Apparently Kirsten Dunst refuses to uses elevators tarnished by the hoi polloi meat bags whose blood she feasts upon at will because her handlers commandeered an elevator at Chateau Marmont this week and refused entry to anyone lacking a distinctive snaggling of tooth. Page Six reports:
“They said Kirsten Dunst was going up and down. They said nobody else could enter and asked other guests to take the stairs.”
In Kirsten’s defense, moving coffins are all the rage with the Nosferatu right now, all the rage. Why just the other day I saw Dakota Fanning napping in one swinging from a helicopter. Granted, it accidentally collided with a building, cursing everyone within to unholy damnation for disturbing her slumber, but she swears it was like a blowjob to her back. “Fuck memory foam,” I believe she wrote on Amazon.
Photos: Splash News
How could anyone else possibly fit with those gigantic tits she has!?!?
“gigantic?” hmm
Thats how she referred to them a while back. Gigantic.
Ahh gotcha
I’m guessing ‘elevator sex’ was on her bucket list. Not quite the way to go about it, though.
Yeah… I think you’re just supposed to stop the elevator between floors.
I would hate being a maid/maintenance person at the Chateau Marmont. I bet there is just all kinds of crazy shit left behind from these crazy hollywood stars.
They offer a private bungalow that has its own entrance and parking, so you don’t have to be “among the regulars” if you don’t want to. The price wasn’t even that insane.
I always thought she was hot.
Bah, she’s not nearly as sexy today as she was in Interview With A Vampire.
She is pretty hot. Her pokies are responsible for the success of the “Spider-Man” movies.
I almost didn’t recognize here because she looked… really good? She’s one that can do the whole thing where one minute she’s super hot and the next day it looks like she’s been homeless for 6 months.
My penis is so confused…
Yup I don’t get this either. If she had taken a moment to stand correctly, I’d be lining up to say Heeeellllloooo!
She is trying to hold the sperm in. It increases the chances of fertilization.
i’d get her down on those knock knees and let her take the cheese graters to my dick skin.
This is the best I’ve seen her look in a while. I’d allow her to pleasure me in her sarcophagus.
You can have the sarcophagus, I’ll take the esophagus.
I wonder what would have happened if Gwyneth Paltrow had got on that elevator. Surely the universe would have ended right there.
Hey! Don’t give away the ending to Melancholia!
Melancholia was so good.
Actually ….. looks…. pretty….. brain …… imploding…..
Katie Holmes will be the new face of Mui Mui hitting the mags in the spnrig. Johnny Depp’s French Girl and the mother of his children, Vanessa Paradis is the current face.
It’s like she just stepped out of a sal-oh wait a minute, are those snaggleteeth?
Yup she’s been told to hide the snaggleteeth
After reading the headline, I assume Fish cracked open the Irish Whiskey to start the St. Patrick binge a bit early?
(Before he changes it: “ALL YOUR ELEVATOR ARE BELONG TO SNAGGLETOOTH”)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us
#knowyourmemes
Sucks, getting older.
Ha…I feel ya LJ
Yep. At 38 I just don’t understand huge chunks of the internet anymore.
“All Your Base…” goes back 21 years, so if you’re only 38, you don’t really have an excuse for not knowing it.
Yeah because when you see an odd reference on the internet you don’t understand it’s just too difficult to google. Thankfully half the time google directs you to tits.
The way god intended.
I thought the most interesting part of this whole story was that she could still afford to have handlers and “people”.
They only call them her “handlers” because she’s rich. We common folk know them as “pimps.” As in “Bitch, you better give that guy a blowjob in that elevator or you’re getting the ring hand! He ain’t paying $1000 an hour for you to argue with me!”
Remember not to show your teeth. Remember not to show your teeth. Remember not to show your teeth.
Only fat people use elevators.
Oh hell…Stephen Hawking is about to go loco on your ass!
She looked pretty good naked in Melancholia. However, that only makes up for about 1/10th of the suffering involved in sitting through Melancholia.
Even porn has shitty parts you have to skip. And porn is specifically for wacking off to, while Melancholia was for realsies a movie.
Didn’t you know? Due to the magic of the internet you can skip to the nudity without having to sit through the whole movie. There’s tons of sites that do it.
She looked really good naked in Melancholia. Very sexy woman.
hottie
Jerked off more than once to her tits in that movie where she showed her tits. Thinking of watching it again, those boobs cannot be denied.
Everytime I see or read about this chick I get wood.
A blowjob of pure golden sunshine, that’s the promise her beautiful mouth makes.
What the fuck, she’s hot.
She’s got gorgeous hair.
She’s sexy.
what a horrible picture she looks like she is about to block a shot
I’d bang her and Avril at the same time
Her pubes are probably amazing.
nice legs
Am I the only one read, “They said Kirsten Dunst was going up and down” and thought, “On what?”
I like her dildo
Has Billy Corgan ever come out as her brother? Resemblance is uncanny.
She needs to get out of daylight & back in her crypt ASAP, skin is reddening & pretty soon vampire gonna go POOF.
The acidcent of finding this post has brightened my day
someone remind me why she’s famous.
Interview with the Vampire, only reason she’s famous, because Brad Pitt kissed her when she was 12………. there ya go, Now you Know.
I would just say “who the fuck do you think you are ?”
and get on the elevator.
then turn around and say “you’re free to get off and take the next one if you’d like….”
aww she looks so pretty! i’ll always see her as the little vampire though.
Yeah, boobs and coffin sex. But, as far as the actual incident goes I’d like to offer a hearty “go fuck yourself” to Dunst and her people. Fucking privileged dick-runoff pieces of shit. I’m willing to overlook a lot of the celebrity bullshit that goes on. I might make fun of it or bitch about it, but in the end it rarely makes me even the least bit angry. But when people pull that “don’t you know who I am” type of crap. You’re not important, you are a person who is payed to pretend to be another person. If you don’t want to share an elevator, YOU should be the one to take the fucking stairs you self-entitled cunt.
Ok, rant over.
Matrim it is possible that this entire story is a fabrication, consdier the fact that Lindsay Lohan is a permanent resident of Marmont.
*shrugs* Then my rant still applies, just change the name.
She is such an amazing actress. She is also very beautiful!
Yet another Hollywood bitch who thinks her shit don’t stink.
This first pic is the best I’ve ever see her look. Beautiful.
I don’t know why people pick on her, I think she’s pretty. Beautiful eye color and great hair!
I would have punched someones teeth out.
The pretty girl in drssees at the circus thing is all well and good well actually arty and lame but why don’t they just go ahead and give us what we all want? Namely, some really good views of Reese’s Pieces. I mean her boobies in case I was too subtle
She looks mature, non-young absolutely.