Lindsay Lohan Stole A Dude’s Phone Then Tried To Get Him Prosecuted For Taking It Back

October 1st, 2012 // 38 Comments
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For those of you living full and productive lives unencumbered by the minutiae of counting freckles on celebrity asses, there was some hullabaloo this weekend about Lindsay Lohan being attacked in her New York hotel room by a dude named Christian LaBelle who apparently befriended someone in Lindsay’s entourage for the sole purpose of getting pics of her. Except knowing Lindsay like I do, this sounds an awful lot like her indulging her natural instinct to steal the fuck out of shit then lying her face off. TMZ reports:

According to our sources, when Lindsay and her friends headed back to the hotel Christian tagged along.
Our sources says, later that night, Lindsay caught Christian recording her with his cell phone inside her hotel room. When Lindsay tried to stop him, she saw he had taken over 50 photos and videos and had been emailing them to friends.
According to our sources, Lindsay is not badly hurt — no bruises, but a few scratches — and plans on cooperating with police fully so Christian can prosecuted for the alleged attack.

So Lindsay snatched up this dude’s phone, and when he tried to get it back, she claimed she was attacked and called the police where, wait for it, she demanded he be prosecuted to “the fullest extent of the law.” Lindsay Lohan who can’t even get a parking ticket without calling her high-priced lawyer to blame the meter maid for conspiring against her. Now’s when she wants the law to work. Fortunately, this story has a hilarious and happy ending even though we all saw it coming a ran-over-baby mile away:

LaBella had initially been charged with two misdemeanor counts of assault and two counts of harassment. But the NYPD tells TMZ the charges have been dropped, after detectives investigated further and there was not enough evidence to support LiLo’s claims.

COP #1: So who’s pressing charges?
COP #2: Lindsay Lohan.
COP #1: Oh, yeah, none of that shit happened. Go get coffee?
COP #2: You bet.

The NYPD: We may clip a few bystanders and frisk minorities for no reason, but goddamn we’re efficient.

Photos: INFdaily, WENN


  1. Confusus

    Lohan is still a horrible waste of life and all, but this is kind of a push.

    Lindsay was not out in public giving blowjobs for coke; she was in a hotel room giving blowjobs for coke. Some guy decided to take pictures of her in that private setting, probably in the act of giving blowjobs for coke, and she was right to be angry.

    That doesn’t mean Lindsay was justified in taking the guy’s phone, but he wasn’t justified in taking pictures of her in a private setting without her consent, even if Lindsay was in all likelihood giving blowjobs for coke.

  2. Is this all she does anymore? Get in trouble with the law? So boring. She’s looking good in those pictures. Must have found a decent makeup artist,

  3. Cock Dr

    She needs a daily dose of drama to help chase down the Addrerall.
    One of these bar scrappin’ days she’s going to get her hair extensions torn out, bloody nose, split lip, etc. I can’t wait.

  4. XGL

    I agree with above posters (including Don Zaloog’s rock band name).

    People think that she’s a mess, which she is, but that doesn’t mean they can violate and abuse her. She has some pride, guys. She only gives blowjobs for coke, she doesn’t have sex for coke. Duh.

    She does look better in these pics. They’ve covered the meth face well.

    In all seriousness, I wonder what she was doing in the pics…

    • EricLr

      “I wonder what she was doing in the pics…”

      Posing for coke?

    • Annie

      Everyone around her is either an enabler or a leach. She has no real friends, she needs to see this. Who actually does incriminating shit in front of strangers, especially when they’re famous and everyone has phones with internet connection.

      She just doesn’t care.

    • @XGL
      I’m pretty sure she does anal for coke, but as the priests keep saying: That doesn’t count as sex. Shh.”

  5. VV

    How does she have any money to her name to stay in a hotel or do any of the shit that she does that costs anything?

    She is a fucking joke and needs to go away.

    • EricLr

      She’s doesn’t have the money. The hotel was just stupid enough to give her a credit line. She’s just staying on, Axel Foley style, until either the hotel manager realizes how massively stupid he was or some sugar daddy pays her bill.

  6. El Jefe

    I think she was right in this case. If someone was secretly taking photos of me in private and sending them to people I would have broken their kneecaps.

    • VV

      I would agree if it was ANYONE else but her. I’m pretty sure she begs for attention one way or another and then goes on a retarded power trip to make it seem like people just won’t leave her alone.

  7. logan

    Is this idiot going to keep her putty filled face in the news until the sham of a Liz Taylor movie airs? I am almost as tired of seeing her as her face is tired looking. She is just plain sad.

  8. Buddy The Elf

    Didn’t she die yet?

    I know, I’ve been labeled a dreamer.

  9. What an idiot

    It’s just one drama after another with this whore. She was probably sucking off random dudes for coke money bets, saw she was being photographed & freaked. Since he already emailed some pics & vids to his friends, I’m sure we’ll start seeing the pics popping up at sites like this in a few days, or we’ll see blind items about someone trying to sell videos of her being a cokewhore to tabloids like TMZ. Either way, I hope she’s monumentally humiliated by it, and is forced to finally take responsibility for her actions & be accountable for all the lies she’s told about “I don’t take drugs or drink”. But, I’m not holding my breath on it…

  10. cc

    ‘According to our sources, when Lindsay and her friends headed back to the hotel Christian tagged along.’

    Huh? So, that’s how you get into the hotel rooms of celebrities? Wait until they go home and blend into the crowd? How many people did she invite back to her room? I don’t have much sympathy for her. Can’t she just fucking go home and sleep. Or maybe bring ONE guy home, blow him, and go to sleep?

  11. judgingyou

    How has she not choked to Death with her own hypocrisy… and vomit? Hypocrisy and vomit.

  12. Annie

    The hilarious thing about this situation is that the only reason this guy’s charges were dropped was because of his own connections. How many times has Lindsay been left off the hook because of her own connections and fame? Now she knows what it feels like.

    And drugs were totally involved. I imagine she freaked out because the dude was taking pictures of her snorting coke or something and then she flipped out. Why else did all of her friends flee the scene and no one is helping her out with own declaration?

    • Er … the “only” reason? How about the “the accusations are coming from Cokefiend Stealsalot McAdderall, and are therefore a mite dubious” reason? “Well, this guy, he just followed me back to my hotel room with a bunch of other people, and he was taking pictures so I took his phone, and he threw me on the bed and that’s how I got these scratches on my hands [from the duvet?], and then I ran out, but THEN I CAME BACK [???] and that’s when he tried to choke me and I thought I was gonna die ARREST HIM NOW!!!” I mean, please.

      • Annie

        For the first time ever it looks like the accusations were legit. but it’s the boy who cried wolf, which she had it coming with all these lies she’s told before.

        I’m legit happy she’s getting a taste of her own medicine, and the reason she’s not making a huge deal out of this is that she knows she was doing something illegal. You don’t think her ass would’ve done a bigger drama by now?

      • I’m not saying she deserved to be smacked. I’m saying I doubt she was. Was he taking pictures? Doubtlessly. I can’t wait to see them. I hope he emailed some good ones. Does she deserve to be snapped in her private room? Tough call. I tend to think that’s what you get when you allow strange boys that you’ve known for hours into your private room. Was there a scuffle over the phone? I’m sure. But did he SHOVE! her onto the bed causing SCRATCHES! and CHOKE! her when she came back? I don’t believe that at all. And I don’t think the cops did, either, and I think that’s why the charges were dropped, not because he was some anonymous staffer for some non-local nobody politician.

  13. Little Jimmy

    Tricks sometimes turn violent. Being a pro, and an old pro at that, you’d think she’d know that by now.

  14. BSname

    Lindsay if your reading this don’t pay an attention to those that say you have a drug problem.
    They dont understand. The people at the rehab place dont understand either. You are young. You deserve to have fun. If you feel like partying go for it! And don’t let anybody else drive your car. Its yours! You earned it!. Everyone else is just jealous. Take your car out tonight and celebrate the fact that you are Lindsay Lohan!

  15. Hilarious tweets of injustice from Clan Lohan in 3..2..1…

  16. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob Lady Gaga Perfume Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty double chin ho.

  17. mel

    for the 3 or 4 dudes out there who still find this degenerate attractive, try imagining her freckle-ladden ass for a moment. then consider whether or not they are actually freckles or the result of hot diarrhea hitting the toilet water so hard it splashed back onto her cheeks.

    hopefully, that vision has ended your vision of her as some kind of rare beauty.

  18. Lindsay Lohan Side Boob Lady Gaga Perfume Launch
    Anita Massengill
    Commented on this photo:

    the shit’s gone bad

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