July 25th, 2012 // 96 Comments
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Christian Bale being awesome might’ve torn a massive hole in the Internet yesterday, but that’s (sadly, so very, very sadly) nothing compared to the latest news that Kristen Stewart allegedly cheated on Robert Pattinson with Snow White and The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders who also happens to be married. Whoops. People reports:

Kristen is absolutely devastated,” says one source. “It was a mistake and a complete lapse in judgment.”
The hookup with Stewart’s Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders occurred recently, the source says.
“She wasn’t having an affair with Rupert. It was just a fleeting moment that shouldn’t have happened,” says the source. “She never meant to hurt anyone. She’s a good person who just made a bad choice.”
A rep for Sanders, who is married and has two children, could not be reached for comment. A rep for Stewart had no comment.

I can already see where this is going, so let me be the first to caution against jumping to conclusions and blaming Kristen Stewart’s implants. Yes, they made her more attractive and exciting to be around and she’ll probably get married way faster than women without them, but that doesn’t mean they generated some sort of sexy husband-stealing field. That’s just a myth. A legend if you will.

UPDATE: Apparently Us Weekly has photos of Kristen cheating, so remember this, dear readers, as the day the SparkleCock was dimmed, never to shine so bright again.

UPDATE: And she just released a statement admitting the whole thing. JESUS.

Photo: Ivon-F Filho/AKM-GSI


  1. No Standards

    I never thought she was hot at all until she got boobs.

  2. tlmck

    I did not know you could cheat on a fake relationship.

  3. Hellyeah

    This is the greatest day of my life. Serves him right for being gay and English (as if they’re not the same thing).

  4. I don’t think Robert Pattinson gives a fuck. He’s too busy buttfucking Tayly Lautner. But Kristen fucked up. How did she not know this dude was married? Never have sex with married guys, nothing good comes of it.

    On a side note: Never get married. Nothing good comes of it.

  5. VAnne

    I’ve seen the magazine. They’re all over each other. In one picture it looks like he’a going down on her inside the car. She has this huge smile. Of course it’s an affair and it happened before. How can someone be that stupid? Say goodbye to the Snow White sequels, and be ready for people to really hate you.

    Say what you want about Robert Pattinson, that he’s a bad actor, cheesy, WHATEVER. But he’s a nice guy. Everyone who meets him likes him. He’s not some Hollywood douche. He rarely parties even.

    And from her interviews you could always tell she was a huge cunt. Vapid, immature, dumb.

    Total rock bottom. And while some Twihards are in denial, it’s the majority she’s turning against herself. Fucking yikes. You’re in danger girl.

    • YoMamma

      You lost me at “she had a huge smile”

      • VAnne

        Dude, the smile she never wore with Robert, the smile she never showed to people is the one she had while this douche was nuzzling her neck. it’s just disgraceful. Literally no one likes, she was just starting to have her own fans and now she shits all over the future she had as someone with really no real talent or great looks.

        And a married guy? it’s just disgusting.

    • EricLr

      Let’s face it, her career was already slated to end the second the Twilight movie series does. She was already destined to joined Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, et. al. in the “One-role-wonders/Where are they now?” pantheon of young, washed-up actors. Nothing she does now is going to change that either way.

      • Nan

        Please don’t put Radcliffe or Watson to same category than her. They deserve better (and are not doing bad at all).

      • Yeah, where was Daniel Radcliffe all last year? Oh, that’s right—starring on Broadway in the revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. This site even had pictures of him outside the theater signing autographs and stuff. I’d really like people to know what the hell they’re talking about before they start spouting off here.

      • EricLr

        Wow, seriously that’s your argument? Daniel Radcliffe is still a mega star because he’s doing some show on Broadway?

      • EducatedBogan

        There’s also that Woman in Black movie that was relatively popular recently.

        Young Danny is branching out from Harry Potter, and rightly so. Riding those coat tails forever would be a huge mistake.

      • You’re right, EricLr, my bad. Starring in a hit Broadway musical revival doesn’t count for anything anymore. I suppose if you think he’s washed up, a mere year after the Harry Potter films ended, he’ll have to live with that. That, and his $85 million.

    • Star

      Hate her? Are we foregtggin hoe famous and rich the biggest homewreckers of all time are. JLO, Jolie, Julia Roberts. Some charity work and everyone will have forgotten by tomorrow

  6. EricLr

    “It was just a fleeting moment that shouldn’t have happened”

    Translation: Some horndog old director seduced my ditzy ass, then stopped calling the second he added me to his “dumb slut actresses I’ve banged” trophy wall.

  7. She seems like an okay girl. Hopefully, one day, she’ll get to have sex with an unmarried, heterosexual man.

  8. Was never a fan of her, cant say I am surprised.

  9. Shasta

    When I sleep with married men twice my age while having a “boyfriend” and a paparazzi following, I also go with the backseat of a car in broad daylight. Not retarded at all.

  10. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t normally give her a second glance but HELLOOOO!

  11. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I have somewhere you can put that finger ma petite pute…

  12. JC

    “It was totally a mistake,” said a dead-faced KStew. “I tripped and my vagina fell right onto his dick. Then I had to bounce up an down for a while to escape.”

  13. Y’know, these stories only further the lie that Kristen Stewart is heterosexual. She’s getting her implants bounced around by some hot lipstick lesbian or crew-cutted gal in flannel … but definitely not a man.

    • seriouslynow

      If she was caught with Charlize Theron I might actually believe it. I saw the way they were eye-fucking eachother.

  14. Devilish Diva

    This explains why someone as plain looking and untalented as Kristen got cast as Snow White: she was banging the director.
    Also, breast implants are gross. Those are my 2 cents.

    • Agree, they are turn off.

      In a better world, abortion doctors wouldnt have to live in fear. Instead, angry men would all be protesting outside the plastic surgeon’s clinics. Same goes for doctors who perform breast reductions. It’s in the bible.

  15. YoMamma

    I still don’t think she has implants – looks like a push up bra with cutlets to me. If she waisted money on those tiny titties, she overpaid.

  16. anonym

    I told you that smile was a result of getting laid.

    Looks like she fucked the director to secure a job……… as if she weren’t filthy rich enough already.

  17. Beaver Underground

    A stuck up, condescending, arrogant twat would cheat on her boyfriend? Next thing you know you ask for croutons they bring you crackers. I don’t want to live in this world anymore!

  18. youraggravationmakesmesmile

    My favorite part of this is the US Weekly link, where you can find their presumably award winning expose/gallery of “Kristen Stewart’s Grumpiest Faces”. 11 pictures, one face. It has legitimately made my morning. Best bitch face in the world.

    So good.

  19. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    It may be just my kinky, twisted sexual perversion but she looks hotter since I know she’s a huge slut.

  20. DeucePickle

    What did you expect? Her gay boyfriend isn’t going to touch her, so she found someone that would.

  21. cc

    “She never meant to hurt anyone. She’s a good person who just made a bad choice.”

    She slipped and fell on his cock.

  22. Cock Dr

    One of the sacred sparkle couple members has apparently gotten a taste for seedy backseat heterosexuality, which will likely present big problems for maintaining the that happy sparkle couple illusion.
    *big smile*

  23. Jill

    The final Twilight movie somes out soon, no? This, along with the rest of their fake relationship, is only to drum up publicity.

  24. mike

    Not shown: Robert Pattinson in skintight white t-shirt and man-scarf, swinging from a rafter shrieking “WOOOOOO I’M FREE, BITCHES!!!”

  25. HollyK

    If those two can’t make it, what hope do the rest of us have? (((sob)))

  26. jc

    January Jones- Stupid girl, if you don’t get pregnant you’re just a common home wrecking whore. When will young hollywood learn.

  27. Frank Burns

    Coming soon – London, Summer 2012, the Olympics of Denial: Team JoePa vs. Team Twihard

  28. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Bash Manger
    Commented on this photo:

    i totally wanna hit that now

  29. Emma Watson's Vagina

    now all she has to do is get into a car accident and she will be the new Rose McGowan.

  30. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, those shorts were begging for the butt shot. Bad, bad pap! Sit!

  31. She’s only devastated because she got caught.

  32. Bonky

    The only reason guys want to hit it now is because for the first time it seems like she might actually be heterosexual. The faux relationship she had with Rpatz was just for the length of the twilight series. So either this is intentional and the end of them was planned all along or she actually likes dick and she fcked up here. I still think she is gay, she only recently started to embrace her feminine side, she was always so butch and hated to dress up. The dude she supossedly just banged gives off huge gay radiation and his wife looks like her vag is as cold as a freezer.

    Something aint right with all this.

    • Emma Watson's Vagina

      this is not really a surprise. as guess what? there are going to be at least two sequels to Snow White. so from one fake relationship to another one. only difference is that this is the director and not a actor from the movie.

    • Sliver

      Yes, something taint right.

  33. really?

    Kristen cheated with MAN???

  34. Archie Leach

    Hopefully this brings about a massive numbers of twicunts offing themselves which will result in a massive increase in the overall intelligence level of all of humanity.

  35. El Jefe

    I don’t know, I am a little skeptical about this one. Regardless, I never got the vibe that their relationship was…real. There was more passion between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes than these two.

  36. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup she’s still hot. Unfortunate for the wife and kids and sparkle dick but this isn’t something that is new. Cheating happens all the time.

  37. WTF

    How would anyone even know that? This is BS.

  38. Enidaj

    Who the fuck cares???

  39. Archie Leach

    Wait. What the fuck????

    There should already be like 1/3 of the postings being from twi-shitforbrains “protecting” their dear holiness princess kristen?

  40. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Well I guess their relationship has lost its ‘sparkle’ than…

  41. Implants are relationship killers. The moment she got them she was putting bait on a new hook.

  42. Snow White and the Cuntsman.

  43. FanGirl

    I love sluts!

  44. NG

    This girl will never need botox, ever. Impressive.

  45. BlackDudesThoughts

    Damn, I don’t know about you all but I want to be this Rupert dude. How great is your life is chicks like this are you jump-off cast-aways. Sometimes I wish I was a middled aged rich white dude.

  46. jim

    I always knew she was a cunt, with that punchable nonchalant face of hers. That;s not to say that I like either of them but still, he didn’t cheat, why should this ugly cross eyed nonchalant cunt should?

  47. Bob

    KS better watch her back. Those Twihard’s are freakin’ nuts.

  48. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! I wanna fuck her so bad, cum is coming out of my eyes!

  49. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    holy smokes Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she kinda looks doable now. Who the fuck knows why but she does.

  50. Kristen Stewart Cheating Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    4 real hahaha She is pissed that her ass got caught with an old Married fuker…. Kaarear Suicide.

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