Lindsay Lohan Wants to Bang Chris Brown, This Needs To Happen

Immediately following Chris Brown’s performance at the VMAs Sunday night, Lindsay Lohan fired off the following two tweets, hoping to hitch her freckle-wagon to his star because apparently getting punched in the face is better than sitting around watching your mom drink all your booze money because no one will hire you:

- @ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs
– @chrisbrown wanna meet?

Two important things to note:

1. Lindsay Lohan wasn’t invited to the VMAs, yet Jake Busey was.
2. Chris Brown has yet to respond to Lindsay which is interesting because she’s pretty frail and would go down easily in a fight. I’m talking one punch, and he’s the big, strong badass. Not to mention, people won’t even care this time. It’ll be like a freebie and.. this isn’t working as fast I thought. Do I need to go straight to she has a hidden penis? Because she has a hidden penis- and he’s off! Like a chocolate lightning bolt.

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News