Lindsay Lohan Wants to Bang Chris Brown, This Needs To Happen

August 30th, 2011 // 51 Comments

Immediately following Chris Brown‘s performance at the VMAs Sunday night, Lindsay Lohan fired off the following two tweets, hoping to hitch her freckle-wagon to his star because apparently getting punched in the face is better than sitting around watching your mom drink all your booze money because no one will hire you:

- @ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs
- @chrisbrown wanna meet?

Two important things to note:

1. Lindsay Lohan wasn’t invited to the VMAs, yet Jake Busey was.
2. Chris Brown has yet to respond to Lindsay which is interesting because she’s pretty frail and would go down easily in a fight. I’m talking one punch, and he’s the big, strong badass. Not to mention, people won’t even care this time. It’ll be like a freebie and.. this isn’t working as fast I thought. Do I need to go straight to she has a hidden penis? Because she has a hidden penis- and he’s off! Like a chocolate lightning bolt.

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Salad Days

    Bring back the Lindsay of old!

  2. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    Eat
    Commented on this photo:

    What a great tit

  3. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    face
    Commented on this photo:

    moron

  4. Deacon Jones

    Titty fuck?

  5. I think he’d be more into Lady GaGa, since she’s demonstrated her ability to dress like a T-Bird from Grease.

  6. i’d like to mouth fuck her…

  7. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    wow dissed by a loser.

  8. Venom

    Wow, her career is officially over.
    Loser.

    She was invited to the VMAs by Pitbull by the way, but her dumbass is trying to sue him to make some cash, so she did not go.
    She could have gone there, sat with him, even get on the stage and dance with him during the song and help her career, but the geniuses that are advising her told her to do the exact opposite.

    I foresee a career as a high priced call girl for her in the future.

    • JC

      I agree with you except for the “high priced” part. I picture her at more of a “Dirk Diggler on the skids/handjobs in parked cars” level of sex workers.

      • Cowboy Dude

        I saw someone doing that in a Porsche next to me in a strip mall parking lot yesterday. They could’ve cared less that when I was parking or got out of the car that I could see them. Sound like a good job, no pun intended, for Lindsay to aspire to.

  9. LJ

    I don’t think that even Chris Brown is stupid enough to fall for this set-up.

    Dinah Lohan’s dream scenario:

    Lindsay’s face battered and bruised in all the papers.

    Dinah could even hire someone to do it if Chris weren’t cooperative, ’cause who who believe him if he denied beating the shit out of her.

    Then Lindsay gets sympathy offers for roles in movies.

    It’s probably the only way this girl will ever get work that doesn’t involve Vivid Entertainment.

  10. Drew

    @lindsaylohan Hell yeah girl #donkeypunch

  11. karen

    She’s just a little confused – Samantha Ronson turned her on to fisting, and she heard that Chris Brown is into that.

  12. “BEST NOT BE LOOKIN AT MAH PHONE, BITCH!”

  13. Rosalie

    It’s Babs Johnson, the filthiest person alive!

  14. Manowl

    Lindsay/Chris Brown sex tape with some punching action. Make it happen, Hustler!

  15. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    HAGGARD.

  16. Plurp

    A kiss with a fist is better than none…

  17. Lamarr Latrell

    she should be banging movie producers to get a crappy job

  18. dani

    I’ll start making popcorn, I need to be ready when this happens.

  19. Tyronne Jackson

    I thought Chris was a latent homosexual

  20. BigDaddy

    Her dad beats the shit out of her all of the time. She’s looking for her father figure so she can get married. Chris Brown & Lindsay Lohan it’s going to be bigger then Kim Kardashian wedding.

  21. Chris Brown: I’d hit dat.

  22. Professor Chaos

    I’ve been saying for the longest time that she really just needs a good ass kicking to get her shit together. Chris Brown is amazingly talented at beating the holy hell out of a woman. I really hope this happens.

  23. There was a time when Lindsay would have been turning down Chris brown and now she’s asking him out via Twitter; there’s an anti-drug commercial right there.

  24. Reece

    I’m conflicted.
    The sadistic side of me really REALLY would love to see that happen. Brilliance on both sides.
    The more civilized side says WTF? Stupid doesn’t ever change does it?

  25. Chocolate lightning bolt? LMAO!

  26. Bebop

    Lindsay is hotter now than ever. She’s great as a blonde and richly deserves a pearl necklace. Wouldn’t it be great to snort cocaine off her chest?

  27. pusssykatt

    Is she going bald?

  28. That noise you hear is a million women practicing Chris Brown’s performance in hopes that the Lesbian Mating Dance will work for them.

  29. cutthecrap

    there’s always some white guy in the background saying it all with his “who the fuck cares” act

  30. skuddles

    Okay how big of a loser are you when one of THE biggest losers on the planet won’t acknowledge your skank tweet? Because bitchass dude is afraid you’ll make him look…. bad??? BAH!!!

  31. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    James Katt
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay is starting to look OLD.
    The smoking, drugs, alcohol are AGING her.
    Look how dark the circles are under her eyes.
    SAD.

  32. Normal Male

    I thought LiLo only likes muff. So Chris Brown is a chick now? Does LiLo realize he’s a dude? I wonder who hits harder, Sam or Chrissy?

  33. Normal Male

    Oh, by the way, I’m rooting for the cigarettes! Do you dirty work, coffin nails! Smoke ‘em up LiLo, I got ya in my dead pool.

  34. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    Her career is over , her life is over. She,s just a skanky road whore now.

  35. Lindsay Lohan Chris Brown
    baccusvd
    Commented on this photo:

    check out that large purple purse, with a think metallic inner lining so those store sensors don’t beep when you take ALL their shit and with bag this size you probably could.

  36. OkayYo

    This is very classy of her ha ha. I don’t think he ever publicly acknowledged her tweet, did he? I’d be really surprised if he would ever be interested in dating her. It might all be innocent and she just might admire him, not even on the romantic tip.

  37. John

    YES this needs to happen, Il probably jack off to the article itself saying that they hooked up

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