Everyone In The World is Lying About Lindsay Lohan

October 17th, 2011 // 49 Comments

On Friday we learned that Lindsay Lohan had been kicked out of her community service program for basically being Lindsay Lohan (i.e. not giving a shit.) Apparently she took umbrage with people finding out and decided to go on Twitter to lie her face off because it’s not like there’s going to be a court hearing this week where everything is confirmed and she looks like an idiot:

I am not to be made an example of anymore. I am working hard and fulfilling my obligations every single day, to the court as well as myself. If I travel, its for work and its been approved. As is anything I do when I leave the state. I’d appreciate it if people will just let me do what is asked of me, so that I can get my life back. Please ignore the reports which have no truth to them. Thank you

How do I know this is bullshit? Because here’s Dina telling TMZ Lindsay’s doing great with her community service, so it’s only a matter of time until we find out she burnt the building down and/or ran around punching abused women in the face:

Our photog caught up with Dina outside East Hampton Studio last night where she described Lindsay as “great,” “wonderful” and “really on it” when it comes to doing her community service.

And just for shits and giggles, here’s a dentist telling RadarOnline that Lindsay’s teeth look like yellow hell because of more than just smoking. I wish I had a hat on right now, so it could fly off in surprise:

“Smoking causes yellowing of the teeth, which we definitely see here in this picture. However, at such a young age, smoking wouldn’t cause the decay and browning you see around the gums. Damage like that is something we see in patients who are using or have used drugs.”

But what about hooking? Why no mention of hooking? Or do they get dental now in Obama’s socialist America? I WANT MY TOOTHLESS HOOKERS BACK!

Photos: Fame

superficial

  1. kimmykimkim

    According to Mel Gibson, “hugging the cactus” will get the coke out. Whatever the fuck that means. Ha! Gibsonisms! What fun!

    • Dude Ranch Owner

      More like getting bucked off of a mean horse and falling into a cactus. It would take her six months just to get the needles out of her giant ass, no time to do coke. Trying to remove and work out those needles would occupy her 24/7.

      • Jack Ketch

        These days, she always looks likes she’s “been pushed out of a fast-moving boxcar by a mean railroad dick.” — Stephen King

    • Assless Chaps

      Ok I’m outta here

  2. Juano

    Girl is pretty pathetic. No other way to put it. Another example of how Hollywood raises them up, makes them into stars, and then dumps them out on the street, ill prepared for life as a normal person.

  3. “If I travel, its for work…”

    Yeah, right. What work would that be? She seems to have a helluva scam going. She can claim any “social event” she wants to attend is “networking” with other actors, directors, or producers with the possibility of being offered a role.

    • KG

      Reminds me of that line in Steve Martin’s “The Jerk”. He’s writing a proud letter home to his parents

      “[...]I think next week I’ll be able to send some more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty promised me a blow job. ”

      I’m assuming this is the work Lindsay is talking about, as well. Bless her heart.

    • Jack Ketch

      Or a rolled joint …

  4. She's FUCKED

    She’s a stupid little girl who’s lived her entire life without having to be accountable for anything. She lies; so what, it’s hollywood & my mommy will make it right. She steals; so what, have her assistant return the stolen necklace & say “it’s a misunderstanding”. She drives drunk: so what, “I didn’t kill anyone”. She fakes her way through court ordered rehab 6x: so what, it’s my life, I can ruin it if I want. She ignores her probation: so what, it’s not important & people will understand, ’cause I’m a huge movie star! Except, this time she’s going to be fucked. The judge was very specific about what was required of her, and she hasn’t even come close to fulfilling her obligations. I hope the judge gives her a year in jail, mandatory sentence, to be served in general population. This little bitch needs a come-to-Jesus moment, and that will only happen when she’s humiliated (being beaten down by other inmates & having her stuff stolen should do it) & is forced to deal with it…

  5. missloopy

    hooking doesn’t ruin teeth, hooking buys the drugs that ruin the teeth… so don’t worry, there will still be plenty of toothless hookers to go around.

    it looks like her veneers popped off, because even in recent pics she had straight white teeth in the front. either way, i am 99% sure meth is involved.

  6. Dylan

    Daddy, I want her! I want her!

  7. Lindsay Lohan
    :P
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a soulless ginger afterall…

  8. BeeDog

    I’m a black dude with a freckle fetish and I wouldn’t even hit that anymore. Thats saying a lot people, ain’t it?

  9. so she can’t afford a therapist yet she is always clubbing and going to these designer stores buying over-priced, useless crap.
    and she thinks her story is going to convince a judge?
    well, maybe in so-cal it might.

  10. forrest gump

    so everybody loves her?

  11. Lindsay Lohan
    Father Gibson
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a walking bowel movement.

    Let’s pray that God will deliver the inevitable fatal overdose soon.

    Amen.

  12. Lindsay Lohan
    Neal
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Lindsay wearing a Courtney Love costume for halloween or Courtney wearing a Lindsay one?

  13. Mary Callahan

    Tick – tock Bitch ! The time for reckoning is coming , whether it’s the law or the law of averages. You’re making your own luck in every action you take or don’t take . Your days of privilege and ignoring the real world are slowing , inexorably focusing on the day you become just a human like the rest of us . I hope you will find some kindness from the unwashed masses

    • Shia La Poof

      Time is a bitch ! She’s going downhill fast ! Drugs will delude you into thinking otherwise , but they do take a toll on your physical beauty . She should do the reverse Oscar Wilde thing and examine her earlier pictures . She might be surprised at how this short time has aged her in an unflattering way

  14. Dilo is so fuken stupid she doesn’t realize we were all already laughing at her daughter so there was no need for her to comment on Lilo’s “condition”. Now her and her daughters lack of intelligence is CONFIRMED! I’m hoping for a bifecta hanging by suicide of them!

  15. anonym

    holy fucking double chin !

    she looks worse than Sharon Stone

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