Kurt Busch: ‘My Ex-Girlfriend’s An Assassin, So I Had To Hit Her’

Back in November, NASCAR driver Kurt Busch’s now ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll accused him of violently beating her after losing a race in Dover and secured a no-contact order from a judge. Via Deadpsin:

He was verbally abusive to her and said he wished he had a gun so that he could kill himself,” the documents say.
Driscoll said Busch, 36, called her names and accused her of “having spies everywhere and having a camera on the bus to watch him.” He then jumped up, grabbed her face and smashed her head three times against the wall next to the bed, Driscoll says in the documents.

Except Kurt Busch has a totally reasonable explanation for the whole thing, and it’s that Patricia Driscoll is a trained assassin who’s murdered people all over the globe. So, wow, glad that’s cleared up. ESPN reports:

“Everybody on the outside can tell me I’m crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand,” Kurt Busch said when his attorney, Rusty Hardin, questioned why he still believed Patricia Driscoll is a hired killer.
In an interview late Tuesday, Driscoll called Busch’s assertion “ludicrous,” saying he took it “straight from a fictional movie script” she has been working on for eight years and that he has proofread.

Now, before you go jumping to conclusions, Kurt Busch has some extremely credible anecdotes that you should probably listen to first:

He recounted one time when the couple was in El Paso, Texas. He said Driscoll left in camouflage gear only to return later wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered with blood.
A day earlier, Busch said his ex-girlfriend told him she was a mercenary who killed people for a living and had shown him pictures of bodies with gunshot wounds. … Driscoll also asserted that she was a trained assassin for the U.S. government and once told him, “I take down foreign governments. I own Washington.”

As for how a NASCAR driver was somehow able to successfully attack an unstoppable killing machine who can cripple entire governments in time for dinner, Kurt Busch doesn’t say, but Patricia Driscoll’s also a woman, so she was probably on her period. He’ll probably go with that.

h/t IDLYITW

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