Let’s See What Bullsh*t Kris Jenner Said Now

December 8th, 2011 // 82 Comments

For some reason people want to know the thoughts and opinions of Kris Jenner which makes sense considering it is kind of amazing her face and lips are capable of speech. Anyway, she’s apparently fired back at Daniel Craig who called the Kardashian family “fucking idiots” in an interview with British GQ. Via The National Enquirer:

“(He has) crossed the line,” she told Heat mag. “It’s not made him look like the world’s nicest guy. The right thing for a real man to do now would be to issue a public apology.
“The easy thing would be to criticize his career now, but our family won’t stoop to that level.”

Yes, it would be “easy” to criticize a working, respected actor who’s famous for excelling at his career instead of being pissed on in a sex tape. The jokes practically write themselves. And speaking of jokes, here comes the money shot via Kris’ appearance on Extra:

Her son and former “Dancing with the Stars” finalist Rob, has been considering going to law school, and Kris revealed which “Dancing” co-star inspired him. “Nancy Grace really encouraged him to follow that dream of his. He wants to be an attorney, like his dad.”

Nancy Grace inspired Rob Kardashian to become a lawyer like his father, the man who helped O.J. Simpson get away with murder. I can’t even put into words how incredible that statement is to me or how absolutely fucked the legal system will be 20 years from now should a mama’s boy who lives in his sister’s spare bedroom somehow becomes a lawyer. At that point, dogs will probably be judges, and we’ll be convicted by a jury of cats. (The bailiff? A hamster with a gun and badge, of course.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Any Guy


  2. Dude of Dudes

    “Id like to see him stuff an entire black penis in his butt hole and be peed on. NOW THAT”S TALENT!”

  3. RJ

    Criticize his career? He’s James fucking Bond right now. Chances are he’s banging Kim and Kourtney right now getting dirt on your family while you bitch about him speaking the truth.

  4. Kris Jenner Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    What a smug bitch.

  5. DoB

    Hahaha. Jesus, this bitch has zero self-awareness. “The easy thing to do would be to criticize his career now.” Haha. He has a tentpole winter film coming out directed by one of the biggest filmmakers on earth. He is James fucking Bond. He is married to another wroking, credible, respected film star. I imagine this is why she has nothing to say. Because there is literally no level you will not “stoop” to you pig. They already have poor Humphries, that goddam mouth breathing dummy, as a homosexual wife-beater in the tabloids.

  6. He was on “Dancing With The Stars”? This word you keep using, I don’t think it means what you think it means.

  7. Archies_Leach

    kris jenner is the face of “this is why the United States is fucked up”.

  8. In case you didn’t get it, “skincare parties” is code for bukkake.

  9. Jack Ketch

    Right, we’ll get right on that !

  10. Deacon Jones

    Seriously, stop dwelling on these ass clowns.

    I think everyone on here is in consensus that they blow.

    Throw up some T&A shots if it’s a slow day.

  11. Cock Dr

    This was the portal from hell that spawned all those K creatures.

  12. Venom

    She has no right to even utter his name. He should find her and slap the dogshit out of her in front of her pussy of a husband right there on camera.

    • Help

      To think Bruce Jenner used to be an Olympic Hero…

      • Venom

        I know, it is sad, this man went from a gold medal decathlete to this pussy of a man that has produced some of the worst and most useless children in the world.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        And I thought “Can’t Stop The Music” would be the most embarrassing thing he ever did.

  13. Jack Ketch

    She’s only made herself look like the asshole she already is, plus 1000. By the way, Fish, it’s “who’s” in this case, not whose :)

  14. Sensei John Kreese

    BS. If people truly get famous for doing nothing, then I should be 10 times more famous than her old haggard ass.

  15. Just a point of clarification. The prosecution helped OJ get away with murder, since it is up to the prosecution to convict, not the defense to defend. They fucked up.

    Having said that. I do wish all Kardashians would be shipwrecked on a desert island where they are forced to eat their own ass to survive.

    • Fuck no, if Kim’s among the shipwrecked, they’ll be living well into the next century. I want them all to go down on..uh, .I mean with, the ship.

  16. Jack Ketch

    Highly doubt she knows what bukkake is, lol. Good one !

  17. Hugh Gentry

    I’d pinch her nose, and smother her with my cock and balls until she stops moving.

  18. Bianca

    The visual of a hamster with a gun and a badge strikes me as way funnier than it should.

  19. Kris Jenner Extra
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whoremistress powers, activate!”

  20. Alex

    Rob Kardashian wouldn’t be able to get the remedials done that would lead to the prerequisites to even qualify to start an education leading to law school. Of course, there’s the money…

  21. Chris

    She does have a point. I mean he’s only the lead actor in the largest and oldest active film franchise in the world. Total D lister.

  22. Trek Girl

    What? Robert Kardashian becoming a lawyer wouldn’t hurt the legal system at all. There are plenty of people who enter the legal field for FAR worse reasons than Robert’s.

    If you think it’s a horrible thing for a Mama’s boy who lives with his sister to be a lawyer, then I have some bad news for you. The legal system is full of lawyers and judges who are/were like Robert, just without the fame, and their are even more men and women who are the children of said lawyers and judges that will follow in thier footsteps.

    Just be happy that Robert might make a career out of something that isn’t about his mom or his sisters.

  23. Jade

    Why the hell does he owe them a reply for having an opinion about them? Stupid Kris.. if you are gunna put yourself out there in the public eye, and make your supposed non-reality scripted reality show your life, you best be prepared to handle the opinions of your viewers, even if they differ from yours. Stupid woman.

    • OAN

      I agree, it’s his opinion and he is entitled to it and he happens to be absolutely correct!!! LOL…What do you expect when you put your private life and your entire families out there for the world to see??? You’re gonna get lots of people telling you just what they think of your nonsense!!!

  24. Jade

    Er.. and why would he owe them an insincere apology? Her shit most definitely -does- stink.. a lot. She isn’t above anyone. As far as I know, Craig is a good actor and a decently respected person. Why would they criticize his career? At least he has a career.. these famewhore kardashian’s cannot separate their lives and their careers.. hence the “fucking idiots” comment. I agree, I’ll run around and tell everyone they are fucking idiots, and I won’t apologize for it. Omg yeah I can’t stand these people.

  25. Edward

    ” Rob Kardashian to become a lawyer like his father”

    Rob Kardashian’s father was a lawyer?? I think it was already established that he wasn’t…….

  26. Donald Trump

    This fucking two-timing cunt should shut her mouth. She’s a no talent and her kids are no talents. The four of them have absolutely NO life skills whatsoever – unless you consider whoring a life skill.

  27. cc

    ‘‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f*cking idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’’

    Yes, Daniel, that is pretty well 50% (or more) of television right now. Nevertheless, you were right to single out the Kardashians, the most nauseating family on earth.

  28. Dear Kris,
    Shut the fuck up and drive into a bridge abutment already, you nasty old twat.

    The World

  29. Kris Jenner Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, Kris, he could of said all of you Kardashians are classy, talented, and genuine – but you’re not. And criticize his career? You mean the career he built out of respect, talent, and hard-work? Not all stars have to pimp out their daughters and make sex tapes to make a name for themselves, you ugly fat cow…

  30. anonymoose

    THIS DELUSIONAL SHREW, who foisted her talentless spawn on the public for personal gain doesn’t rate an iota of respect in my book.

    Praises to Daniel Craig, who is not only observant, smart, and articulate, he is superfoxy and has a superfoxy wife. He spoke the truth, and said what we have been saying, only said it loud enough that someone heard it.

    If anyone apologizes, it had better be kristen mary houghton for having such bad bad bad taste and manners. suck it, mrs. jenner.

  31. maeby

    Best fucking post ever.

    • frcrkr

      I was thinking the same thing. I was grinning or laughing out loud at nearly every sentence Fish wrote. Poetry. Pure poetry.

  32. PeterMac

    Kris Jenner is a pig, mother to a bunch of pigs and will likely be grandmother to a bunch of pigs. People who buy anything that says Kardashian on it are embarrassingly stupid. I wish they would all travel together on a private aircraft and vanish in the mountains.

    • Northeast Pennsylvania Association of Scrapple Producers

      but then we’d all live in constant dread of them finding their way out of the mountains or being rescued! I’d prefer the plane be struck by a meteor mid flight, crash into an active volcano, spewed out in a sea of magma, then the wreckage attacked by a rabid pack of hyenas.

  33. cc

    I am almost starting to feel sorry for the word ‘bullshit’ for having to spend so much time in her company.

  34. Daniel Craig “crossed the line”? What line? The line that divides the whore-dolatry of the idiots who tune in to “E” for a fake marriage from people who tell the actual truth? I’m very fond of that particular line, myself. (Cf. @Aonymoose above).

  35. Tristyn

    This family is a recycled shit storm of moron’s…

  36. Jeezus!!! The stench of urine wafting from my computer every time she opens her mouth is overwhelming. *KOFF*HACK*KOFF*

  37. AM

    You are always hilarious but this post was Ricky Gervais funny.
    I hope that’s a compliment to you. If not, insert any brilliant comic/writer. Everyone follows up with comments but I don’t know how many people tell you how much they really appreciate being entertained by your posts..

  38. lkl

    There’s only one thing that get’s her upset and that’s going after her money. BOYCOTT EVERYTHING KARDASHIANS and that will get her pulled faced goat.

  39. Kris Jenner Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “La la la la la, I can’t hear any bad things anyone says about my daughters, la la la la la!”

  40. Aussie Mama

    Yeay Daniel Craig, he’s only saying what the whole world thinks!

  41. LJ

    Since Mr. Odem is no longer in the future plans of the Lakers is there a Vegas line on a Kloe divorce filing in March.

  42. forrest gump

    well, she was INFLUENT ofcourse?

  43. yigg



  44. freaky

    Enough already. Let’s just boycott these asshats and let them slither back into obscurity. For reals. It’s not even funny any more. I mean, come on Fish, there’s no such thing as bad publicity so you’re only helping them out, even if you’re openlg mocking them.

  45. Lulu

    At that point, dogs will probably be judges, and we’ll be convicted by a jury of cats. (The bailiff? A hamster with a gun and badge, of course.)

    Ha ha ha hahahah.

  46. Kris Jenner Extra
    Dr. Nappy
    Commented on this photo:

    God… That face! She’s like this strange, stretched ghoul.

  47. Kris Jenner Extra
    Dr. Nappy
    Commented on this photo:

    Taut faced ghoul. Better.

  48. Marie_Mary

    I would think an actor of Daniel’s caliber would not even know who the Kardashian’s are. He shouldn’t be throwing stones imo, didn’t he marry his wife w/out telling his girlfriend? Nice guy, uh?

    • totoro

      Well they’re just *everywhere*. I don’t even own a TV set and I know who they are. Because they won’t go away!

    • totoro

      And I’m not defending Daniel Craig, I never even liked him, but one thing is cheating on your girlfriend…another thing is being in a porn movie……let’s be honest: they’re famous because one of them did a porn movie. Amazing.

  49. totoro

    I never liked Daniel Craig. Now I feel the sudden urge to shake his hand and kiss him.

  50. Sean Connery

    Shometimesh a woman jusht needsh a good shlap

    • Yeezy's Son

      At first i thought something was wrong with your keyboard. Then I saw your name. BAHAAHA!! good job

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