Kim Kardashian Paid A ‘Mystery Man’ To Walk With Her So People Will Ask ‘Who’s Kim’s Mystery Man?’

February 24th, 2012 // 47 Comments

Posted in response to every headline today that reads or will read “OMG! Who’s Kim Kardashian New Mystery Man?” or “Five Things You Didn’t Know About Kim Kardashian’s New Man!” which will conveniently leave off “has an abnormally sized bladder.”

And what’s this? Renowned Stephen Hawking has something to add? My, what an unprecedented turn of events:

(I swear we’re trying to stop. But not really.)

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Splash News

superficial

  1. Your tongue, My balls.

    I still think Kim needs a bigger douche.

  2. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Paul
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like Ricky Martin and Lenny Kravitz stepped into the teleporter at the same time.

  3. Rach

    Enrique Iglesias sure has fallen on hard times………

  4. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know how common the attitude is, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I install quicktime on my laptop, so all these Hawking jokes are lost on me.

    Not to criticize, but a more commonly supported audio codec might have been a better choice.

    oh wait! criticize is all I do, so BOOYA!

  5. Nosey

    That’s her makeup artist.

  6. My word – Renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has taken this site to profound levels of sophistication. And when I say sophistication, I mean pants-wetting. God bless you and your talking box, Stephen Hawking.

  7. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Gilmore Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    She obviously has extensions in most of the time. When she is on the red carpet her ponytail goes half way down her back. Here, it doesn’t even go past her shoulder blades. Fake! Fake! Fake!

  8. Deacon Jones

    Seriously, stop with the daily postings of this bitch.

    It’s like hosting a late night talk show an continually bringing out the same shitty comedian that everyone boos each night.

  9. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Do_Freebird
    Commented on this photo:

    So Kim is now proving that wearing black does not make you look slimmer.

  10. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Do_Freebird
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimmie thinks that having her face shots taken with her looking downwards makes her look better (it doesn’t). The Paps know this so they keep crouching farther and farther down to take their shots. So Kimmie starts bending at the waist, and the Paps crouch down even more. I can’t wait ’till she starts walking through airports doubled over at the waist.

  11. Cock Dr

    Even the best behaved of large domestic animals needs a handler. It’s the size issue. If she spooked she could do a lot of damage.

  12. El Jefe

    He is white which automatically makes this a non story.

  13. J

    That’s her GAY friend rob scheppy.

  14. Alex

    If you can’t tell that cat is gay as a running moose, you need to visit Santa Barbara more often and fine-tune your gaydar.

  15. Wink

    That dude is both white and his bladder appears recently emptied= no chance.

  16. MarkM

    if someone would like to pay a “mystery man” to stab Kim Kardashian to death, so that people will ask “Hey, who’s that mystery man who stabbed Kim Kardashian to death?” I would gladly chip in many dollars…Just saying!

    • KK-Hater

      I’m just saying I’ll pitch in so we can finally get this cunt off the web on s daily fucking basis. TMZ and the other pinheads are at fault, they keeping making this useless bitch relevant when she nothing but a fucking whore.

  17. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    I can safely speak for the entire world when I say no one gives a shit about this C U Next Tuesday.

  18. Joe Q

    That is just her next John.

  19. KK-Hater

    Who is the fucking ugly bitch walking with this dude. He’s pretty cool looking and all, but I’m pretty sure she’s a SLUT and he needs to take care and be sure to use proper protection against getting some STD from that nasty CUNT!

  20. forrest

    stop hiring those american imbeciles!!
    PEOPLE NEED NO CONFIRMATION THE LA-AREA IS FULL OF CROOKS!!

  21. forrest

    ………..I will enter the scene very soon.

  22. KardashiansONLINE

    Stepping in*

  23. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    anon
    Commented on this photo:

    why do people think she is hot? she looks pregnant.

  24. juden

    Chris Angel???

  25. Stoney

    I t is so sad that Kardash kim has to stoop to such action to get attention. She has ruined her reputation, she is showing that she is a psycho, and the older she gets the bigger her butt gets and the uglier she gets. UGH! She is just a ho and her body has been used so much, she knows nobody wants her ever.

  26. anonymoose

    FraudFace is 3 surgeries away from looking like Pete Burns.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIuokI647D8

  27. KardashiansONLINE

    Naw did my comment upset you? Maybe get some facts before a stupid article? ;)

  28. Tall Poppies

    The funniest thing is that that nasty whore has no idea what real people think of her. Sure, she has millions of moronic fans, but even that number is dwindling. Paris Hilton has all but dropped off the face of the earth (except for that song, which came and went it he space of 15 hrs.) and the same will happen with the Tardashians if we all stop looking at their ridiculous antics. I am soooooo loving that she fucked up the wedding, because she could not hide her true colors. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she will fall into a well and end up like that zombie form Walking Dead last season… Now that i think of it, her giant flabby ass might get wedged in the walks of the well, which would only serve to amplify her annoying nasal whine. Oh, will it never end?

  29. Tall Poppies

    The funniest thing is that that nasty whore has no idea what real people think of her. Sure, she has millions of moronic fans, but even that number is dwindling. Paris Hilton has all but dropped off the face of the earth (except for that song, which came and went it he space of 15 hrs.) and the same will happen with the Tardashians if we all stop looking at their ridiculous antics. I am soooooo loving that she fucked up the wedding, because she could not hide her true colors. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she will fall into a well and end up like that zombie from Walking Dead last season… Now that i think of it, her giant flabby ass might get wedged in the walks of the well, which would only serve to amplify her annoying nasal whine. Oh, will it never end?

  30. It’s her assistant …

  31. tallytastic

    He’s not black..so, I’m sure she’s not interested.

  32. Lovekim

    That’s her makeup artist get it together superficial.

  33. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Beezustunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that Cedric?

  34. SFRowGuy

    If that’s true, how ever much it was, dude it wasn’t enough.

  35. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    okay they will no he’s not with me, cause i only like long dark dong!!

  36. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that is one hell of an ugly ass!!

  37. Kim Kardashian Mystery Man LAX
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    MooooOOOOOOooooOOOOOooooOOOO

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