Kris Humphries’ Rebound (Zing!) in a Bikini:
The Crap I Missed – Friday 5.3.12

May 3rd, 2013 // 115 Comments

Well, here we are folks, at the end of another week of you tolerating my rambling efforts at subbing for Fish. Thank you for that. I wish I could express it with a respectable bikini photo set, but I couldn’t find one, so I did the next best thing which is the exact opposite of that. Above is a woman famous for being Kim Kardashian-esque in that they both intercoursed the same large, just a shade above retarded ape man, and will now shamelessly whore themselves to anyone who’s buying. Notice the location of the shoot is the Jersey shore because nothing says class like “Alright, can we break for a minute? I’ve got garbage stuck on my lens again.”

Til next time, I’ll be back in the mines, with my boob-axe and pantyflashlight, watching, waiting,

- Photo Boy

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Looks like Leeloo discovered a 6th element, nacho cheese.

  2. He’s white (mostly..?) so you can call him “Ape Man”

  3. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought he dated Kim, not Khloe.

  4. There’s only one thing separating this from Kim: money… Pure and simple.

  5. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Reubenesque…

  6. R.C.

    She looks like a cheaper version of Kim K who can’t afford Photoshop. Did she really release these? I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s totally doable, but was this really the best idea?

  7. Chaz

    She could eat a girl like Kim for breakfast…No, seriously. She ATE Kim for breakfast.

  8. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound casing

  9. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    It always breaks my heart to see whales trapped in fishing nets.

  10. anonymous

    She does look like Khloe if Khloe was actually a Kardashian and not bastard-born.

  11. tom

    Has this beast ever been depicted before in the journal of zoology?

  12. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently the 5th Element is now gravy.

  13. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Q: What does this swimsuit have in common with Kim Kardashian?
    A: They’re both great for rough water sports.

    • mel

      upon removing, the portion of the suit that covers her gigantic stink sandwich is weighed down a thick, pungent brown-coloured paste?

  14. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    So, Crisco is the 5th Element?

  15. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Hells bells! I’d hit it! But then again I am the Elephantman!

  16. Hopefully Kris Humphries stops messing around with smut and finds himself a really nice gal who is capable of being a loyal FRIEND first and foremost and not a mediaHOEHOEHOES that are a dime a dozen …trash is multiplying rapidly

  17. Shepler

    He has a “type”: 40lbs overweight with long, stringy, black hair.

  18. 1.- isnt he a pro basketball player in the nba?
    2.- dont they make millions a year?
    3.- ffs how much is she paying him?

  19. I don’t know what’s worse, fat chicks that don’t know they’re fat, or fat chicks who know it, but still think they’re sexy.

    Wait, I do know what’s worse…this is.

  20. mariebal

    not exactly playboy material. Kris can do much better, he’s a pro-ball player who has beautiful women throwing themselves at him.
    He’ll obviously go for better quality. She just needs to work out, lose about >20 lbs. and get toned to stay in the game and compete with other women who are trying to nag themselves a pro-athlete if that is her goal.

  21. mariebal

    Myla should look at Vida Guerra for some inspiration on a great bikini bod .

  22. As the old joke goes….

    PUT IT BACK ON!!

  23. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    colt13
    Commented on this photo:

    DNA testing? She looks like a cross between Kim Kardashian and Snooki.

  24. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    This man definitely has a type. He loves the thick Eastern European looking women.

  25. brian

    I think she’s hot as fuck and I’d love to spend some quality time with her pooper. That ass is amazing!

  26. He really can’t do better?

  27. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks sturdy.

  28. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Captain Jerk
    Commented on this photo:

    What a slob.
    I see sickness and disease in her fat, sloppy future.

  29. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Captain Jerk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Gilligan Did You Eat The Skipper??”

  30. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Again, oddly enough, I’m kinda digging this look…what is wrong with me?

  31. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Where are her nipples? And what is casting that ridiculous shadow on her torso—ohhh, that’s a bathing suit.

  32. No. Just NO. OK. Now fuck. off. bitch.

  33. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    It finally happened. They ran out of material to make spanks

  34. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    mariebal
    Commented on this photo:

    stumpy tree trunks, elephant legs…..needs lots of cardio and toning…..squishy abs, not attractive

  35. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    mariebal
    Commented on this photo:

    also needs arm toning for those ham hock arms…triceps presses..
    .

  36. Weeblo

    Flubber

  37. Admirable job subbing in, PB – thanks! Oh, and try not to wear out that fleshlight down in the mines.

  38. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll say it, I like his style.

  39. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    SMB
    Commented on this photo:

    …i like my women like i like my sausage: thick & juicy. (no, seriously)

  40. I see the man likes his hippos tacky

  41. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t there an Elvis song that started “Lardy Lardy Lardy…”?

  42. Pugiron

    Kris likes fat girls almost as much as the chubby chasers that run this site.

  43. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Beached whale.

  44. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Ashley
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is my sexy pose. Oh so sensual!”

    “Did I mention I have the herp?”

    “Oh I’m so sexy, oh la la.”

    Herp – even if she were hot. HERP!

  45. cc

    One of those rare occasions where I can look at a celebrity’s gf and say, with complete sincerity ‘I could do way better than that!’

  46. PabloPablo

    She’s pretty hot, but I’d rather see HIM in the same suit!

  47. duh!

    Since when did The Superficial become National Geographic? I’m sick and tired of seeing beached whales on the shores. Enough is enough!

  48. This is the wrong story, PB. This pic goes with the story that the 3rd true Kardashian female has been found and dragged into captivity. Remember, Khloe doesn’t count anymore since she’s a bastage.

  49. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    FAT

  50. Rasputin

    Kris definatly has a type, and I think we all now know what it is.

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