Lindsay Lohan‘s jail fiasco has apparently been reenacted in one of those random-ass Taiwanese CGI videos (after the jump) and this thing has fucking everything:
- Bikini-clad prison guards.
- Lindsay dropping the soap in the shower.
- Lesbian kisses.
- And the coup de grâce, Michael Lohan whipping a shoe at Kate Major‘s face.
I’m going to stop writing now because there’s no way I can follow this puppy unless you count this flip-book I just made of a stick-figure Lindsay talking to a dog. Haha, they don’t sell drugs…
noodles | August 5, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Kate Major’s got some major meat on her. Those Koreans are so quaint
Lohan | August 5, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Taiwanese, you fucknut, not Koreans
Nice small can | August 5, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Same thing – slantly eyed gooks.
noodles | August 5, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Koreans, Taiwanese, they’re all the same you small-dicked-2nd-place clown
Bin Laden | August 5, 2010 at 9:50 pm
all u american jobs belong to Gooks now lol
mountaindew | August 5, 2010 at 4:58 pm
@Nice small can
@noodles
You guys probably have butt sex all the time.
TryMe | August 5, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Yeah, we learned it from you honey cracker white trash shits.
FuckPerez | August 5, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Spelling wise, “Koreans” is almost identical to “Taiwanese,” so while you learn your ABCs, we’ll keep taking your jobs with our awesome math skills while fucking each other up the ass.
Johnny Cage | August 5, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Taiwanese are the remnants of the nationalist Chinese. The Koreans are those people unfortunate enough to have Kim Jong Il living to the north of them.
Slanty | August 5, 2010 at 9:46 pm
america is China’s bitch now hahaha
noodles | August 5, 2010 at 10:46 pm
@mountaindew – bite me
soulsistahhh | August 5, 2010 at 10:56 pm
@noodles
Don’t be such a limp noodle ya redneck hick.
Whoot Taiwan!
Johnny Cage | August 6, 2010 at 12:04 am
@slanty
With economics you rule(thanks to Bush and Obama), but once you try invading us…we’ll go Nanking on your ass.
F_Off | August 6, 2010 at 12:08 am
wow, there are some serious RACIST motherfuckers in this joint. If all you white crackers hate on asians so much and do so much shit talking, tell your boys to stop fucking them asian girls then. Yeah call asians slant eyes all you want, at least they aren’t associated with trash. Those slant eyes you so call are moneymakers you son of a bitch! Watch what the fuck happens to the world if China decides to quit doing production for America one day. You’ll all be fucked in the face.
atotalcad | August 6, 2010 at 9:59 am
@Johnny Cage:
And the Taiwanese had Chiang Kai-shek.
Johnny Cage | August 6, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I’m no expert but I can see why some would be offended. To compare Koreans to Taiwanese to Japanese would be like comparing Swedes to Greeks to Spaniards. Lot’s of differences.
Taz | August 5, 2010 at 3:02 pm
He tagged her with that shoe
Bin Laden | August 6, 2010 at 8:47 am
@ Johnny Cage
Just look around u, u already been invaded hahaha!
Johnny Cage | August 6, 2010 at 2:34 pm
@Bin Laden
You’re a 12 year old kid who got filled with anti-american angst the minute he heard the US rolled over whatever standing army the Taliban had. You shouldn’t be talking politics son. Go back to that one family room your share with 80 of your cousins that nearly got blown up by a stinger that went off course.
Slut | August 6, 2010 at 8:26 pm
@ Johhn Cage
just go back to invading foreign countries, do what u guys do best lol
Johnny Cage | August 7, 2010 at 12:36 am
@slut
First let me say that’s an appropriate name. Another proud mother I guess.
Anyway, this is the SUPERFICIAL not Al Jazeera. So this isn’t the place where you and the rest of your diaper heads go to hypocritically discuss America’s foreign policy, while at the same talking of Jihad against the “lesser religions”.
This isn’t Denmark.
Johnny Cage | August 8, 2010 at 6:16 am
@Slut
Hey I’m sorry about the whole “diaper head” thing. I guess that was uncalled for too, kind of like everyone calling each other “gook” or “cracker”.
*
As for this Lindsay Lohan animation video, I think the cartoon looks nothing like Lohan at all. The 3d animation actually looks more like Kirsten Dunst than Lindsay Lohan.
Jimbo | August 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I bet the video is a better actress than Lindsay
jdivo | August 5, 2010 at 3:13 pm
The real Herbie The Love Bug would have never let Lindsay behind the wheel
ROUGH standing in sushi | August 5, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Thats not accurate. Where’s Milo’s cunt punting reenactment?
havoc | August 5, 2010 at 3:42 pm
I thought when she bent over for the soap she was going to bury her face in that other chicks muff…….but alas.
It was good, but where are all the digi-freckles?
.
Richard McBeef, PhD | August 5, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Putting them in caused the computer to crash.
Ksurfiws | August 5, 2010 at 3:50 pm
This is the single greatest movie ever made. It will win an OSCAR in Every Single Catagory
JR | August 5, 2010 at 6:18 pm
THIS.
dudeatdudedotdude | August 5, 2010 at 3:56 pm
wished it was longer :( and how come these characters never look like the real thing. thats a major buzzkill. and yuh, more freckles!
Mary Jane | August 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Lol.
long live Herbie | August 5, 2010 at 3:59 pm
ROFL; best acting Lindsay’s done in a while. Gotta love those wacky Asiains.
MissAnnThropy | August 5, 2010 at 4:03 pm
OMFG that was the best reinactment EVER!!
I especially love the fact that she wrecked Herbie…
awesome | August 5, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Totally!!!!
Reasonable Man | August 5, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Awesome! How do they do it? Is this done with Sims 3 or some other magic?
Sobrietyisacrutch | August 5, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I see PS3 potential.
Karri | August 5, 2010 at 4:18 pm
what.
the.
f…??
lol.
that’s great.
Mike Walker | August 5, 2010 at 4:25 pm
What’s Joyce DeWitt doing in the joint?
havoc | August 5, 2010 at 5:37 pm
LMFAO!!!
fester | August 5, 2010 at 4:49 pm
A giant billowing cloud of blow when Herbie hits the pole would have made it more realistic.
Coincidentally, the same thing happens when Lindsay hits a pole, if you know what I mean…
Mary Jane | August 5, 2010 at 5:22 pm
That was…Awesome!
dk | August 5, 2010 at 5:28 pm
ahahahaha
JoeC | August 5, 2010 at 5:51 pm
That was the funniest shit I’ve seen all week. Those Asians are really twisted. I love how she’s driving down the road in Herbie the Love Bug while pounding a martini.
fester | August 5, 2010 at 6:00 pm
What’s the deal with pixelating nekkid cgi Lindsay? Who would have guessed that computer generated nipples pose such a threat to civilization that they must be blurred beyond recognition?
long live Herbie | August 5, 2010 at 6:44 pm
In some Asian countries it’s illegal to show nips or any genitallia. Some of these very same countries will allow (real) rape ard killings to be shown though. Go figure.
FrankNfrtr | August 5, 2010 at 6:25 pm
It was a slow news day. I understand.
I will decline your kind invitation to view this CGI masterpiece. I come here for dirty stuff that is real.
jon and kate plus haiti | August 5, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I can’t help but feel guilty a little. I mean we nuke those guys a couple of times and we get this, tentacle porn, bukkake, and hentai. And save all that Japan, China, Taiwan, Korea crap, I am telling you that radiation cloud spread far and wide, like Lindsey does
Erin | August 5, 2010 at 10:59 pm
HA! That was hilarious. All news casts should be like that.
mimi | August 5, 2010 at 11:28 pm
WTF were mark wahlberg. And robert downey jr doing up in this hot mess! ?
Lmao off at the shoe tossing bit!
rfbranch | August 6, 2010 at 10:06 am
Is there any way we can make our network news this entertaining? Can someone please provide a translation of the narration? I LOVE this thing
Sardonic | August 6, 2010 at 10:45 am
It’s great to finally see Lindsay in a role where she is able to show off the depth of her acting abilities. She looks really good. I look forward to the sequel.
Engorged_Rodney | August 10, 2010 at 4:42 pm
That shit is so funny.