Lindsay Lohan Hit Another Person With Her Car

“I’ve struck again! BAHAHA- Wait, what do you mean it wasn’t a baby?”

Because she’s clean and sober now and hates going out, Lindsay Lohan was trying to leave a club last night only to get “startled by the paparazzi” and clip the manager in the leg with her car. Naturally this new and responsible Lindsay stopped and exchanged insurance information after contacting the police, except HAHAHA, of course, she didn’t. She fled the fucking scene. TMZ reports:

We’re told she was driving out of the parking lot when she was blocked by paparazzi and bystanders around the nearby Hookah Lounge.
Lindsay made contact with the manager of the Hookah Lounge with her car and then peeled out.
Cops were called, came to the scene, interviewed people inside the Hookah Lounge — including the manager who was lightly struck — and then left.

Now, in Lindsay’s defense, this story is constantly changing. In one update, she’s the one who called the police. In another, this dude is suddenly injured and in the ER after saying it was fine. It’s all convoluted except for the part where she definitely connected a moving vehicle with another human being because she’s goddamn death behind the wheel. Which is why around noon today I expect the California judicial system to award her a medal for Outstanding Achievement in Motor Safety unless, of course, it gets held up at the engravers because they’re making sure the diamonds spelling her name are cut just right. Otherwise, you might as well piss in her eye.

Photos: Splash News