Kris Jenner Manages Kris Humphries Now

Because Kris Jenner runs the tightest Sasquatch whorehouse in Beverly Hills, it only makes sense that she’s going to manage Kris Humphries’ career now because that’s what good mother-in-laws with the same name as you do after talking you into an entirely fake marriage to their daughters. It’s their way of saying, “Welcome to the family. By the way, I ate your soul for breakfast.” HuffPost Celebrity reports:

“Kris runs the entire family like a business and that’s why they are all so successful,” a family friend tells me. “Now that Kris [Humphries] is married to the families biggest asset, Kris [Jenner] is going to make sure that she is making all the business decisions.”
Shortly after Khloe Kardashian married NBA star Lamar Odom, momma Kris took over as his manager, negotiating a fragrance deal as well as their own reality show, “Khloe & Lamar.” Things will be no different with Kim.
“Kris is already in early negotiations to brand the newlywed couple today with fragrance deals and other endorsements,” an insider tells me. “She isn’t going to let some other manager with a different agenda get in the way of that. The amount of money this couple has already made from selling coverage of the wedding is millions and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Expect his and her clothes, towels, watches, shoes and by the time they have a baby together, forget it. They will be able to buy the bank.”

In Kris Jenner’s defense, she did manage to transform golden showers into actual gold, making her a savvy businesswoman and also a witch for subverting the laws of nature by inexplicably completing a task that has plagued alchemists for centuries. I’ll get the firewood. “Goody Hilton, take light to the town square and warn others of devilry afoot!”

Photo: Splash News