Lindsay Lohan already injected herself into the Tom Cruise Girlfriend Auditions story (Which I actually read this weekend and there’s not a single word about her.), so it really shouldn’t be a surprise she’s suctioning her fire-groin into onto Amanda Bynes fiasco. Via Twitter:
Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far? +
If we lived in a world where Lindsay Lohan wasn’t completely oblivious to the fact that at any given moment, someone’s asking why she isn’t dead, in jail and/or fired, then everyone would start pouring gin into their vaginas during pregnancy because baby’s get thirsty, too, so really we should be thanking her for being a walking bag of fetal alcohol syndrome with tits. Our lives are richer for it.