Lindsay Lohan Is A Turkish Sleeper Agent? Sure, Why Not?
When the video of Lindsay Lohan’s new accent went viral, most people just assumed it was the byproduct of learning how to say “condoms are negotiable” in 17 different languages. Turns out she was dropping a very specific phrase that suggests she’s being paid to spread propaganda for the Turkish government because international diplomacy is apparently as a big of a shitshow as the American election right now, so that’s comforting. Buzzfeed reports:
But something that went relatively under the radar is a phrase she says twice in her baffling cadence: “The world is bigger than five.”
Lohan also used the phrase as a hashtag for pictures taken during her visit to Turkey in September to visit Syrian refugees, which is a thing she does now.
Well, turns out it’s a favorite phrase of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and his allies, who use it to rail against the Great Powers of the world.
In particular, the phrase refers to the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council — the US, the UK, France, China, and Russia — who can set the world’s agenda through the use of their ability to veto any major action the UN can take. Turkey thinks the number of countries on the council should expand — and probably include Turkey, because reasons.
In the not-too-distant future
“Alright, class, who can tell me about why Turkey isn’t a country anymore? — Yes, Timmy, go ahead.”
“In 2016 the Turkish government hired a ginger blowjob machine to spread propaganda across Europe. They were later laughed out of the UN and told by an emergency session to have fun itching where they pee.”