Shocking news this morning: Something Kim Kardashian is involved with is completely full of shit and nothing but a massive cash grab regardless of the consequences. Although in a surprise twist, nobody got pissed on in a sex tape at her mother’s command. I almost didn’t believe it myself. Page Six reports:
Partner Scott A. Bursor told us, “My firm has been retained by an individual that purchased QuickTrim, and we are investigating the matter. We have provided written notice of our client’s claims to the company and others involved in marketing QuickTrim,” and his firm is reaching out to other QuickTrim users. Bursor & Fisher has won or settled cases against firms peddling products including hair loss remedy Avacor and diet supplement Xenadrine.
In January 2010, Kim said she used QuickTrim to shed 15 pounds in weeks. Last year she tweeted that she was using it to get in shape for her wedding, and Khloe also claimed she lost 15 pounds.
Adriane Fugh-Berman, a physician at Georgetown University Medical Center, warned in 2010 that QuickTrim contains large amounts of caffeine. She said, “They’re not saying how much caffeine is in these pills. Too much caffeine can make you jittery and increase your blood pressure and pulse. If you pop a couple of these pills with your Starbucks . . . you could get caffeine poisoning, which can cause heart arrhythmias.”
In related news, I’ve filed a class action lawsuit against anyone stupid enough to believe anything a Kardashian tells them because they’re clearly sharting up the gene pool for the rest of us non-button-swallowers. But enough of my quest for trust and justice, after the jump is Khloe and Kim’s QuickTrim commercial which I’m 90% positive will just be recycled to shill Kris Jenner’s elderly lube.
“Do you feel sexy? Do you have the body you’ve always dreamed of? Of course not, you’re old. But squirt this in your dust hole and you’ll feel like my young supple daughter in this commercial as she waits for that man-beast thing to plunder her like a schoolgirl. ZESTRA – It wets what dries ya!”