Lady Gaga: ‘Living in Hollywood is Like Doing Kegels’

April 13th, 2011 // 97 Comments

Lady Gaga appears in the Fashion Issue of Harper’s Bazaar where along with decrying plastic surgery as “promoting insecurity” – Because eating disorders are so much better. – she also described moving to LA which is apparently like the tightening and un-tightening of a woman’s vagina:

“I had all these number-one records, and I had sold all these albums, and it was sort of this turning point: Am I going to try and embrace Hollywood and assimilate to that culture?” Suffice to say, it didn’t work out. “I put my toe in that water, and it was a Kegel-exercise vaginal reaction where I clenched and had to retract immediately.”

On top of that, she also posed for a photo with five teats because she hates erections and never wants me to have one again. Or eat dairy products without watching it come straight from the cow first. *spits out milk* WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? ANSWER ME?!

Photos: Harper’s Bazaar

superficial

  1. phil

    she is gross and nasty

    • Truth Hurts

      This is one UGLY ASS weirdo. This is an MK-ULTRA’d sick minded weird bitch. Every week I here about this ugly ass broad doing or saying something more fucked-up/sick/weird than the week before. Stop giving this devil worshiping PUPPET (and those like her) any attention. Moving rigth along…

  2. Uuuuuh what the fuck happened happened to her cheek bones.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Non- plastic surgery!

    • Nup

      Yeah, she says plastic surgery promotes insecurity, then she goes and wears masks, big ass glasses, and hides her face because she’s insecure about her ugly fucking face, what the…?
      Why doesn’t she just get her face fixed, then she can stop being insecure about it.

  3. Five teats? Ok we have one mutant ready for Total Remake

  4. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I would succumb to that pose…

  5. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that for sure

  6. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Gavagai
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll say on thing for this photo: that look on her face finally makes sense to me.

  7. Lady Gaga Nipples
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she ever closed her mouth?

  8. There are not enough words to display my hatred for this hideous man-bot.

  9. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    which one spits out pink burgers?

  10. Gaga speaking about Kegels somehow makes me think of one of those giant man-eating clams from Jules Verne.

    • Richard McBeef

      Gaga speaking about Kegels somehow makes me think of me speaking about Kegels. I can read about vaginal reactions on wikipedia all I want but without a vagina I can’t truly understand.

  11. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Andrew
    Commented on this photo:

    i don’t understand myself sometimes… i read the article… i read about the extra teets. i thought to myself “hey. i should look at that.” …i was wrong… oh god… i need to go back in time and force a hanger up my mothers vag to abort myself. I AM NOT MEANT FOR THIS WORLD.

  12. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Weirdly attractive.
    Having a good bit of distance between her & the camera helps.

  13. Lady Gaga Nipples
    xhacktor
    Commented on this photo:

    you’ll find this photo in the big book of idioms under “trying way to hard”

  14. Lady Gaga Nipples
    zilly
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a good picture! It covers all her ugly.

  15. Lady Gaga Nipples
    My Name Peggy
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she been to Japan recently?

    • Bucky Barnes

      It won’t be long until she’s 200 feet tall and duking it out with Godzilla. My money is on Godzilla because to the best of my knowledge he never fell off a piano.

  16. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting.

  17. gollum

    I know people like her music, I know she might be a talented musician, or whatever,
    but she IS SO UGLY!!! she is hideous, her boobs look disgusting, her face looks like the face of a transsexual, has to be one of the ugliest girls on earth, I guess she should thank god she became famous

    she is also the true definition of Poser, while you have people like Madonna or nina Hagen who were truly freaks, this spoiled rich brat who had everything handed to her only became a freak in style to become famous, she as a preppy bitch before she started,

  18. anonymoose

    just no thanks.

  19. oblio

    If I wanted to read about/see gagag I would be visiting Perez Hilton. I vote for a lifetime ban on gagag from this site!

  20. The Critical Crassness

    Wow, a tranny talking about Kegels…now that is really thinking outside the egg, Lady Gaga!

  21. I must have synesthesia, because whenever I see a picture of her, I smell shit.

  22. The Critical Crassness

    While looking at the semi-nude picture of her on the mirrored piano, the only thing I can think of is, “I wonder if all the mirrors make the piano sound different.”

  23. The Most Interesting

    Why is she doing Kegels with her sinuses?

  24. Jon

    Just so I’ve got this straight – plastic surgery is bad, but having horns/cheek spikes is somehow not covered under that. Lady Gaga is awesome at consistency.

  25. I wonder if she’ll ever look back and realize how ridiculous she looks

  26. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    When did they decide to do a Total Recall remake? or sequel? Why have three when you can have five….

  27. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    After a night of confused and emotionally damaging sexual encounter….. Cookie Monster couldn’t hold it in any longer and threw up all over the bed

  28. Harper’s Bazaar has finally answered the age-old question: what would it look like if Whoopi Goldberg mated with the acid-spitting dinosaur from Jurassic Park?

  29. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course she couldn’t hack it in Hollywood…..she had too much competition for the crazy…especially in WEST HOLLYWOOD…those dudes dress like “her crazy” everyday and thats coming from a girl who lived there most of her life

  30. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes less is more.

  31. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes less is more, and more is gross.

  32. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Seeing this makes me feel like there’s butterflies in my stomach….no wait thats gas…nevermind

  33. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is this high fashion? WHY IS THIS HIGH FASHION, DAMMIT?!

  34. She was a thousand times cuter when she was a normal, pony tail-wearing brunette without all this shit on her face and giant onslaught of a persona.

  35. Anon

    She is so fucking boring.

  36. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! The Total Recall remake is going to be WAY better than the original!!

  37. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Stevo
    Commented on this photo:

    She kind of resembles Maynard James Keenan from Tool – good on her.

  38. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Jacob Ryan
    Commented on this photo:

    Just so everybody gets it. . . she’s got on cosmetic prosthetics, not surgically implanted ones. The altered cheekbones is just a little piece of silicone that’s adhered to her skin and then applied with make up.

  39. Anonymous

    She is seriously unattractive.

  40. I mean, who needs to sculpt abs (or cheekbones, for that matter) when you can just airbrush them on? Right, Mariah Carey?

  41. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Hank E Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea Alec Baldwin made pianos.

  42. Deryn

    I don’t think she’s hideous. I like her non-traditional look. But if she keeps up with the prosthetics, she’s going to lose me, too. That’s creeping me out.

  43. Gerald Tarrant

    She is turning herself into Kryten from Red Dwarf…

  44. Bluth

    Star Trek called, no they don’t want their makeup back.

  45. Lady Gaga Nipples
    ktulu
    Commented on this photo:

    What is with the dumb cheek bones all of a sudden. Is this the sorta thing that makes her such a “genius” you figure?

  46. Lady Gaga Nipples
    duder
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, a candid nude shot. This is EXACTLY as I imagined her cookies in the buff. Moo.

  47. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Lexander
    Commented on this photo:

    Cookies and milk indeed

  48. Lady Gaga Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo’s like this just make the entire Romulan race look bad.

  49. Lady Gaga Nipples
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    love the outfit.. so artsy

  50. Good for her for the statement about plastic surgery. Too bad in three years she’ll use it as a last resort when someone else steals the spotlight.

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