Someone’s Leaking New Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Footage

According to an old internet urban legend, somewhere there exists a deleted scene from Kim Kardashian’s sex tape where she gets Donald Trump’s favorite Russian treat. And thanks to the President of the United States making golden showers a trending topic, I can’t imagine who might be leaking new sex tape footage from Kim K Superstar and then telling reps to give a response to the largest online publication in the world about it.

Kim Kardashian is denying that she has filmed a new sex tape.
Rumors of an explicit video starring the reality TV fave were reported by Britain’s Mirror newspaper on Tuesday.
But Kim’s rep told DailyMail.com: ‘It’s not new – it’s the same old tape.’

Page Six reports the footage is actually “part two” of the original sex tape, which is conveniently finding its way online during a time when Beyonce’s pregnant with twins and no one gives a shit about Kim Kardashian anymore. So again, I can’t imagine who’d do such a thing, except I can and it’s Kris Jenner. I’m specifically talking about Kris Jenner. But don’t say her name again, or she’ll appear in a cloud of smoke and won’t stop playing a fiddle. Haha, we get it, “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.” Fucking hilarious. You don’t have to play it for ten goddamn hours. Jesus Christ.

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