BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan Already Pulled A No-Show At Morgue

October 20th, 2011 // 79 Comments

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since her probation’s been revoked, so of course Lindsay Lohan has already blown off the one thing the judge asked her to do to put her back in her graces. ABC News reports:

As of 8:30 a.m. PT today, Lohan had not arrived at the Los Angeles County coroner’s office. Ed Winter, the assistant chief of the coroner’s office, told reporters assembled outside that Lohan made an appointment to be at the morgue at 8 a.m. “If she still shows up will turn her away,” he said. “She failed to meet her appointment.”
Winter said he would pass on the information to the court. On Wednesday, L.A. Superior Court Judge Stephanie Saunter told Lohan to complete 32 hours of community service at the morgue by her Nov. 2 probation hearing.

And here’s the part that makes this even more hilarious which happened either shortly before or during the exact moment the morgue realized Lindsay’s people were pretending she’s on her way:

Steve Honig, Lohan’s publicist, said the 25-year-old actress is committed to completing her required community service following the revocation of her probation stemming from her January shoplifting case Wednesday. “Lindsay has already contacted the morgue and is going to immediately begin her community service there,” he told ABCNews.com today.

Obviously none of this should come as any surprise to anyone considering Lindsay sat in a courtroom yesterday where the judge bitched about California not jailing misdemeanors and basically point-blank said Lindsay will never set foot in prison, so why even attempt to give a shit? Except here’s the sheriff saying he’s somehow going to make room presumably so his department looks like slightly less of a goddamn joke. Via TMZ:

Baca just told FOX 11′s Good Day L.A. … the overcrowding problem will not keep Lindsay out of jail Lindsay, he says, is a “sick” drug addict who needs jail to beat her demons — and if the judge decides to sentence Lindsay for a probation violation, he’ll make damn sure she serves time.
According to Baca, Lindsay needs at least 60 days in the slammer to be properly rehabilitated.

“And when those 60 days get knocked down to 15 minutes, by golly, them demons will never know such hardship. We’ll have taught them a lesson in messin’ with the LA County Sheriff’s Department and it’s steel-like hand of justice. Unless of course it’s chow time. At that point, I reckon we’ll probably just issue a stern verbal warning and be on our way. But it’ll be stern, dang-garnit. It’ll be stern.”

UPDATE: And here comes the bullshit. Her excuse? It took her 40 whole minutes to find the right entrance. No, really.

Photo: Getty, Splash News

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  1. John

    Lohan’s body on the way to morgue?

  2. Probably afraid they wouldn’t let her leave.

  3. imabrat

    Honig needs to bail out now, before all HIS credibility is shot. Anyone nearby will get dragged down as well.

  4. Casey

    If Lindsay spent even 30 days in jail, I wouldn’t want anything else for Christmas this year…

  5. Fester

    It’s time the authorities start thinking of the REAL victims in this case, the dykes doing time who all get wet every time it looks like Lindsay might be within there grasp. Have a heart, your honor and let the fistings of justice commence.

  6. joe

    Wait isn’t she making changes in her life and is seeing the error of her ways. Yeah right

  7. After seeing her yesterday, methinks all they had to do was throw her on the gurney. Couldn’t tell if she was alive or a zombie. If she’s a zombie then I hope those at the morgue will do a double tap when she gets there.

  8. knowing her she’ll run a hooking service out of that morgue. anyone remember Night Shift, with pre-batman keaton, post fonzie winkler? “pros-tit-two-shun” lmao

  9. Her lawyer must be going crazy over this crap. I don’t know how the dude wakes up every morning and doesn’t cry.

    Oh yeah, money!

    • KWDragon

      The “dude” is a chick, and I am sure you are right about the cash. Nothing wipes away those tears of frustration like the Benjamins! Shawn Holley is one heckuva lawyer though. I’d wish I had the cash to hire her if I got in trouble. The woman can make miracles.

  10. “Oh, she’ll definitely show up at the morgue one of these days, soon … the handwriting is on the wall.” ~ Plato

  11. ace11

    She needs a good spanking

    I volunteer to do it

  12. If there is a God, she’ll end up there soon enough anyway.

  13. D-chi

    That all sounds about right.

  14. Judge Hershey

    She can make some money posing for Crack Whore magazine.

  15. did you really expect something else?

    “Lindsay Lohan Already Pulled A No-Show At Morgue”

    Of course, that’s our Lindsay.

  16. Richard McBeef

    Lindsay has supposed to show up at the morgue for a number of years now so this is just another day. She’ll get there soon enough.

  17. cc

    Lindsay, in her next attempt at making a mockery of the the judicial system, is going to bring a revolver to court, fire it into the air, scream ‘Probation my ass, motherfuckers!’ and then do some blow of a stolen guilt-edged mirror with the pricetag of the place she stole it from still attached.

  18. “After spending 45 minutes trying to find the entrance, Ms. Lohan reportedly spent another three hours pushing the ‘Pull’ door.”

  19. Paul

    Just throw her ass in jail already

  20. Alex

    This just in: California legal system fucked (or doing the fucking) again…
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/20/showbiz/lohan-community-service/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

  21. CranAppleSnapple

    I’m going to need a meditation chant to shrug off the anger.
    Saying *cunt* repeatedly seems to be making me angrier.

  22. Rico Jones

    Why does she keep getting free passes to do whatever she wants? In Jersey they come after your ass if you don’t fill out a jury duty questionnaire.

    • cc

      Funny enough, I just got in trouble about that jury questionnaire thing here (in Toronto). Good to know that we are all equal under the law.

  23. meh

    This is such bullshit, the ‘justice’ system there is a total joke.

  24. It may have taken her 40 minutes to find the entrance, but in all fairness, most of their visitors are wheeled in on a gurney. Maybe Lindsay should try it that way…soon.

  25. Idea Man

    If they wanted her to show up all they had to do was check the pockets/lockers of all the current duty LA cops for all the coke lifted off of perps and pool it together to create a mountain of it in the morgue.

    PROBLEM SOLVED.

    As for throwing her ass in jail…why bother? It’s cost the taxpayer tons of money and not “solving” the problem.

  26. Any normal person would have shown up EARLY considering they dodged jail less than 24 hours earlier. 60 days my ass; this chick has committed crimes that would have landed anyone else in jail for YEARS. Unbelievable.

    • Rico Jones

      So true. Any average citizen would have been in jail by now. Why she is allowed to make a joke of the courts right to their faces is beyond me.

    • She couldn’t show up on time for early call when she was filming, so why the hell should this be any different? The only thing you can say about her is that she’s consistent.

  27. Venom

    Throw this idiot Lindsay in prison already.
    Clearly she thinks she is above the law and takes no one seriously.

  28. Mitch

    There is only one good explanation.

    Lindsey got so much good lesbian sex the last time she was in jail she is dying to get back in.

  29. FruitLoop

    Damn it Lindsay, just do porn already!
    You can show up late for work, coked out of your mind, looking like a mess. It’s par for the course in porn-land, their used to dealing with that from starletts. The money from videos of you would make a killing. Then you could claim you’ve hit rock bottom, and work on your hollywood come-back or whatever.

  30. Lord Invader

    So Starbucks screwed up her order and there was a line at the abortion clinic. Relax people, she WAS doing community service.

  31. lolz

    Im really getting annoyed. How arrogant. I guess only the little people pay their debt to society. Get over yourself bitch you were in a couple of stupid movies 5 years ago.

  32. thespiral

    I know we’re supposed to feel sorry for crackheads and all, but I HATE this arrogant bitch. She doesn’t follow the law because she doesn’t have to. There will always be a judge to show leniency because of her celebrity status, there will always be more ass-kissing sycophants to accompany her rotted corpse to fucking fashion shows, there will always be another chance, another excuse to whine and lie and play the victim.

    Until there isn’t anymore. And when she finally reaches her richly deserved and long overdue end, we’ll be subject to another wave of hypocritical media coverage about how she was so “troubled” yet “talented, with so much potential”, and it’s such a goddamn “tragedy” of epic proportions.

    Well, fuck that shit. I feel more for the dead lions in Ohio than I’ll ever feel for this walking, talking, snorting, freebasing piece of excrement.

  33. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    NG
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful shot.

  34. herbiefrog

    hey sweetie./.. you have them all byting : ))

    you’re doin fine

    it’s like type setting : ))

    were gonna go float now…

  35. anonym

    this bitch thinks she can get away with anything.

    i hate habitually delinquent bitches.

  36. herbiefrog

    oh well . . . L: )
    ]

  37. Gary B

    DEMETRIA DEVONNE LOVATO, will you please just punch this bitch in the face like you did when you had that meltdown.

  38. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lips looks like balloons. Ick

  39. lindsay's mom

    she rubbed a piece of shit on her face again to make her look like she has skeleton cheeks

  40. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear she thinks that if she shows enough sideboob, America will forget all the shit she’s done in the last five years.

  41. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    this crazy bitch CAN clean up pretty nice…

  42. Elf

    When I saw that photo and the headline I thought the hearse had lost her coffin on their way to the morgue.

  43. Archies_Leach

    Why are there even morgues? Fuck they’re dead just toss them into the paupers graveyard!

  44. Jones

    Wow, Lindsay is looking more and more like her old man.

    Which is to say, for a girl, FUGLY!

  45. Michael

    Jesus Christ i’m so sick of hearing about this ugly slutty cunt. Throw her in a jail for a year already! And dont give me that overcrowded bullshit…not when you’re putting people in jail for petty shit. Get this scuzzy piece of shit off the street.

  46. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Very glamorous.

  47. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Terrific.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob amfAR MILANO
    Ade
    Commented on this photo:

    simply Beautiful

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