“I know it was you, Mario.”
Ever since Leah Remini quit Scientology, she’s been on damage control with her sister from so-far silent moves made by the church against her like ex-communicating anyone who doesn’t defriend her on Facebook. Twisted shit, to say the least. Except it’s only strengthened Leah’s resolve because she’s not only appearing in public now, but letting the church know she can’t be intimidated. People reports:
“I believe that people should be able to question things. I believe that people should value family, and value friendships, and hold those things sacrosanct. That for me, that’s what I’m about. It wouldn’t matter what it was, simply because no one is going to tell me how I need to think, no one is going to tell me who I can, and cannot, talk to.”
The actress – who was defended by the niece of David Miscavige, the most powerful man in Scientology – explained, “It doesn’t matter, it could be anything. I thought about the family being broken up for some other cause, and I’m not about to shut up.”
Of course, this all sounds awesome except for the fact that Leah Remini really hasn’t said anything that’s worth shutting up about. Not counting the whole missing, probably dead wife thing, but pbttttt. I’m talking about the good shit:
How many penises does Tom Cruise eat for breakfast?
How many of those penises are John Travolta‘s?
When Travolta rubbed Marlo Brando’s leg and tried to heal it with his space magic, that was an elaborate ruse to touch his penis, right?
Is our reality simply a construct in L. Ron Hubbard’s mind? How about his mind-penis?
Why are Travolta and Cruise so obsessed with planes when reaching OT level VIII grants you the power of levitation? Is it because they look like penises with wings?
When Katie Holmes was re-educated, did they steal her breasts?
More importantly, how far did they get installing a penis before she deactivated her shock collar? Will I think she just has a really big clitoris on our first date? Because I’m cool with that.
Let’s say I’m on a slave ship staffed by women locked in the engine room and attractive men with penises, and I order the Eggs Benedict. Do I have to pay for that or does the church comp it as part of the recruitment process?
More importantly, did Scientology grant someone the power to convince Laura Prepon to do nudity on Orange is The New Black? If so, do you have a pamphlet I could look at?
As you can see, Leah Remini, pretty basic questions. That’s all I’m saying.
Photos: Splash News