UPDATE: Lindsay Hired Robert Shapiro

July 15th, 2010 // 57 Comments

Lindsay Lohan is so determined not to face any consequences for her action that she’s somehow hired superstar lawyer Robert Shapiro who famously helped O.J. Simpson get away with murdering his wife. Then again, I’m sure even Lindsay realizes it’s a matter of when not if she kills someone that won’t be herself because God thinks he’s so fucking funny. TMZ reports:

Sources say Shapiro, who was part of the team that successfully repped O.J. Simpson, will try to convince Judge Marsha Revel to put Lindsay in a rehab facility and either eliminate or minimize jail.
Shapiro, whose son died of a drug overdose in 2005, has a lot of experience with rehab facilities and we’re told he has a specific plan for Lindsay, and a specific place in mind — a live-in rehab facility in which Shapiro is involved. Shapiro created a foundation to help people deal with drug and alcohol problems, named after his son — The Brent Shapiro Foundation.

Now I get why he took the case. If his rehab facility can cure the biggest drug addict in Hollywood, no amount of money can buy that kind of publicity. And if it doesn’t, it’s not like he can’t have her killed and make it look like an overdose. He’s Robert Shapiro. No mere mortal law can contain him.

UPDATE: And Lindsay just checked into Robert Shapiro’s “sober living house” in a last ditch attempt to duck jail. I hope they have a pool with a masseuse. That’s the only way she’ll learn.

Photo: Getty

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  1. Fati87

    She looks like the most pathetic drunk ever. I want her dead.

  2. Hannah

    Man… her face just looks so weird. I can’t even comprehend it. She looks awful.

  3. the only opinion that matters

    Quack quack.

  4. stu

    fuk that biatch

  5. Richard McBeef

    Huh, Shapiro must be doing pro bono work now.

    also, quack quack

    • #

      The purpose of a modern day lawyer is to subvert the law for MONEY.
      This country is degenerate and only serves the rich. Most of the poor are too stupid to realize this simple fact.

  6. Lawyers are criminally-minded. She is a drug addict and her number one consideration right now is not jail nor getting clean, but having access to pills. A friends rehab sure sounds like a way to do that. Especially one that is known for keeping the darkest of secrets (OJ murdering wife) or who you can blackmail in the media.

    Shapiro sounds like a scumbag who is trying to make up too late with a foundation for his son for his neglectful parenting.

    Dina is neglectful for placing Lindsay in the line of this opportunist. Lindsay NEEDS consequence. She gets to run away to a fancy rehab for completely disobeying the law? I don’t think so.

    I feel like all we have seen Lindsay do is lie and try to keep access to her drugs. Sounds like a drug-addict to me! I wouldn’t be surprised if the mother is also hopped up on the same types of pills. Wouldn’t be surrpised at all.

    • Romeo Rodreguz

      This is an amazingly astute move on L.Lohan’s part — not just for her current legal woes, but also because, sooner or later, she’s going to end up killing someone (or herself).

  7. dude

    i hope one day you condescending cunts have to live up to the same scrutiny that you hold her to. not saying lindsay’s justified. but definately neither are you.

    • Justice

      I hope everyone lives up to the same scrutiny. Including you, your mom, and your dog. I wonder how much money has gone into the legal system just to deal with her. Know anyone who’s died of cancer because they couldn’t afford treatment? Brings it all into perspective doesn’t it?

      Stupid little girl needs what’s coming to her. Hopefully death so those more deserving can live.

      • Sassyfrass

        Praise Justice! *hallelujarz*

      • dude

        any money not wasted to prosecute her goes to defense contractors. 51cents of every dollar collected in fed tax, to be precise. public money spent on healthcare in america is a drop of piss in the ocean by comparison. fwiw my mom’s already dead of cancer, because of those numbers.

        the people who most belong behind bars are our lawmakers. that’s why ignorant people should not have the right to vote.

  8. Crusty

    Now its up to the judge to reiterate her position and authority over a charismatic attorney who has a history of managing to get his clients off the proverbial hook.

    We already know about Lindsay Lohan and Robert Shapiro. We’ll soon find out a lot about Marsha Revel.

  9. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  10. Remember when Michael and Dina were saying Lindsay was going to die from taking too many pills a year or so ago in those recordings Michael leaked?

    There’s also video from a year ago of some Access Hollywood type show where the ‘reporter’ asks Lindsay is she thinks she will go to jail, mentioning that her father says she will. She looks stunned and says, ‘No one has mentioned jail but my dad.’ Then a minute later she tears up and ends the interview.

    Lindsay has truly been delusional about her consequences. And Michael was right, as horrible and privacy/trust-breaking of parent as he is, she is a severe pillhead who is going to jail and probably going to die.

    Dina needs to be the first one to step it up and stop enablng her daughter’s death.

  11. Mike Nike

    OJ could have had a monkey defending him and he still would have gotten off. The problem was the jury. They all went straight over to his house for the party afterwords. It was on the television of the van taking them straight from the courthouse to his house. Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. In five days. No lawyer will stop it. Time to stop living in false hope and make peace with it Lindsay. Besides, its dyke heaven and we all know you love rug munching.

  12. hmna

    Too bad Johnnie Cochran died. He was the real mastermind in getting OJ off. Getting Lindsay out of trouble would have been child’s play.

    • Frog Farts

      Getting Lindsay off is simply a question of locking her in a room with a 5’4″ flannel-shirt-wearing, tatoo-on-the-arm-having, crewcut-sporting bulldyke and letting them go to town on each other.

      • dude

        lol reminds me of when peewee herman was in court for jackin it at a theatre. judge asked if he wanted a lawyer, he said no he’d get himself off.

  13. tard

    Quack.
    The system is going to be a revolving door for her until maybe she gets it.Quack.

  14. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of Shapiro’s office, while LiLo put on a Golden Globe worthy weepy performance. What a way to play on this scumbag lawyer’s paternal instincts & lust for publicity.
    How long before he wises up to the Lohan entitlement insanity mindset & comes up with a slick way to extricate himself from the mess?
    FYI I believe Judge Revel will not be handling any of the appeals procedures….her part in this farce is done. Too bad!

  15. Darrell

    Tired, drunk, drugged-out, bloated, duck-billed bitchwhorecuntdyke.

  16. Rhialto

    There’s nothing spectaculair about her hiring a famous lawyer.Unless he didn’t let her paid in advance.

  17. jim

    I wonder if he’s as good with defendents who give head, not take it.

  18. lol fail.

    rot in hell you filthy cunt. do us all a favor and just die. im so fucking sick of you.if she was a commoner she wouldve been treated way differently. the system fails.

  19. Do_Freebird

    Why this won’t be OJ II:
    1. This is not a trial, it’s a probation hearing. No appeals, just clarifications and requests. The best he can do is ask. He gets to see Revel, not a different judge.
    2. The judge in LOhan’s case is not an overmathced idiot like Ito.
    3. The procecutor is on the ball, she knows her facts, and can articulate them.
    4. There is no racist detective fucking with evidence and facts.
    5. No one, including Shapiro, can refute any of the evidence. The trial was over 21/2 years ago.
    6. The bimb goes to jail in less than a week. Not much time to do any legal wrangling.
    I could go on, but I just want to see this cunt actually serve time like any average citizen would.
    It has already been verified by not just the state, and the defence.

  20. Me

    I am so in love with her and spank my ween at least once a day to her pics. She is the drunken, crazy, skanky whore from HS that all need to tap dat ass…just can’t bring her home and introduce to mom unfortunately…

    Anal sex with her must be amazing, both giving and receiving!

  21. Kerri

    i’m speechless. how useless can one person be?

  22. Rufus The Cat

    If your son dies of a drug over dose, how does that make one an expert in treating people to stop using drugs? Perhaps he’s an expert in treating them, to steak dinners, and tuition at first rate colleges but seriously! Makes no sense to this cat.

  23. jstuddle

    Johnny Cochran helped OJ get away with murder. Robert Shapiro had a lot of face time in front of the cameras before the trial but had little to do with getting OJ off. Give credit where credit is due.

  24. lerxt

    Humm… let’s see what happened to OJ’s defence team after he was acquitted:

    F. Lee Bailey – disbarred in 2001
    Robert Kardashian – died of cancer in 2003
    Johnnie Cochran – died of a brain tumor in 2005
    Gerald Uelmen, Carl Douglas, Barry Scheck and Peter Neufeld – fell into obscurity

    I’m thinking that this can’t be good for Shapiro – that defence team was cursed after getting OJ off and helping LinLin or LoLo (or whatever you can call her) get off could be the beginning of the end for him!

  25. NobodysSecondCousin

    Seems like a fair trade. Shapiro gets fabulous amounts of publicity for his centre and Lindsay and her broke ass don’t have to pay him. Win-win! Only one problem: sober living ISN’T rehab. If that’s where she went, trying to duck out of jail, it ain’t gonna work.

  26. Steelerchick

    Fat face!!! Wow!!! Now kids, just say no to drugs or you too can be that beautiful…

  27. I’ve been reading this blog relentlessly for a few years… you have provided much laughter too my face. For this I thank you.

    I finally registered for literary comment!

    This Li-Lo/Mel Gibb fiasco is nothing short of fuck me bum bum hilarious. I thought one celeb breakdown at a time was funny… but two!?

    This is GOLD… Run free and be merry. This is the coked up wetback of your dreams!

  28. Fuck off, BLOWhan

    And another terrible legal move by an idiot who doesn’t have a clue about what she’s doing. First of all, sober living homes are for those who have gone through detox, have learned the 12 steps of sobriety and are committed to remaining sober, but the homes have no guards, no curfews, no searching of guests, etc. BLOWhan is NOT committed to remaining sober, as she’s stated over & over that she doesn’t need to go to rehab; the bitch can’t even commit to acknowledging that she has a problem. And, the judge is not going to suspend or adjust her sentence just because she pulls this last second desperation move.

    The saddest thing is, the more BS she pulls to try to get out of jail & evade her sentence, the more it’s revealed how serious her problems are & how desperately she needs punishment & rehabilitation. This just confirms to the judge that her sentencing was correct. Enjoy your stay in the grey bar hotel, BLOWhan; I’m looking forward to the picture of the police dragging you off in handcuffs with you crying like a sissy…

  29. jstuddle

    Not sure why there is so much hatred for her. She’s hot, she’s whacky and I would really love to do her.

  30. music fan

    I’m so sick of hearing about this has been (never really was) loser. She needs to just shut the fuck up and do her time. Hell she’ll be segragated from the rest of the prisoners so she won’t have to worry about some one beating the hell out of her. Most likely she won’t have to spend the whole 90 days anyway.

  31. CrushYouInAHeartbeat

    Lindsay is a waste of sperm and egg… She thinks she’s so fucking special. What a huge LOSER. It’s just a matter of time before the headlines announce she was found dead somewhere from an overdose…

  32. sanny

    Someone told me ___BlackwhiteRomance // COM ___ It’s the place where you can meet your lovers-

    –Meet single,—rich cougars– -rich sugerdaddy, who are searching for their special

    someone.

  33. misogyny_please?

    At some point you have to admit this is all just pretty fucking sad.

    i think things for her all went down hill after her breakup with ronson.
    i like pussy as much as everyone, but way for some lesbian sex to fuck up your life.

  34. 52

    this child is soooo ugly.

  35. guitarguypa

    I don’t think the judge will buy it. I hope she tells Shapiro to have LiLo surrender on time or watch the time go up…

    And LiLo better hope for segregation otherwise she’s going to be a play toy…

  36. Alexus

    She looks like a drunk and she is not aging well she look like a 40 year old woman her face will stop a clock when she really is 40…I’m sure she will say The good life has not treated her fairly. She should go to jail just like anyone else it gets under my skin that these people keep manipulating the system and never get a taste of reality don’t we all wish we could be so lucky when we have legal problems.

  37. GEORGE VREELAND HILL

    We all wish the best for Lindsay.
    Shapiro will help her in legal matters, but Lohan needs help with her addiction.
    If she can’t beat her demons, then no attorney can really help her.
    Get well Lindsay.

    GEORGE VREELAND HILL

  38. dsfd

    was the devil’s advocate based on this guy or what? he’s busy getting oj off for murder while his own son od’s and then he has the nerve to start a rehab in his honor or some shit. maybe he should of been there for him when he was alive.

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