Everyone In The World is Lying About Lindsay Lohan

On Friday we learned that Lindsay Lohan had been kicked out of her community service program for basically being Lindsay Lohan (i.e. not giving a shit.) Apparently she took umbrage with people finding out and decided to go on Twitter to lie her face off because it’s not like there’s going to be a court hearing this week where everything is confirmed and she looks like an idiot:

I am not to be made an example of anymore. I am working hard and fulfilling my obligations every single day, to the court as well as myself. If I travel, its for work and its been approved. As is anything I do when I leave the state. I’d appreciate it if people will just let me do what is asked of me, so that I can get my life back. Please ignore the reports which have no truth to them. Thank you

How do I know this is bullshit? Because here’s Dina telling TMZ Lindsay’s doing great with her community service, so it’s only a matter of time until we find out she burnt the building down and/or ran around punching abused women in the face:

Our photog caught up with Dina outside East Hampton Studio last night where she described Lindsay as “great,” “wonderful” and “really on it” when it comes to doing her community service.

And just for shits and giggles, here’s a dentist telling RadarOnline that Lindsay’s teeth look like yellow hell because of more than just smoking. I wish I had a hat on right now, so it could fly off in surprise:

“Smoking causes yellowing of the teeth, which we definitely see here in this picture. However, at such a young age, smoking wouldn’t cause the decay and browning you see around the gums. Damage like that is something we see in patients who are using or have used drugs.”

But what about hooking? Why no mention of hooking? Or do they get dental now in Obama’s socialist America? I WANT MY TOOTHLESS HOOKERS BACK!

Photos: Fame