We Now Return To A Naked Kardashian Already In Progress

*crawls out of the ashes of America and surveys the destruction before him, he raises a defiant fist*

I… will… put stupid shit on the internet that probably caused this whole mess because not enough people paid attention to the issues! HYEAH!

Hello, welcome back. Today, we’re here to talk about sex robots, which are kind of a big deal right now. They even have their show on HBO, and I watch it every week to see which one’s going to become self-aware while its naked stuff is hanging out. It’s pretty great.

This one’s called Kylie Jenner. It was designed to replace the outdated Kim Kardashian model after rigorous butt overloading and consumer apathy rendered it obsolete. Granted, recent attempts at nipple pokerage have been temporarily successful with the Kim model, it simply can’t compete with features like Kylie’s new Naked Smurf Titty setting. More importantly, I’m told her outer shell can withstand an atomic blast, so no matter what happens to civilization, the Kylie-Bot Boob-Thousand will be here to make our pee-pees go twang-a-lang as we scrape our way through a nuclear winter.

The future is now.

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

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