Kim Kardashian Paid A ‘Mystery Man’ To Walk With Her So People Will Ask ‘Who’s Kim’s Mystery Man?’

Posted in response to every headline today that reads or will read “OMG! Who’s Kim Kardashian New Mystery Man?” or “Five Things You Didn’t Know About Kim Kardashian’s New Man!” which will conveniently leave off “has an abnormally sized bladder.”

And what’s this? Renowned Stephen Hawking has something to add? My, what an unprecedented turn of events:

(I swear we’re trying to stop. But not really.)

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Splash News