“Ms. Mayor, you meet with the Kiwanis Club at 10:15 and then the Jaycees at 11:30. Also, Mr. West called.”
“Did he seem upset?”
“I’ll let him pee on me tonight. Now let’s go make some laws!”
Because Kim Kardashian lives in California, she naturally assumes she can just waltz in and hold a political office like she’s buying a pair of shoes. And, again, because she lives in California, the city of Glendale is naturally going to entertain that thought. The LA Times reports:
“I decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale,” Kardashian said, later clarifying that “it’s going to be in, like, five years.”
The reality star, who is currently a registered voter in the city of Los Angeles, said she would choose to run for office in Glendale “because it’s, like, Armenian town.” She said she needs to obtain residency in the city in order to run for the mayorship, adding that she and [her friend/campain manager] Keshishian are “looking into all the requirements.”
Two current Glendale city councilmen, in fact, have already thrown support behind Kardashian.
“I would support her,” Glendale City Councilman Rafi Manoukian told E! News. “I think she would make an excellent mayor.”
And City Councilman and former Mayor Ara Najarian told the Glendale News-Press that he has offered her the position of “honorary chief of staff” to give her a crash course on city matters.
While there’s some sort of commentary on the absolute horseshitness of local government in all this, let’s also be realistic and admit “Pisstown” does have a nice ring to it.
“So what are you doing this weekend?
“Oh, just taking to the kids to Pisstown.”
“Ooh, Pisstown! I hear it’s beautiful this time of year.”
“Just gorgeous. We go every year for the Piss Festival. The kids love it.”
“I beg my husband to go each year but he always says, ‘I didn’t fight in Nam to let no goddamn Sasquatch harborer turn a whole town into a urinal.’ You know how he is. So old fashioned.”
“Eh, he’ll come around.”