Lindsay Lohan Is Not a Drug Addict. Come Again?

Doctors at UCLA have apparently concluded that Lindsay Lohan is not a bipolar drug addict after all and was simply misdiagnosed with ADHD which led to her going on the most highly publicized Adderall bender known to man. Excuse me while I vomit blood. TMZ reports:

We’re told Lindsay has been “weaned off” all of her meds — Dilaudid, Ambien, Adderall, Zoloft, Trazodone and Nexium — and has had no adverse reaction. Likewise, she has had no withdrawal issues in the alcohol department. Bottom line — the docs don’t think Lindsay is an addict.
And, we’re told Lindsay was misdiagnosed in the past with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) — which is why she started taking Adderall. The UCLA docs say LiLo does not have ADHD.
And finally, as for having psychiatric problems — again the doctors say it’s just not the case. Morningside Recovery — the rehab facility Judge Revel initially chose for Lindsay — determined she was bipolar, but the docs at UCLA say she is not. Our sources say Lindsay suffers from a personality disorder, which is all too common in society and sometimes partly the result of difficulties when growing up in Hollywood.

When asked to identify the personality disorder, Lindsay’s physician pulled out a picture of Michael and Dina before making the sign of the cross and lighting it on fire. On that note, other physicians are chiming in to back up the Adderall theory:

Dr. Joe Haraszti — a prominent L.A. addiction specialist — tells TMZ … people who take Adderall when they don’t need it can experience similar effects as people who use cocaine or methamphetamine.
Dr. Haraszti tells us … people who unnecessarily take Adderall can display manic symptoms … and often do things like “driving around until all hours of the morning … smoking heavily … tweeting … and texting all night long.” The doc adds, “They can become very impulsive.”
The doc also notes that people in that situation “might then complain of insomnia and then take Ambien or other sleep aids to help fall asleep … it’s a vicious cycle.”

Awesome. So basically the moral of the story is Lindsay Lohan just got served the biggest scapegoat of her life on a silver platter. “See? It was everybody else’s fault! AHAHAHAHAHA! *drunkenly drives into a day care* The Adderall did it.”