Speaking of children who have no business existing, while Lindsay Lohan spent yesterday in court watching her new lawyer perform such dazzling legal maneuvers as “This here’s my lucky rabbit’s foot” and “Lookin’ beautiful today, ya honah,” (No really.), her dad was learning that 8,567 kicks to the vagina still isn’t enough to abort a pregnancy as he watched Kate Major give birth to the latest bastard that will put him in jail for unpaid child support. TMZ reports:
We’re told Kate gave birth to a son — Landon Major Lohan — at 11:39 AM PT.
The baby weighed in at 19 3/4 inches, 7 lbs 5 oz … and is already wanted in 3 states (kidding!).
We’re told Michael was with Kate the entire time … and even cut the umbilical cord.
“Wait, wait, dad, just a little bit higher with those scissors. Higher… higher… now.”
“But, son, that’s your neck. The cord’s way down he-”