Now that she’s free of that bitch Shawn Holley who kept keeping her out of jail, Lindsay Lohan finally has a lawyer who lets her do whatever stupid shit she wants. Stupid shit like not flying back to LA for a court hearing tomorrow because she’s “sick” and then being photographed shopping all over New York. TMZ reports:
We’ve learned Lindsay’s new lawyer, Mark Heller, submitted documents notifying the judge she’s too ill to fly. Heller submitted a note from a Park Avenue doctor who says Lindsay has an upper respiratory infection and can’t fly for her own safety as well as the safety of the public.
Heller also submitted an article from the New York Post from January 11, reporting that a flu epidemic has hit the Big Apple.
Wait, hold up, did one of those reasons just say Lindsay Lohan is a public health hazard? I take back everything I said. This guy’s good. This guy’s real good.
Photos: Getty
Hey, The court is in California. That sick excuse may work!!!
Smoking in photo 8 of the TMZ gallery…not to mention she looks like the understudy of Glinda in “Wicked” — only if Glinda suffered from drug addiction.
I think you mean Elphaba…the one who grows up to be the wicked witch. Glinda wore poufy pink dresses, just as she did in The Wizard of Oz.
In her defense, she does have a point about how her flying would be a danger to the public. Though I’m not sure if a massive outbreak of herpes among anyone else foolish enough to use the toilet after her would count as a major public health risk.
I think they were concerned that someone might try to shoot the plane down if they knew Lindsay was aboard.
“Me no go to jail?”
I can haz cocainz?
“Linday Lohan here with a public message from the Centers from Disease Control. To prevent flu infection this season, get a flu shot, wash your hands frequently, and don’t pay your lawyer with blow jobs until two weeks after he’s recovered from the flu.”
Can you also get a continuance in California if you’re just having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day?
Only if your Chakra is, like, totally drained.
The entire California justice system shut down for three days when Taco Bell announced the new Doritos Locos Taco for 99 cents.
Hey! Taco Bell has been trying to do better.
Unlike Lindsay.
“I’m sorry your honor. My client has come down with a case of celebrity retardedness.”
“I’m special!”
“See…”
so she is telling the judge she cant be in court for lying to the police because she is sick.
damn.
just-
damn.
I know, huh?
Shawn Holley must be laughing her ass off.
Doesn’t really matter. Judge would just pat her on her flea ridden head and tell her to go home and take her meds. We will meet on a more convenient day. slug
Some jail time is the exact thing that she needs. It’s the perfect thing to get rid of her snotty, entitled attitude.
by ‘jail time’ I’m assuming you really meant ‘brutal, savage beating’?
That would pretty much go without saying in Lindsay’s case. Right?
No violence necessary. She just needs to be locked away in a hole away from all the perks of freedom.Maybe that would give her some appreciation and respect for the things she has.
Dear California legal system,
Please put this fool in jail if you don’t want to be the laughing stock of the entire nation (world).
Sincerely,
Everybody
xoxo
too late
Didn’t work when it was sent to Florida for Casey Anthony, either.
Too much blow causes upper respiratory infections.
She also smokes too much, so much that her voice is rough … it takes a lot of smokes to do that. She looks like she reeks, filthy and as common as dirt.
She probably is a moron but she sure is good at keeping her saggy ass out of jail and/or court. Bitch could get away with murder I think. She can’t drop dead soon enough for me. Sick of her shit and how she gets away with being sucha fuck up
If she is sick and contagious then they should just throw her in the incinerator, problem solved. I don’t think too many people would object.
The judicial system is way way too lenient towards Lindsay.
I just want to see her in jail for one month, and ass raped repeatedly with a jailmade dildo.
In the California Department of Corrections that would be a Volkswagen.
In other news, a Park Avenue doctor took an extra long lunch on Jan 28th, and appeared uncharacteristically relaxed the rest of the afternoon.
I thought the phrase was “hot lunch.”
A cousin of hers died flying with upper respiratory issues.
Name them! Also, too fucking bad.
Good point, Nate. By the way, I have some beachfront property in Kansas that I’ll let you have…CHEAP!
The court will come to its senses soon and apologize and this will all be over. I see a book deal championing her “genius” in all of this: “How I robbed, crashed, and fought my way to a clean record while making the entire justice system look like an ass-clown rodeo of total dumbfucks.”
Looking remorseful: you’re doing it wrong.
“Am I fucking amazing, or what?!
The sincere looks of remorse on Lindsay’s face in all of these photos is truly heart-warming. It’s no wonder they let her go!
What a little bitch.
No, you cannot blow the judge, firecrotch.