Lindsay Lohan’s Suing ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Now

December 3rd, 2013 // 37 Comments
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Despite a busy schedule of taking selfies of her vadge, Lindsay Lohan somehow found time to threaten to sue the makers of Grand Theft Auto V for allegedly using her likeness without permission. A claim that makes no fucking sense to anyone who’s played the game. TMZ reports:

So the question … did ‘GTAV’ really use Lindsay. Here’s the evidence:
— The video game cover shows a woman holding a cellphone who looks Lindsay-ish. There’s been debate over whether it looks more like Kate Upton or Shelby Welinder.
— Part of the game features a mission where a Lindsay Lohan look-alike asks the player to take her home and escape the paparazzi.
— Another part of the game shows another Lindsay-like character at a hotel resembling the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood — a place Lindsay not only frequents but once lived at — and the mission is to photograph her having sex on camera.

Let me just shoot all this shit down:

1. Rockstar confirmed the bikini girl on the cover is Shelby Welinder months ago, and not a single person thought that chick was anyone but Kate Upton.

2. The celebrities in the game are an amalgamation of parody caricatures with no specific real-world counterparts. Beep boop bop, I talk like a robot.

3. The actress you photograph having sex at the game’s version of Marmont is getting banged in the ass and not performing fellatio. Also, no money is exchanged, so clearly not Lindsay.

That said, there was a part in the game when my character was stopped at a red light when a rogue SUV plowed into the back of me at full speed before fleeing the scene, and my immediate reaction was, “Holy shit, Lindsay Lohan’s in this game.” But then I realized my character wasn’t holding a baby, so that can’t be right. *bangs gavel* Cases dismissed!

NOTE: Here’s the full version of the Instagram pic above in case you want to see 1/27th of Lindsay’s nip.

Lindsay Lohan Nipple Instagram

Photos: Instagram


  1. cc

    Ah yes…another rung in the career ladder. Filing nuisance lawsuits.

  2. Shelby Welinder tweeted this out the other day. I think she just copypasta’ed it, but nonetheless….

    “Just because the game has illegal drugs and all the worst west coast stereotypes does not mean you’re in it @lindsaylohan.” Best so far!”

  3. JC

    Later generations of lawyers will look back in amazement, realizing this is the first time a D-list celebrity actually tried to claim the very concept of hotel blowies for coke could be someone’s intellectual property.

  4. anonymous

    My coworker stunk up the executive bathroom last week. I joked about it smelling worse than Lindsay Lohan’s bedroom post-sex.

    I got the lawsuit summons the other day.

  5. Deacon Jones

    There’s a side by side comparison on Google of a Kate Upton pic, its dead on, no way its that Shelby chick.

    But to be honest, I think they definitely used her as an example for that paparazzi bike chase thing.

    I havent played GTA in a while since BF4 and COD. I keep playing COD, even though I dont like it that much (read: Infinity Ward dropped the ball again, just like MW3). Its like that one ugly girl in school you keep having sex with, you just keep playing wishing it was something else.

  6. Didn’t she do this stunt before when she sued some company over a milkaholic baby in a commercial?

    She should sue my grandmother because granny obviously stole her trademarked saggy ass tits.

  7. jep

    “3. The actress you photograph having sex at the game’s version of Marmont is getting banged in the ass and not performing fellatio. Also, no money is exchanged, so clearly not Lindsay.”

    Best laugh I’ve had all day. Of course, I’ve only been awake for an hour, but still…

  8. Lindsay might be a piece of shit, but let’s face it, it is her that they are portraying, especially with the whole Chateau Marmont thing and the cover chick is clearly meant to be Kate Upton. I am sure the clever little lawyers just used that other chick so they could get out of paying Kate Upton in an eventual lawsuit.

  9. If she continues to employ the esteemed Mark Heller esquire this suit is sure to result in a settlement of millions. For Rock Star.

  10. Frank Burns

    In GTA5, are there any fat slobs switching between online porn sites and gossip sites when they should be working? If so, we should all join up for a class action suit.

  11. privacy cunt 1

    If Rockstar Games had their character:
    -stealing necklaces & fur coats
    -falling down durnk in a cactus
    -throwing empty glasses at people
    -getting banned from hotels
    -getting banned from a foreigen country
    -having lesbian sex with a social-climbing dyke
    -gets frequent flyer points for being in rehab
    -is being persued by the IRS

    in addition to running over babies in strollers, I’d stay our freckled face milk-a-holic might have a point. However, I never noticed any such situation in GTA [only in Lindsay's life].

  12. mike

    God she’s looks old…

  13. JimBB

    She’s suing them for $50 million, or the equivalent amount of cocaine and adderall.

  14. “Wait a minute? A loose representation of someone whoring around in a seedy drug den where you can rent rooms? That has to be me! You can only do it so many times before it becomes inevitable!”

  15. Soon she’ll be suing random crackheads on the street. She already sued Rob Ford.

  16. Jade

    Does she even remember what it means to have a real job? Frivolous lawsuits don’t count as a job.

  17. I can see the Kate Upton argument, but to my eyes, the cover chick looks a lot like Erika Christensen

  18. Lindsay Lohan Panties Nipple Selfies
    Commented on this photo:

    um, ok??

  19. Aggie

    I enjoy that she thinks she owns the celebrity experience.

  20. wtf

    Eww, why does her breast crease at the side? You can even tell from that angle that they’re saggy.

  21. A little off topic but I just realized that there aren’t 2 breasts in the picture. It’s her left breast and her left arm. It really looked like 2 weird floppy boobs for a while there.

  22. Lindsay Lohan Panties Nipple Selfies
    Commented on this photo:

    She is taking selfless in her dealer’s crack den

  23. Lindsay Lohan Panties Nipple Selfies
    Commented on this photo:

    every whore on the internet has this selfie

  24. Lindsay Lohan Panties Nipple Selfies
    Commented on this photo:

    well, someone has to want to take her pic……i guess.

    still love to make stew in her pot while it’s around, though.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Panties Nipple Selfies
    some black dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I cant lie. I still want in there

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