The Great Scientology War Has Begun

July 16th, 2013 // 48 Comments
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“Your escort has chosen. Representing House Alley: Katniss Everdeen!”

With Leah Remini very publicly quitting Scientology last week, the church has been in a mad scramble considering it’s been widely revealed her reasons for leaving are, oh I dunno, being forced into re-education camps for five years after daring to ask Chancellor Supreme David Miscavige where his wife Shelley is while at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes‘ enslavement ceremony. (Shelly “vanished” in 2007 and hasn’t been seen since.) Since Leah’s defection, former Scientology members have been coming out of the woodwork encouraging current members to start asking questions or at least Google a few things before continuing to believe in a religion where its science fiction author founder claims he was a race car driver on Mars. Radar reports:

“Strip off the rose-colored glasses. Look beyond the surface of what you endorse,” said Amy Scobee, a former high-ranking Church executive who fulfilled various management positions – including at the Celebrity Centre sector – during 27 years in the Church.
“Evil may be hard to confront, but the information is readily available if you care to know the truth.”
Sinar Parmen, the former personal chef to the founder of the Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, said the church’s star poster children should investigate why others, like Paul Haggis and Jason Beghe, chose to sever ties.
When Academy award-winning director Haggis left the church in 2009, he cited how he was “ashamed of my own stupidity, of how I’d been — could have been so purposely blind for so many years.”
“The celebrities definitely need to really observe how the church has changed and note the now obvious truths of the characteristics of what the Church of Scientology has transformed itself into,” said Parmen, who worked at Cruise’s 1990 wedding to ex-wife to Nicole Kidman. He remained inside Scientology for 20 more years before becoming disillusioned enough to leave permanently.
Added Mike Rinder, the former chief spokesman of the Church of Scientology who quit in 2007: “Wake up and smell the coffee.”
“It should tell them something that the church in response to the avalanche of media does not deny disconnection of families or that Miscavige’s wife has been ‘disappeared,’” he added.

To combat this campaign, Radar reports the Church of Scientology has taken such aggressive measures as making Kirstie Alley write mean tweets and asking people to defriend Leah Remini on Facebook. I was thinking more along the lines of alien mind snipers, but lowering someone’s friend count should get the point across, too, I guess:

What’s more friends have also been told they cannot be in communication with her, according to Tony Ortega, former editor of the Village Voice, who broke the story that Remini was dumping the church.
According to Ortega:
“Scientology celebrities have received their marching orders from the Hollywood Celebrity Centre: They cannot be “in comm” with Leah Remini…Members calling the Celebrity Centre are being told that Remini has not yet been “declared a Suppressive Person” — Scientology’s equivalent of excommunication — but she is considered “not in good standing,” and celebrities are told that they cannot communicate with her, and must also immediately defriend her and any of her family members on Facebook.”

Setting aside the fact church members are routinely shipped off to re-education camps for even wondering why a dude’s wife just up and “disappeared,” hopefully this will make Scientologists really think about the craziness that goes on with their religion:

1. Absolute obedience to words written by some guy claiming he was inspired by unseen forces.
2. Constant demands for money.
3. No questioning clearly fucked up shit performed by church leaders.
4. Horrible treatment of women.
5. Homosexuals being forced to pretend their faith “cured” them.
6. Ostracizing and condemning friends and families who don’t believe the same thing you do.

Just think if a religion like that ever got into our government. We’d all be fucked.

Photo: Getty, Splash News


  1. 1. Absolute obedience to words written by some guy claiming he was inspired by unseen forces.
    2. Constant demands for money.
    3. No questioning clearly fucked up shit performed by church leaders.
    4. Horrible treatment of women.
    5. Homosexuals being forced to pretend their faith “cured” them.
    6. Ostracizing and condemning friends and families who don’t
    believe the same thing you do.

    Co$ or Catholici$m?

    • OK I will agree that the Cayholic Church is a huge pedophile-protecting, money-hoarding, sexist, homophobic group of old men intent on maintaining their power, BUT that group does not use Cult tactics like the Co$.

      CO$ routinely forbids people to communicate with their loved ones and even has ships to get people into International Waters where certain laws no longer apply. This is a CULT. You can leave the Catholic Church and talk sh*t about it all you want, try that with the CO$ and you will have a sh*t-ton of lawyers on you faster than you can say TCLTC!

    • Yes…that’s the joke.

    • Lewis

      Actually, it sounds more like North Korea than the Cathloic Church.

  2. PunkA

    Scientology needs to seriously re-think their media tactics. The internet age or access to info has made their aggressive bullying techniques seems very draconian. That approach might have been successful in teh past before the info age, but it is awful form right now. Makes them look petty, vindictive, secretive and bitter.

    They need to learn to just wish them well, and move on. Then actually move on.

  3. Weeblo

    I suggest Scientology hire that Gloria Steinam chick as they offensive weapon

  4. I think most celebrities are too ashamed of being revealed as utter retards for believing in this cult shit to break away from it now.

    Kudos to Leah Remini for being brave enough to do so.

  5. Brit

    Scientology’s no worse than any other religion. They are just so much better at control and financial extraction.

    • They are just so much better at control and financial extraction. —-umm that makes them worse.

      I’m 100% atheist, I’ll skip the agnostic wishywashyness (while acknowledging a probability is associated with anything) but I can at least semi-respect mumbo-jumbo hogwash that brings comfort to people that struggle with reality as long as it is more or less freely provided. Mainstream religion (in the US at least) is offered more or less for free. I can steal a bible from any hotel room. Morms on bikes will hand me a copy of the BoM for free.

      Scientology literature costs $ and is subject to copyright laws. And I haven’t even started on Sea Org yet.

    • jill

      Most people and legitimate scholars consider scientology to be a cult rather than a genuine religion. And more countries than not consider them to be either a destructive cult or a commercial enterprise.

  6. Cock Dr


  7. It’s a cult and sane people should stay far, far away from these nutjobs.

    • kelly

      They really are nut jobs. We have a bunch of them here in Clearwater; they have a big compound right off Cleveland street. You’ll see them scurrying up and down the sidewalk in their fake navy uniforms, always acting like they’re late for some impotant appointment. And whenever you talk to them they always have that that empty, glazed over, look in their eyes. It’s like you know the lights are on but nobody is home.

  8. EricLR

    I’m just surprised they CoS hasn’t yet given her the standard “She’s a liar, she’s a bad mother, she’s an awful person, here is some awful stuff our private detectives found in her trash” treatment yet. they must still think they can get her back.

  9. rican

    “Just think if a religion like that ever got into our government. We’d all be fucked.”

    lol. Great Obama reference!

    • Chris

      Actually they did infiltrate parts of the US government several years back.
      Google ‘Operation Snow White’ and ‘Operation Freak Out’ for an idea of how the Co$ operate.

      There’s a reason way several EU countries have the Church of Scientology, and the Order of the Solar Temple, on official watchlists.

    • I’m afraid it was the Mormons…yes “the Mormons” was the correct answer.

  10. Deacon Jones

    You guys should google the “Death of Lisa McPherson”

    Pretty fucked up shit.

  11. As a nerd I get the “Dune ” reference. IMHO Scientology are more insidious and ruthless than the Harkonnens. How they are considered a religion( tax purposes,cough) and loved by celebrities is beyond my pea brain.

  12. If your religion isn’t about being a good person and trying to leave things better than you found them, all you’ve done is join a country club with an ethereal front man.

  13. Rob

    About that last line of the article; I love you

  14. Smapdi

    “Just think if a religion like that ever got into our government. We’d all be fucked.” – funny, until you realize they did actually try that:

  15. Django

    “Somebody some day will say this is illegal.  By then be sure the orgs [Scientology organizations] say what is legal or not.”
    - L. Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter, 4 January 1966, “LRH Relationship to Orgs”.

    Make no mistake, this criminal organization IS trying to “get into our government”, and have been since Hubbard started it.

  16. Jamie Charles

    David Miscavige is nothing but an evil and better dressed Jim Bakker.

  17. I still think she’s an idiot fopr being in the CoS to begin with, but Kirstie did come out and tweet –

    Kirstie Alley ‏@kirstiealley 7h
    see that white line down the middle of that road? Don’t walk it…lest U be joined by dead animals and blown out tires. Find your own path

    Kirstie Alley ‏@kirstiealley 18h
    thank U lying “news” outlets for thinking I have ESP & write tweets “BEFORE” events OCCUR.I accept that compliment. Ur “sources” don’t exist

    Kirstie Alley ‏@kirstiealley 18h
    lying news outlets. I do NOT care what religion ANYONE is or isn’t. I respect religions & would fight for your freedom as well as mine.

    While there is no proof that she isn’t just saying that to fight backlash, the point is those are things she could very well get in shit for saying by the church, so I at least give her points for that.

  18. Jenn

    Co$ is full of petty, childish,idiots so desperate for approval they’ll give a greedy corporation their money to send them to sadistic QC meetings. It’s Hell with entry fees and dues. WTF. No. Hell should only cost your soul.

  19. All religion is bullshit. Atheism is the best way. I used to be Catholic. One day, I sat back and took stock of all of the things I’d been taught to believe without question, and I realized it was all bullshit pretty quickly.

    It wasn’t even sad, or scary. I just accepted that what I knew was wrong and decided to learn some new things.

  20. Most religious figures seem to have a closer resemblance to Sandusky than they do to Jesus.
    “Fiddle unto the lad, and if he cryeth or sayeth he was abused, you should wipe up thy semen and tell the popo thou wast simply trying to excommunicate Satan from his butteth…via anal.”

  21. All of you have got to be kidding. LRon Hubbard was nothing more that a poor hack SciFi writer back when I was in high school. Compared tp Asimov, Piers Anthony, Heinlein or even Spider Robinson, his stuff was dreck. I had a hard time finishing one book and never bought another. How he actually got people to buy into CO$ is a total mystery to me. Hollywood?

    • You’re looking at it from the wrong angle. There are broken and gullible people everywhere – always have been. If you’re ruthless, calculating, manipulative and even borderline charismatic, and you find a way to offer people reasons for why they are so messed up, tell them they’re special for having suffered, and make them feel it was for a purpose, then you’re in. The world is a scary, uncertain and horribly arbitrary place, and a great many of people can’t cope with that – they want reasons, order and rules, and really just want to be told what to do within a structured environment because it makes them feel secure, safe – and valued. Why do you think so many people are vested in the idea that God is not only watching their every move, but looking out for them as well? So really, do you think people in need of a modern daddy figure are going to give a shit that Hubbard. was no Harlan Ellison?

  22. “All of you have got to be kidding.”

    What did anyone here say to make you think we like L.Ron Hubbard? You didn’t actually read the comments, did you?

    • Dude, like you I am here only to refine my modest ability to make snarky comments. The superficial is the best. That said, I do have some background and history with ScFi in the print format. LRH was a hack with dianetics years ago and his more recent 80′s efforts like battlefield earth were no better. So accusing me of “liking” LRH is a stretch. PS I met Harlan Ellison at OSU in like 1982; one of the best IMHO for punchy short stories.

  23. RitaJones

    No, seriously, where is his wife? Can you murder someone as long as nobody cares you’ve been murdered?

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