Kim Kardashian Just Mowed Down Taylor Swift: A Tale Of Butthole

Last week, Taylor Swift scored a modest victory against Calvin Harris that hopefully she enjoyed before an amateur porn star turned internet butt-oddity named Kim Kardashian clotheslined Taylor on a Sunday night for the entire world to see. PEOPLE reports:

Kardashian West shared a series of videos on her Snapchat account of a phone call between West and Swift discussing the rapper’s lyrics about the singer.
It’s like a compliment,” Swift is heard saying in the video after West reads the lyrics – “For all my Southside n—– that know me best / I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex” – to her.
“What I give a f— is you as a person, and as a friend, I want things that make you feel good,” says West, who also thanks Swift “for being like, so cool about it” after she tells him she appreciates the “heads up” on the lyrics.
“I never would’ve expected you to like tell me about a line in your song,” says the singer. “I mean, I don’t think anybody would listen to that and be like, ‘Oh, that’s a real diss.’ You gotta tell the story that way that it happened to you and the way you experienced it.”

In case you’re wondering what you just read, that would be the Taylor Swift phone call with Kanye West where she agrees to the lyrics of “Famous.” And here’s the real stinger from the full transcript over at Us Weekly:

TS: “And, you know, if people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, look, he called me and told me the line before it came out. Joke’s on you guys, we’re fine.”
TS: “You guys want to call this a feud, you want to call this throwing shade? But right after the song comes on, I’m gonna be on a Grammy red carpet and they’re gonna ask me about it and I’m gonna be like, He called me.”

Except Taylor did not go, “LOL! I was totally in it,” at the Grammys, but instead made a big huff about Kanye calling her “that bitch,” which is what she’s sticking to in her response to what’s now being called #KimExposedTaylorParty. *wipes SEO out of eyes* Is it in my hair? It’s in my hair, isn’t? Dammit.

As almost everyone has pointed out, Taylor Swift had this response ready to go in her Notes because she had to search for it, which according to Jezebel, either means Taylor knew this was coming OR its more ammo for the Tiddleswift is a secret music video project theory that Kim and Kanye are playing along with. A theory that makes more and more sense because there’s no way Tom Hiddleston signed up for this shit. This is like banging a girl for two weeks, and then one morning she pulls an infant out of the closet and goes, “BTW, this is my son Kanye. Let him shit all over you, or we’ll never have sex again.”

But just as the Kardashians had claimed a scalp – and what a scalp it was – Khloe lumbered in and ruined everything by going after Chloe Grace Moretz who defended Taylor Swift along with the rest of her squad that Todd at IDLYITW drags like a champ if you want more of this delicious meal. Anyway, here are Chloe’s tweets:

And here’s Khloe Kardashian’s response that’s especially rich for a family whose fame is entirely based on putting naked vulvas on the internet.

Except there’s one small problem. That’s not Chloe Grace Moretz’s butthole. She’s wearing a blue bikini bottom, which we have an entire gallery of in case her receipts aren’t enough.

So what should’ve been a once-in-a-lifetime victory for the Kardashians has now been tainted by random butthole because Khloe couldn’t hang back and fly the Falcon. So here’s how this win is going to be recorded now:

Taylor Swift*

(The asterisk is butthole.)

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photos: AKM-GSI