Lance Armstrong and Ivanka Trump maybe get it on

October 2nd, 2006 // 101 Comments

Page Six is claiming that Ivanka Trump and Lance Armstrong are dating, although they have no witnesses and no sources and pretty much no reason to think they’re dating at all. Their biggest piece of evidence is, and I quote, “Armstrong is also known for having an eye for hot women and was most recently linked with Paris Hilton.” So sure, why not. Lance Armstrong likes hot women so obviously he’s dating Ivanka Trump. The case is rock solid. Like this raging erection Bruce Willis’s bald head just gave me.


  1. Haroof

    First or second.

  2. fapfapfap

    she just wants to see if lance has a testicular comb-over

  3. PunjabPete


    If he isn’t tapping that he damn well should… That is 100% prime….

  4. BigJim

    Rich bitch little princess whore. I hope he ATMs her while her daddy watches.

  5. BarbadoSlim

    I thought Unitestes was dating Matt “B.O.” Macaugnagay?!?!?!?

  6. TheDarkLady

    Watching Paris’ herpes spread through Hollywood is like watching some kind of bizarre game show.
    “Which one of her former sex partners will infect someone else next? And for 10 bonus points, guess who will get infected!”

  7. I fucked Lance Armstrong. Highly over-rated. Only lasted 30 seconds. Weak.

  8. Some debut for me. I’m sure I can do a lot better. I believe I will stick around. Get it… stick around. I’m on a fucking roll today boys. Jump back… the fag is in the house!!!!

  9. Sheryl Crow wasn’t hot. She is kind of manly.

    @7 -Welcome to the Superfish, Guy-Pierre.
    Have you seen Cock-Ninja hilarious blog?
    Click my name to view it.

  10. RichPort

    He can have when the Donald is done with her and not a minute before.

  11. BigJim

    Which one of Lance’s arms is the strong one? And did it get that way from jerking off himself, or other guys? Or both?

  12. BarbadoSlim

    hehehehehe… #12 I saw your picture and did stuff to myself. I won’t tell you what, but it involved lots of towels.

  13. I am happy to report that I would gladly give Ivanka a shiny coat of man-jelly, without a moment of hesitation.

    I feel bad for her, her dad is a prick, and her brother is a mutant.


    Anything is better than Sheryl Crow. Especially this thing.

  15. RichPort

    #12 – How much did you pay for the twins?

  16. jrzmommy, biatcho.

    Me thinks #12 has to be taken down like Sara-Jean.
    I’ll call in Hopeless_Screenwriter and Angry Ferret if you need them?

  17. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover


  18. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Why is that Brain Embolism? Because I’m the kind of girl who wouldn’t give you the time of day? You’re right! I don’t give losers who sit behind a computer all day and bitch about the world the time of day. Sucks for you.

  19. Brain Embolism

    Sit tight you hot little vixen.
    The cavalry is coming… right up your ass.

    While you wait, read the comments on this thread from post 15

  20. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    And this is supposed to affect me how? You guys are sooooooooooooooooooooooo beyond lame, you know that? Who gets a fucking cavalry together to collectively attempt to make fun of people? You need to go out and get yourself laid, my friend. BAD!!! In fact, I think all of you could use a little bit of a vacation. Your lives must be really unsatisfying if this is what you have to do to get your kicks.

  21. Brain Embolism

    #20 – …and pay close attention to what jrzmommy, RichPort, Hopeless_Screewriter, and Angry Ferret said.
    They made poor Sarah-Jean cry to her mommy. If I remember correctly, she was twenty also.
    Be thankful you only linked a few pictures and not a complete blogsite.

    I kind of feel sorry for you.

  22. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Let me start out by being you!

    I’m a worthless 20 year old who somebody at one time said I was hot.
    Now I go on stupid celbrity blogs and pick fights.

    It’s that easy!

    (Sorry Tranny, I had to do it)

  23. vargagirl


    Oh look! We have a pretty little whore who thinks she is better than everyone else. Hmmm, sounds like what we make fun of everyday on the superficial. What the hell are you thinking posting a comment like that with pictures!! HAHAHA..

    I can just picture her at home looking through her pictures. Here is one where I am prettier than the other girl, oh and this one there is a guy who likes me. People like me, dammit! Cause I am pretty.They are going to be so jealous!

  24. Hopleless_Screenwriter

    Good call. The best way to beat a goat-fucking satyr nymph is to become just like them. Like me for example. I like to eat goat ass. Sure it smells fucking awful, but it gets me in shape for my pig boyfriend. I get laid all the time, because I have no standards whatsoever. Throw a burlap sack on me and fuck away. I’m a maggot. I’m lifes garbage. I’m a big bucket of pig-shit. Eat-me, Bite-Me, Suck-me, Flush me!!!!

  25. Hopleless_Screenwriter

    Are you referring to me, because if you are you’ve hit the nail on the head. Especially the part about having no standards. I beg to be raped. I walk everywhere backwards like a cat in heat.

  26. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    You people have serious problems. There is no way any of you can ever be as good looking as me. And all you do all day is sit in front of the computer pulling your puds, while us real people actually go outside and try to meet people.

  27. BarbadoSlim

    I can already tell this thread is gonna ooze class…rock on!!

  28. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Check the pics. Basque in my wonderful beauty. Dream of becoming me, and know that everyday I wake up thanking God I am not like you.

  29. Brain Embolism

    Hopeless_, I think we should do a page on YOUR blog especially to ‘This is a Rock ‘n Roll Takeover’… if you get my meaning.

  30. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Do your best freaks.

  31. vargagirl

    shallow Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[shal-oh] lacking depth; superficial: a mind that is not narrow but shallow

    conceited/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhn-see-tid]having an excessively favorable opinion of one’s abilities, appearance, etc.

    Main Entry: shallow
    Part of Speech: adjective 2
    Definition: unintelligent
    Synonyms: cursory, empty, empty-headed, farcical, featherbrained, flighty, flimsy, foolish, frivolous, frothy, half-baked*, hollow, idle, ignorant, inane, lightweight, meaningless, paltry, petty, piddling, puerile, simple, sketchy, skin-deep*, slight, superficial, surface, trifling, trivial, uncritical, unthinking, vain, wishy-washy*

    Sound like anyone you know?

  32. This idiot isn’t worth it. She is no Sarah Jean.

  33. Brain Embolism

    @33- It sounds like This is a Rock ‘n Roll Takeover in a nutshell

    Hold tight vargagirl, help is on the way.

    (Don’t you leave either Rock’n Roll.)

  34. krisdylee

    Christ, who fucking cares???

  35. Brain Embolism

    Hopeless- stick around, Tranny, and Stallion may show up.

  36. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @36 Krisdylee: I heard you’ve never taken it in the ass. I that true. I’m shocked.


  37. RichPort

    I expect to see R&R grabbing my crisp dollar bill with her tits in about two hours. Then she can ask me to buy her a drink as she tells me she only strips to feed her eight year old daughter. “I’d do anything for her” she’d say, as I slowly unzip and firmly direct her head already open mouth toward my fly. Worst $6 I ever spent…

  38. Hopeless_Screenwriter

    @37 I think she got scared and took off. It’s cool. I couldn’t see any of her pics anyway.

  39. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    You fat tub of shit couldn’t have me for all the money in the world. I would never go with someone who spends their whole life in front of a computer.

  40. vargagirl


    Aren’t you in front of a computer right now? Just askin..

  41. BarbadoSlim

    I can still see them, and while we are on the subject..

    FAP FAP FAP fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfaaaapfaaap

  42. BarbadoSlim


  43. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Oh my it’s the attacck of the ugly people. What to do what to do. Envy me. I am a maneater. I can have whatever I want, whenever I want. Bow to me you mere mortals. Dream of these lips being within feet of you as you pass out at my feet.

  44. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    What the fuck is fapfapfapfap supposed to mean?

  45. krisdylee

    Nope, never been up the chocolate highway of love…

    I do, however, squirt like a porn star.

  46. Brain Embolism

    He’s doing what you want him to do to your photo’s, he’s expelling man juice.

    (Beating off to your skanky image you ignorant, naive thing)

  47. krisdylee

    Rock n’ Roll:

    You, my dear, are a dime a dozen. All I can see in those pictures: egotistical, vain, fake n’ baked, phony nails, (which, BTW, can harbour all sorts of nasties, germies, cooties and fecal bits), and a suspiciously phony lookin’ rack. I see nothing different in you that isn’t in all these 20 year olds who’s main purpose in life is how they look.

    Come talk to me in 15 years, when you’ve actually learned a thing or two, not only of yourself, but of the world.

  48. RichPort

    #45 – I’m the guy at the nudist beach that can hold a dozen donuts and a cup of coffee in each hand. I’m pretty sure you’re the chick who can eat the last donut.

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