Lindsay Lohan Will Probably Get Free Starbucks Instead of Jail. Yup.

December 12th, 2012 // 30 Comments
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Lindsay Lohan hasn’t even had her hearing today (Which she’s not even showing up to.) to see if she’ll face jail time for violating her probation and already she’s most likely ducked jail and getting free Starbucks from the judge because apparently California celebrity law isn’t ridiculous enough. TMZ reports:

Commissioner Godfrey presides over Drug Court, in which she hears case after case involving people with serious drug cases. Godfrey strongly favors counseling over jail, to the point she has a graduation ceremony for people who complete the program and digs into her own pocket to buy little gifts for the graduates … like Starbucks cards.

While this sounds like an unbelievably sweet deal for Lindsay, I’d bet cash money she’ll be the first person to come out of this program and throw the card back in the judge’s face because it’s not from Coffee Bean. That or Dina will swoop in and snatch it out of Lindsay’s hand with her talons. “Caw! Do they have gin at Starbucks?” she’ll ask. “Caw! I like gin.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    Same face I make when I run over babies.

    • Sliver

      her left hand looks the way your hand would look if you put it through a meat grinder then tried to immediately flash a gang sign.

  2. Cock Dr

    No fresh fotos of the lovely LiLo stumbling out of a club with tits hanging out and powder/booze stains down the front of a coat stolen off of someone’s bar stool?

  3. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    the smoking and drinking are paying off.

  4. It all makes sense now.

    Dina: “Lindsay, we’re out of coffee…go snort some coke, run over a baby, and offer to blow the cop.”

  5. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    Well why don’t YOU get your BABY off the hood of my fucking Bentley!!!

  6. This stupid cunt needs to hurry up and OD already.

  7. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s the same face she has while she’s getting DP’d in the back of her “boyfriends” tour bus. she’s loading up on her protein intake before she “might” be sent off to jail where she’ll be dining exclusively on taco. oh Lindsay, only a few more years left before you become worm food. i just hope that the sex tapes your mother sells of you after your death are before you got really skanky looking.

  8. judgingyou

    You know it’s messed up when you want someone to OD so they don’t kill a couple of people with their damn car. Unless she manages to OD while driving…. fuck, that’s what she’ll do.

  9. EricLr

    The sad thing is, when this girl finally OD’s, or kills someone else in a car crash–every one of these judges, prosecutors, probation officers, etc. will join Dina and Michael in saying “Well, there was nothing anyone could have done.”


    I think its time for LIndsay to finally indulge in the sweet release of death.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      Er, Lindsay, the 27 Forever Club is calling.

      Dying was such a good career move for Elvis, Michael Jackson, Whitney Huston, etc. How do we convince Lindsay? Maybe we don’t have to, from the look of things.

      Okay, I doubt there’ll be Lo Ho film festivals, collectors edition box sets, and all that crap when she offs herself. A collective sigh of relief, maybe, but not the gravy train for Dina.

  11. I don’t think the sendup on the judge is particularly fair here. If she equitably does this with all addicts I’m all for it, because honestly..I’d rather have them going to rehab than effectively being locked out of the workforce (and therefore becoming OUR problem perpetually) by being clinked upstate with a record indicated as such.

    That said, this girl has had about ten bajillion chances. Enough is enough.

  12. I just laughed at her eye makeup. We need to know nothing else other than look at that to know this woman is not playing with a full deck.

  13. Smapdi

    If you are going to operate a ‘justice system’ that offers infinite second chances, that reduces the system itself to nothing more than ritual . . . ritual that costs the taxpayers millions. Its great that Commissioner Godfrey has something to keep her busy during the daylight hours, but otherwise, I see no value in this for the people of California.

  14. Little Jimmy

    Will Dina be using Lindsay’s Starbuck’s card like she did her Carvel Ice-Cream card?

  15. Jimmy

    On a serious note, you’re all missing the point of the drug court. It exists to keep addicts monitored and going to treatment rather than to jail them over small infractions which is a huge waste of money and typically does nothing to actually help a drug addict get clean. They expect people in that program to relapse and fuck up. That nearly inevitability occurrence is built into the program. The idea is that after they fall on the wagon there are people there to pick them up and put them back on instead of let them go on to commit for crimes to support their habit.

  16. annonymous

    She is a complete mess. Enough said.

  17. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she put her face on, WHILE driving the car…cuz, Jesus H, it sure looks like it.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a 60 year old woman who had her plastic surgery done at walmart.

  19. KC

    Like Lindsay Lohan is capable of completing a real drug rehab program; she’s never going to see that Starbucks card.

  20. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    She has never looked worse.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    she is starting to look like cat lady – ease up on the surgery trailer trash!

  22. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    i can’t stand this trailer trash hooker! just go away already – human garbage!

  23. kery

    she is a mess really ;p

  24. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have cigarettes surgically attached to her fingers?

  25. MissJonesy

    Too bad she can’t get a free face and a free career instead of jail.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Drunk Smeared Make Up Driving
    Commented on this photo:

    She gets sexier the closer she gets to having a complete meltdown.

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