Lindsay Lohan Tried To Bail On ‘Scary Movie 5′ By Pretending She Has Pneumonia

September 12th, 2012 // 53 Comments
Never Hire This
Lindsay Lohan Red Dress Tiara Liz And Dick Set
No, Seriously.
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Above is Lindsay Lohan on the set of Liz & Dick because apparently enough people don’t realize what happens when you hire her, and it’s break all your shit whenever she’s not delaying production by plowing Porsches into tractor trailers or suddenly becoming shy about nudity despite doing Playboy. All lessons the producers of Scary Movie 5 really should’ve taken into account because she’s already fucking the whole movie up to the point where even Charlie Sheen is concerned and Charlie Sheen spends his nights trying to asphyxiate himself with coke and vaginas that look like swollen catcher’s mitts, so you know it’s serious. Page Six reports:

“Lindsay missed every meeting she had for the film, including script reads and wardrobe meetings,” said a Hollywood insider. “Then she missed her flight to Atlanta on Sunday to shoot the movie. The producers had been getting signs Friday that she was a mess, and would not be fit to work.”
Multiple sources say that Lohan decided she didn’t want to do the film because she thought her scene made too much fun of her. “It went pretty hard at Lindsay,” said a source, adding the script features a kiss with Sheen, and that “she’d been freaking out about it for weeks.”
But when a call was scheduled to discuss the script, Lohan missed that, too, sources say.
Yet another source tells us that Lohan last weekend began saying she couldn’t do the film because she had “walking pneumonia,” and went to a hospital Sunday to get her lungs checked.
“She is under contract — so to get out of it, she had to prove that she was sick,” said a source. “She tried to prove she has walking pneumonia.”
Another summed up, “She’s been locked up in her room at the Bowery Hotel. She’s been in a tailspin. Even Charlie Sheen worried she might not be able to do the scene.”

So the problem is Lindsay doesn’t want to do a scene that makes fun of the fact she’s a complete trainwreck? Has anyone reminded her she’s getting paid money to do it because that should clear things right up. In fact, tell her the scene is just like giving a wealthy hotel owner a blowjob to get into parties she’s not invited to, and she’ll thank you because she’s never thought of it like that before and feels much better now.

h/t Todd

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News


  1. “The producers had been getting signs Friday that she was a mess”

    Just on Friday, huh? What about…oh, THE LAST TEN YEARS??

  2. FastFoodLocal151

    When even Charlie Sheen is worrying about her, it’s safe to say she’s more than the the proverbial one foot in the grave – nailing the final nails into the coffin, more like.

    • Archie Leach

      One day, really, really, really, REALLY, soon, lindsay is going to be dead and you people won’t have lindsay to kick around anymore.

      • You know, the guy who first said that “you won’t have [me] to kick around anymore” went on to hang around for another 12 years. And even then he never really went away until he died another 20 years later.

      • I don’t see Lindsey making Governor of California, much less President. I think she lacks some fundamental skills and abilities.

  3. Ruckus

    If she can’t be self effacing, how will she ever do SNL again??

    She really needs to get back into her music.

  4. And your winner in the 6 Meter Whordles. . .

  5. Cock Dr

    What kind of dumbass would hire a Lohan?

  6. Schmidtler

    Why ‘walking pneumonia’? What’s the matter, chlamydia isn’t an acceptable excuse for calling out sick to work anymore? Any doctor on earth gets a phone call from Lohan asking for a note saying she’s got some std, he’d fax it right over without even asking her to come in for an exam.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Falling Over Liz And Dick Set
    Commented on this photo:

    i had walking pneumonia too, once, and it’s really had to know you have it if you’re already used to hearing a death rattle when you breathe.

  8. Stop hiring her. It’s time to cut her off completely.

  9. EricLr

    “She’s been locked up in her room at the Bowery Hotel”

    Let me guess, the Bowery gave her a line of credit and thinks they’re going to get paid for the stay and extensive damage she’s no doubt going to inflect on that poor room, right? Sounds like a good plan.

    • Deacon Jones

      That place must look like a fucking mess

    • Cock Dr

      What kind of dumbass extends credit to a Lohan?
      What kind of dumbass would rent her a room?
      Who are these dumbasses?
      Is she blowing all of them for various goods and services? That would be funny. No wonder she has a duckface.

      • Free advertising for the Bowery Hotel by getting mentions in all the gossip blogs and what not. Well…not free, exactly. Whatever Lohan costs them. Still, probably worth it.

  10. Inner Retard

    At first it was funny. Then it became funnier. Then sad. Now just don’t give a fuck and wish the media stopped reporting on her.

  11. Josh

    Goddamn it! This stupid twat needs to just die already. I’ve had to roll over my death pool for 4 years in a row now because of this bitch. Just OD or die in a car “accident” already!

    • EricLr

      “die in a car ‘accident’”

      I’d be afraid she would take innocent people with her. Unless, in the ultimate irony, she slammed head-on into Amanda Bynes.

      • Inner Retard

        Let’s have a charity drag race where these two are the celebrity guests. Except, they’d start from opposite ends of the track so they don’t swerve into each other walking to their cars drunk. To make it interesting – for them – we’d put a pound of coke in the middle. Whoever gets to it first wins.

      • Lets kill ‘em Pinky Tuscadero style.

  12. judgingyou

    Why do people act like her being a mess is a surprise every time? It’s been going on for years, if you haven’t noticed that she’s a destructive wreck at every turn then you need to hire a watcher for yourself.

  13. The Bowery, eh? Nice looking hotel. I wonder what it would cost to decontaminate a classy joint like that?

  14. elephantman

    Hey at least she is consistant!

  15. Even if Scary Movie 5 (ugh) turned out to be the best movie ever made, it still wouldn’t match the sheer entertainment and humor derived from watching this creature’s career spiral slo-o-o-o-o-wly down the drain.

    It’s only gonna get better from here.

  16. FUTMZ

    “What?!! You want MONEY?!!!!!

  17. FU Lindsay Haters! She is a classy snatch! Smell it and see.

  18. Aquila89

    You don’t understand! During the filming of Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor got pneumonia. Clearly, Lohan is a method actor!

  19. El Jefe

    You deal with Lohan, this is what you get. No sympathy from me.

  20. JakeZero

    Even though it’s an illusion, that picture is probably the closest she’ll ever come to having her legs crossed.

  21. Inmate 12236969

    I had walking dripping dick once; never went out with Lindsay again.

  22. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Jesus Christ, can you PLEASE OD already so I am not forced to read about your retarded shenanigans any more!

  23. B&WMinstrel

    Don’t mind me

  24. Mike

    LiLo is my landscaper. If I pay him at the end of the month; he does an amazing job, but I pay him in advance, I never see the D-bag

  25. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Falling Over Liz And Dick Set
    Cadillac Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Not even the Gaffers sandbag could protect the c-stand from the likes of her.

  26. anonymous

    I’m pretty sure Amanda Bynes aka the new Lindsey Lohan is available to make fun of herself driving recklessly and crashing into things.

    Scary Movie 5 can pretty much write LL off and chalk the costs up to PR/advertisement since they pretty much complained enough so everyone will know that LL was going to be in their movie. Hell I didn’t even know there was a Scary Movie 5 until today.

  27. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Falling Over Liz And Dick Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t like hating on Lindsay, because I think she already gets it bad enough from the media as it is.. But I love this picture of her. It makes me laugh every time I see it. It’s just so ridiculous.

  28. cc

    ‘Walking pneumonia’, ‘leaping chlamydia’, geez what’s the diff, when you are sick you are sick.

  29. Happy_Evil_Dude

    Am I the only person out there who’d still do her? For old time’s sake? Now, her and Bynes, that would be quite the trainwreck threesome!

  30. mel

    lindsay lohan and chris brown are two of the hollywood’s most selfish, dangerous, ignorant, talentless, psychotic and noisy degenerate pigs.

    it’s obviously a horrible thing to write on a sight dedicated to humourous gossip, but GODDAMN IT!!….i will celebrate both their demises.

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