Let’s Try This Eva Longoria Thing One More Time. With Feeling.

November 17th, 2010 // 40 Comments

See? Feeling. *licks finger, adjust eyebrows* A thank you thank you.

Yesterday, TMZ reported Eva Longoria was getting a divorce only to immediately retract their story, leaving a scant handful of people going, “WTF?” because it’s only Eva Longoria. Well, word on the Internet streets is that she is going to file for divorce because Tony Parker apparently Tiger Woods‘d her. Us Weekly reports:

Multiple sources tell Us Weekly that Longoria Parker, 35, recently discovered that her husband, 28, has been exchanging personal texts with a mutual female friend for nearly a year — hundreds in just one month.
She plans to file for divorce soon, sources tell Us.
“Eva is heartbroken by the betrayal,” says one insider, adding that her husband confessed to the inappropriateness – which took place for nearly a year – after she confronted him.
Adds another friend, “Once the trust was lost, the marriage was over.”

All this time everyone thought it was her doing the cheating, but the professional athlete? That can’t be right. Those people never do stuff like this. Except maybe that John Goodman movie where he played Babe Ruth, but I just assumed that was a porno for fat people. Professional athletes cheating… what is the world coming in to?

UPDATE: And soon apparently meant today. Jesus Christ…

Photos: WireImage


  1. Typical female.


    • Sheena

      Typical male. Caught with your fingers in the cake but still blaming it on the woman.

      • McFeely Smackup

        Well, she shouldn’t have gotten 7 years older than him then. If a chick isn’t going to take care of herself, this is what you get.

      • Richard McBeef

        Typical societal influences. Forcing men to latch on to some chick when it’s obvious that we evolved to spray semen all over the place and impregnate a different woman everyday assuming we can beat down the other man that is trying to do the same thing. It’s science.

      • Mikehunt

        Some women don’t like their husbands blinding other women with their “science”

      • Your mom didn’t mind.

  2. ben

    double rape

  3. Photoshop Police

    Younger man athlete, older control freak woman actress.

    Yeah, who didn’t see this coming?

  4. Eva Longoria at the MTV EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Does anyone care about Eva Longoria? I honestly forgot she existed.

  5. “One more time, with feeling”–great enter the dragon/kentucky fried movie ref :-)

    Did i mention who cares about this tramp stamped fossil?

  6. watugot


    Go fuck a man you homo

  7. jeneral

    An unfaithful NBA player? Never saw that coming.

  8. mud butt

    There you have it. A direct contrast between a gorgeous babe (Eva) and a slag who must distract with her tortured cleavage and loud outfits, makeup, hair, and facial expressions. What the fuck is this here? The wonder twins halloween costume??

  9. McFeely Smackup

    He’s been exchanging text messages? The BASTARD! He’s like a nazi, only much worse.

    No amount of punishment could ever make up for what he’s done.

    (do you get the feeling there’s something missing from this story? did you even notice?)

    • The nerve of her. He shoulda popped her like chris brown, prob solved.

    • Texting is 1 letter away from sexting … according to feminist bush pigs around the world.

      Doesn’t spurprise me though considering:

      1. He’s a star basketball player.
      2. He’s still in his 20′s
      3. He’s French
      4. He has groupies hovering around him all the time.
      5. He’s French

      How the hell does this surprise anyone???? I’m amazed he stayed faithful for as long as he did!!! It’s not like Athletes or Entertainers are the most faithful people in the world!!! They just shouldn’t marry. Entertainers or pro athletes that is.

  10. Dan

    I know how she feels :/

  11. Eva Longoria at the MTV EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Katy Perry demonstrating the worlds first invisible chair?

  12. RoboZombie

    She kinda reminds me of a latina Kelly Ripa…Let’s see that belly button Eva!

  13. Mike K

    Now take it back what you said about trusting Texans, bitch!

  14. He’s not just a Texan, he’s FRENCH too!!! Can’t trust the French. Look at WW 2.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      AND? Look at croissants. Flaky as hell and have no business being used as breakfast biscuits.
      Fucking frogs.

  15. JD

    I don’t watch that housewives thing, and I don’t watch NBA basketball. I’m afraid there are going to have to be tits involved before I can care about this very much. Let me know when there are tits. Thanks.

  16. Eva Longoria at the MTV EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have been embarrassing for Beyonce to be on stage with someone who can’t sing. Perry had to grab her ass to be noticed. “Look at me, I touched a girl!”

  17. Yep

    Just goes to show ya…….. it doesn’t matter how hot a chick is, someone, somewhere is sick of her shit.

  18. SC Guy

    Unfortunately, both of these women are the lowest common denominators amongst women. Low, low, low.

  19. Eva Longoria at the MTV EMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Eva looks sooo sexy in that one pieceeee

Leave A Comment