There Is.. Another.. Fappening

NOTE: This is not a leaked photo of Kim Kardashian. This is the shit she gives away for free.

The last time I covered The Fappening our servers broke for two weeks, so if it’s Monday morning and there’s nothing but a crater where the site once was, avenge me. Now that that out’s of the way, apparently the FBI has not caught the hacker(s) responsible for the last glut of celebrity nudes because Saturday afternoon more hacked photos started appearing on reddit and 4chan. However, they were removed almost as quickly as they were uploaded just to give you an idea just how many lawyers are involved with this thing now. Shit, the guy who hacked Scarlett Johansson got 10 years in prison, so I’m pretty sure they’re going to bomb whoever did this because we’re talking about all the rich people now. And if you think I’m joking, here’s the list so far which just added Amber Heard barely an hour ago:

Kim Kardashian (Probably the only person who found out and went “Yesssss!”)
Hayden Panettiere
Hope Solo
Vanessa Hudgens (Still loves photographing her vagina. Not that I’ve seen these or anything.)
Emily Ratajkowski (Or these and haven’t stop weeping.)
Amber Heard
Gabrielle Union
Jennifer Lawrence (Your girlfriend’s a nudist, Internet. Never let her go.)
Aubrey Plaza
Meagan Good
Sarah Hyland (Your slipping, Hansen.)
Kaley Cuoco
Rihanna
Mary-Kate Olsen (WHY?!)
Aly Michalka
AJ Michalka
Lake Bell
Kate Bosworth (These might have been Holocaust photos, so don’t quote me on that.)
Rachel Nichols
Avril Lavigne
Abigail Spencer (??)
Yvonne Strahovski
Leelee Sobieski
Jojo (Maybe)

Of course, you’re probably hoping I’ll provide a link to the leaked photos or tell you how to find them. Except if I did do that, which I’m not saying I just did, I certainly wouldn’t be doing so under the auspice of claiming they are legitimate photos of the celebrities in question, your honor. I’d also like it noted for the record that my butthole is best be described as “luxurious,” and my thin, almost woman-like physique would be goddamn candy in prison. “Twizzler,” they’d call me. “Fruity Twizzler.” Oh, God, I can already feel their hands…

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