Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Banged For The Cover Of A Magazine Because They’re So Private

February 26th, 2013 // 34 Comments
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Here’s Kim Kardashian demonstrating her new-found love of privacy by getting plowed by Kanye West on the cover of French magazine L’Officiel Hommes because this’ll really make people forget she’s only famous for filming a sex tape with a famous black musician. A sex tape that almost died in a fire over the weekend if it wasn’t for Kris Jenner absolutely sucking at arson. TMZ reports:

The master — think of it as the Mona Lisa of sex tapes — was secured in a safe inside Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch’s office. When the blaze erupted Saturday night … Hirsch was miles away at an L.A. Clippers game.
Hirsch got the 911 call and bailed immediately, because the safe not only contains Kim’s tape but every unedited master of every celebrity sex tape in Vivid’s stable, including the ones starring Kendra Wilkinson, Pam and Tommy Lee, Jimi Hendrix, Vince Neil, Tom Sizemore, and Chyna.

Legend has it the unedited master contains the infamous golden shower scene between Kim and Ray J that she negotiated to keep out of the Vivid release, so the authorities would do well to look for who stands to gain the most here. Which is obviously Jimi Hendrix who can’t fucking believe he’s in the same safe as Chyna. “Motherfucker, that’s a man!” *shoots flames out of his ghost guitar*

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. FattyFatty2X4

    Funny thing is, she only eats white meat at Thanksgiving.

  2. without the Bubba underbite pictured, I’m not convinced that’s Kanye.

  3. I would watch and fap to Chyna’s sex tape a million times before I ever watch Kartrashian’s piece of shit “sex tape” ever again. Hell, I’ll even watch Paris Hilton’s tape over hers.

  4. Kim K's unborn piglet

    With the deal my host secured with my real father, Lucifer, to carry his seed to term, I will soon be screezed from the yeast-caked prison! Then I will take my place as the ruler of the earth. Fear me humans, or the shrieks from my hell-mouth will cast you into flames. I AM COMING!

  5. So the “Ray J + Famous musician” Google alert that Ray J set up is finally paying off today. Hope he gets good cell reception in the Jack-in-the-Box break room so he can enjoy it.

  6. cc

    Until these people came along, I didn’t realize quite how much I could despise people I never met.

  7. You are really trying hard to get people to stop coming to this site, aren’t you?

  8. grobpilot

    Hair’s looking a little pee-drippy.

  9. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Nude L'Officiel Hommes Hi-Res Cover
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whats your name again? Kanye? Yeah, okay. There’s another 5 guys after you, so make it quick.”

  10. I’m not sure I buy Steve Hirsch’s story. “I was at an L.A. Clippers game when the fire broke out”? That’s a pretty unconfirmable alibi right there.

  11. Just this once

    Hello Mom and Dad. This is your unborn child thanking you in advance for the nestegg of shame you created to ensure my crappy life of mockery and bully beatings.

  12. In that picture, she looks kind of like Janet Jackson, despite having less talent than LaToya Jackson.

  13. Inner Retard

    - That’s it, Kanye. Talk dirty to me!
    - Oprah wants another interview.
    - Ahhhhh, don’t stop!
    - We’ll send our kid to a boarding school.
    - I’m cumming! I’m cumming! MoooOOOOOO!

  14. dert

    I wish somebody would throws acid on their ugly mugs!

  15. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag

    kim kuntrashian and the rest of the kuntrashian klan are nothing but talentless fame whores with absolutely no redeeming values whatsoever.

  16. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Nude L'Officiel Hommes Hi-Res Cover
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s it, put me against the wall, just like a urinal. Pound my urinal cake! Pound it!”

  17. Is there anyone else who finds this fat-assed bitch totally disgusting?

  18. Actually I sort of like this picture. I can’t see his face and I can’t see her ass.

  19. Cock Dr

    She has the best orgasms when the cameras are on her.
    If only I could forget who these people are and what they’re all about I would think that this was a lovely photo fit for a romance novel cover.
    MOO

  20. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Nude L'Officiel Hommes Hi-Res Cover
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t figure out which is more implausible, a) that this a real relationship and not a phony publicity stunt, or b) that Kanye has the physical strength to lift up her gigantic ass.

  21. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Nude L'Officiel Hommes Hi-Res Cover
    Lissa
    Commented on this photo:

    Think I’ve seen this exact pose before by her-Ray J comes to mind.

  22. ButchL

    Haha. No one believes that Kanye bangs Kim looking at her face. Nice try.

  23. Kanye "George Bush hates black people" West

    “the unedited master contains the infamous golden shower scene between Kim and Ray J”

    Hey…at least you get to see the version where Kim sucks her own shit of Ray J’s dick after he’s plowed her asshole.

    …what mo’ you want?

  24. mavis davis

    This is far beyond double-stuffed.

  25. mike

    Only Entertainment News hosts are shocked when KimK or Lilo lie; the rest of us know what they say is pure crap

  26. Poor Excuse

    I thought Kanye did not like the ” girl – hole ” option

  27. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Nude L'Officiel Hommes Hi-Res Cover
    Richie
    Commented on this photo:

    sickning.

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