Lindsay Lohan’s Oprah Series Has A Trailer

March 5th, 2014 // 30 Comments
Lindsay Lohan Oprah Documentary
WATCH: Official First Look At 'Lindsay' - OWN Network

Here’s the trailer for Lindsay Lohan‘s new docu-series which makes the trailer for Transformers 4 look like the most realistic shit you’ll see all morning. More importantly, it further proves that Lindsay will do literally anything for money including letting Oprah treat her like a dog she’s trying to house break if dogs loved coke instead of Snausages. Because for $2 million you’re damn sure Oprah got final edit, so we might finally get to see a baby get run over. Is it wrong that I’m quivering? Because I’m quivering.

superficial

  1. With Oprah’s wealth and star power, I’m sure this foray into hardcore porn production will be a game changer for masturbation aficionados.

    • JimBB

      “This show has done for hardcore anal porn what ‘Beloved’ did for sappy melodrama!” raves the New York Times.

  2. Her voice is the best laxative ever.

  3. Oh BABY

    Take a bath, Lohan. You look like you stink.

    • JimBB

      I’m guessing a delightful mix of cigarettes, month-old gym socks, dead fish, and stale urine–along with the overpowering smell of Axe body spray, or “A Jersey shower” as it’s more commonly known.

  4. JC

    “I know this is the last chance to do what I love to do…”

    What is that, exactly? Coke? Anal for coke? Getting filmed while fucking up?

    I did like that one outfit she had on, the one with the blue and orange shirt. It looked like a fast food restaurant uniform, which I think is prescient in her case.

  5. im gonna call it- by episode 6 a broken, twitching oprah will be losing her hair, swigging vodka, emotionally and psychologically wrecked and stealing and snorting lohans coke when lohan isnt looking.
    michael lohan, who has been watching from the treetops,realizes its time to interTMZvene.

  6. It seems a bored Oprah is a dangerous thing. Why didn’t she just invest in the Columbian economy directly, and eliminate the freckled orange middleman?

  7. ace11

    Who is Lindsay Lohan?

    Never heard of her

  8. Cock Dr

    More proof that Oprah has too much money.
    That’s a rescue mission that’s gonna cost more than anyone can afford, and if you’re not careful the Lohans will take you down with them.

  9. It’s a good investment for Oprah… solely because people will definitely watch her series to witness this trainwreck. I mean, Fish pretty much confirmed coming in his pants after watching its trailer.

    However you split it, OWN will win at the end.

    • JimBB

      There is a certain sick thrill in watching a fellow human being’s life implode. But Oprah could have saved herself a lot of money by just filming a random group of crackheads and methheads.

  10. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    She turns 28 on July 2nd, if she makes it. Is this Oprah’s idea of gambling?
    “tick, tock, tick, tock…”

  11. Fuck both of these cunts.

  12. dennis

    The beginning of this video where she starts by saying “There’s no party I haven’t gone to; there’s no person that I haven’t hung out with; there’s not situation I haven’t been expose to…”

    Sounds like she describing her call girl job….

    • As a long-term recovering alcoholic, I have to wonder what the hell this crap has to do with anything. It seems like she’s getting her mealy-mouthed bullshit, as well as her bumper-sticker sobriety, from whatever recovery facility she has been attending.

  13. Margaret

    How boring is this going to be? More boring than Kardashiopolis. We’d like to see some tit and just a half hour of her getting gang banged and bukkake’d but who gives a shit about her ‘real life’? She doesn’t have one. The reality is that she is just some dumb chick who fate granted some big tits. For a while. The family of her next victims will get all of the money and then it’s the OD expressway exit and Hollywood will have processed another one.

    Next!

  14. anonymous

    Why did Oprah pay her $2 mil? Most of LL’s watchable bullshit came from the fact that she was broke so she had to whore and steal.

    You pay her that much money and she no longer has to whore and steal. Everything else LL does no one really cares about.

  15. this could be exactly what Oprah’s network needs to pull out of the toilet death spiral it’s been in for years. all it needs is Lindsay to”happen” to suffer a fatal overdose while cameras are rolling.

    now I’m not saying Oprah is planning to murder Lindsay for the sake of ratings, I’m just saying if she did I wouldn’t care. and would tune in.

  16. How much can we really keep blaming Hollywood and her parents? A lot of what I have seen paints LiLo as a victim. My argument is, anyone who doesn’t want to be in the situation they are in can work their way out of it with help (health and sobriety-wise, I mean; not all situations can be worked out of). With how many people are reaching out to her, giving her chance after chance, you know she has help. This is just a stupid twat who doesn’t want to learn from her mistakes and get better. Hollywood may have started it, but the real culprit here is her own damn self at this point.

  17. I cannot wait for this! Im gonna be a mess and Im looking forward to it.

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