fiery red head that kicks behind and takes names.

  13. Turd Ferguson

    Worthless human being. But it could do her some good and help rebound an embarrassing life. I do hope the jail sticks, and does some good so this train wreck doesn’t become another tragic Hollywood story.

  14. Karen

    People have this all wrong. Lindsay’s in a van on her way to jail and she’s already beaten up 2 fellow prisoners. Anybody who can go as psycho as she does has nothing to worry about in jail. All you brave keyboard jockeys, on the other hand…well, years later you’d be tearfully disclosing to your therapist how you had the best orgasms of your life during the anal rapes.

  15. captain america

    attention: I SEE A WALKING ANUS!!
    ………..oh no, sorry: it’s lindsay lohan’s mouth.

  16. There she goes.
    I hope that the SW is wrong. A week or 3 in solitary would do this poor trainwreck some good. At least keep her thru the weekend.
    What message does it send when you have these high profile criminal cases & all the time they are released after a matter of hours? Do what you like…there are NO real consequences!

    • Romeo Rodreguz

      Unlike Paris Hilton — who spent her whole jail time sobbing uncontrollably and having a mental breakdown — I foresee Lindsay as serving her time while being far less needy and emotional.

  17. She’ll eventually OD, so whatever !

  18. Teabagger

    Speak for yourself – I for one am rooting for the tragic Hollywood ending. Something more embarrasing than “autoeroyic asphyxiation” and more public than Mel’s “raped by a gang of n***ers” career ending comments. 

    That is, if you consider “blowing directors for bit parts & coke money” a career….

    Keep in mind, when she gets out there’s a nice lawsuit for grand theft waiting for her and potentily more criminal charges stemming from that. So I guess we have to hope that some other prisoner sets a land speed record for “shanking a semi-celebrity” – I’m willing to thow a case of smokes in for the bounty – who’s with me?

    • Vito

      Hey, wait, guys. This isn’t going to interfere with her doing the Linda Lovelace film, will it? I figure since thay can’t get Elisha Cuthbert or Megan Fox, it might just as well be Lindsay.

  19. Brad

    To the person that commented about her having time to do her roots: this is an old photo. You can tell because Shawn Chapman Holley is in the background and we all know that she’s done with LiLo and wouldn’t be in a current photo by her side..

  20. BiJenni

    She’ll be out before the VD test come back from the infirmiry.

  21. bestest

    I hope she serves at least 22 days or however it will be. How many chances did she have? Too many.

    Hope she learns something and gets over herself.

  22. Moknows

    Shapiro quit this bitch so holly was her attorney today. Hope the stuck up c ya next tues climbs the walls in solitary. Siily beatch u don’t get visitors at 1am in rehab that’s why Shapiro said adios to her she thinks she is hot stuff and jail rehab rules don’t apply to her. Enjoy the strip search blo-low han

  23. Jen

    i give it till tomorrow morning.

  24. Lindsay Lohan Reports to Jail
    Commented on this photo:

    No. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. Dawn Weatherby

    I won’t be satisfied until I hear Lindsay’s flesh actually rotting in prison.

  26. Armando

    I dunno Paris had money Lindsey is broke unless she’s gonna bride with her fire crotch

  27. eman

    her lawyer seems to be happy

  28. Anonymous

    We should start a pool.

    I bet she’ll be out by next week. Sheriff’s Office will end up putting another bracelet on her and place her under house arrest for the remainder of her sentence.

  29. Jen

    there has to be a website where you can bet on shit like this, they might make alittle bit of money…people can bet when they think she’ll get out…

  30. Lindsay Lohan Reports to Jail
    Chupacabra
    Commented on this photo:

    can you imagine her hair when she gets out in 90 days? Think of the ROOTS, man!

  31. ed45

    Why the hell is this mildly retaded whore dolled up for what looks like a club night? More importantly, what is the facination with her???

  32. sobrietyisacrutch

    She’s taking women’s jail pretty seriously. She’s already decked out in her weight-lifting belt.
    I’m gonna pump *clap* YOU UP!

  33. Why has no one commented on the tragedy that is Shawn Chapman Holley’s blouse?

  34. Elissa

    It seems like Lindsay has put on some weight since the SCRAM was put on her. Not saying she’s fat, just bigger than she was. It is a sign that she’s doing better, getting healthy.

  35. Lindsay Lohan Reports to Jail
    Numba1LohanFan
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck that biased cunt of a judge!

    • Jen Aniston

      Yeah! Sending a drug-addicted, alcoholic, law-breaker to jail… WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO? People should be able to drive under the influence and endanger the lives of innocent people without getting in trouble. I mean really. 12 days in jail is just SUCH harsh sentence!!!

      /end sarcasm

  36. Lindsay Lohan Reports to Jail
    DC glass service
    Commented on this photo:

    Useful info. Lucky me I discovered your web site by chance, and I am stunned why this accident didn’t happened in advance! I bookmarked it.

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