I Think The Paparazzi Know You Have Breasts, Kim Kardashian, And Other News

May 21st, 2012 // 50 Comments

- Kate Upton gifs make all the other girls jealous. [theCHIVE]

- Holy fuck, marketers of The Amazing Spider-Man? WHY? [Lainey Gossip]

- An honest trailer for Transformers. [BuzzFeed]

- NBC handled firing Community showrunner Dan Harmon just a little bit better than they did Conan if better means they just didn’t even bother calling him. [Dlisted]

- Apparently this weekend was the weekend where America finally stood up to studios making shitty movies out of board games only to probably go, “But we’ll still take a look at this third Men in Black business because it’s hot outside.” (Also, Brooklyn Decker gif.) [FilmDrunk]

- Xenia Deli is basically a hotter Irina Shayk. [Popoholic]

- If James Bond doesn’t bang a cloud in this one, I’m done with this franchise. [TooFab]

- Jessica Alba is red hot. Because she’s in a red dress. And hot. There are multiple layers at work here is what I’m getting at. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Carmen Electra is still hot and doesn’t require puns. [Celebslam]

- Rihanna poses topless for Esquire. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Apparently hacking Selena Gomez‘s Facebook will get you a year in jail. [Starpulse]

- The 100 Hottest Sports Babes from Movies and TV and you’re goddamn right they started that shit with Minka Kelly. [Bleacher Report]

- Gerard Butler comes up with a clever excuse for never leaving a boat full of cocaine during Cannes. [HuffPost Entertainment]

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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. GetOverYourself

    I wonder if she got kanye to suck her dick yet? What am I saying, it’s Kanye. Of course she did.

  2. Cock Dr

    Swollen udders, whether natural or man made, all have their moments of awkwardness and intractability.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      Cattle actually like to be milked to relieve the pressure in their swollen udders. True story. there are robotic milking devices with laser guided teat suckers and cows will walk their asses right in there to get their fix without any human interaction.

      • Those are awesome. The messages on the display are hilarious:
        “Seeking teats”
        “Teats located”
        “Cleaning teats”
        “Applying suction”

  3. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    GORGEOUS WOMAN….. WHO’S BIT OF A HO. But hey, aren’t we all?

    • Preach, WTF! So sick of these little cunts who deny that she’s hot. I won’t watch her show in a million years, and yeah her rise to fame was shady; but you guys’ attitude towards her just shows how jealous you are that she’s fucking rich for nothing. But hey, it’s probably the same trolls who go around calling Ian Somerhalder ugly and douche. I’m a dude, but I can admit that the man is what woman consider “a total hottie.” Lesson to be learned: “Do not fear greatness.” But in y’all’s case, “Do not be obsessively jealous of wealth and beauty that you go trolling, it’s sad and pathetic.”

      • rip

        drake ltc!

      • rip

        I particlarly love her cottage cheese in a garbage bag ass and her troweled on make up you cunt!

      • The way in which you phrased your comment makes me think you’re not particularly smart. I’d even be willing to bet that you’re not even remotely attractive. You’re probably middle class. You’re not a nice person, or else you wouldn’t talk about people you don’t know. So my question is: who the fuck are you to talk? I’d take the woman who rose to fame after endurig public humiliation, anytime of any day rather than a lonely troll such as yourself. Go make some friends, buddy, and stop fapping in secret to women you supposedly hate. Meet a nice girl, it’ll do you good. Bottom line: get a fucking life and realize that the woman your dissing is happy as fuck. What are you?

      • name

        When people, like Kim, live their lives in the public eye they can expect public judgement, it comes with the territory and the money they make off of us. Kim puts herself in the spotlight, not everyone will agree with her morally, this doesnt always not mean they are jealous, disgusted may be a better word. And no, not everyone thinks shes attractive, for some it is hard to look past the tons of makeup and spoiled attitude

      • Cock Dr

        Whether this vapid, plastic, money hungry whore is happy or not isn’t this site’s concern. We will continue to trash her for her lies & media tricks whever she’s posted.
        Have you noticed that just about every Kardashian endorsed product/service turns out to be a complete fraud? Shoes, credit cards, weight loss pills & potions….MARRIAGE…it’s ALL fake.
        Except that sex tape….that apparently was the real deal.

      • I guarantee you that this cow is not happy. If she was she wouldn’t need to have attention 24/7.

      • You’re dedication to your “cause” is adorable. But let’s get real; all of her endorsements ARE indeed complete rip offs. But who gets ripped off? Her worshipping little fangirls. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily, it’s business not charity. Vitamin Water is supposed to be healthy, but it’s not. Voss is supposed to come from Norway, but it’s normal tapwater. So why exactly are you holding a grudge against Kardashian, for doing what all smart businessmen would do? And you have a problem with her sex tape? Because when you look up sex tape, it writes that Kardashian invented this? No, see a ton of woman have tried it, and have done freaky shit for their boyfriend, don’t delude yourself into thinking girls love giving blow-jobs. So by your standard of judging all women are like Kardashian. This is our culture, you can either deal with it or “GTFO”. And by the way, I think you guys are all hating on her as a trend. A bandwagon. You’re all followers.

      • Jack Ketch

        “You’re” dedication ??? Good one, DrakeW, lol. NOT.

      • tits mcgee

        “don’t delude yourself into thinking girls love giving blow-jobs”

        well, this isn’t true. guys think all cocks are made equal. there’s a vast difference between sucking a hot dude’s dick and yours.

      • Prince Albert

        @ Drake: Psychotic much?

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Have you seen that commercial where she lies on a bed eating takeout? She opens her fat fake lips and tries to look like a human being taking a bite. I swear, that image will have you driving the porcelain bus more effectively than jamming your fingers down your throat. Not hot.
        And also, Somerhalder? Ew. I prefer my men not to have demented eyes all the time.

      • Jack Ketch I congratulate on your ability to spot grammar errors, though your “ability” needs polishing, I made a ton of typos and that’s the one you spot? Good one, NOT.

        Tits Mcgee, nice comeback. That’s what I would’ve said if your comment wasn’t both lame and untrue. We have tell-all policy at my college, and I know tons of “hot dudes” whose girlfriends need hours of coercion till they consider doing the deed.

        And as for CranAppleSnapple. I don’t even know what to say to you. I take it you’re a girl. That commercial is actually hot if it wasn’t for her annoying voice. So yes, hot. And I’m not here to advocate for Somerhalder….. Though I would bet my left ball that you would jump on it, if given the opportunity . You’re comment just seems to hostile to be a girl who genuinely doesn’t like him. More like someone in denial about a little crush, hmm? Or maybe you’re just a hipster who doesn’t want to crush on the same guy as your buddies.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Yikes. You’re very sad, Drake. There’s clearly something wrong with you, because you get very upset when disagreed with.
        You sound teenaged, so by now your mommy should certainly have taught you that everyone feels differently about lots of things. Everywhere you look, different opinions.
        To me, Kim.K is squelchy and dripping in grease paint. I don’t like her looks, and she’s vapid and a total bitch.
        Somerhalder is not my type. You clearly want to bang him, do go right ahead. I prefer more masculine guys over pretty and plastic ones.
        It shouldn’t bother you at all if people feel differently from you. Their feelings don’t erase yours. Poor baby.

      • tits mcgee

        Dude, you picked your screen name after a shitty rapper, and you think Ian Somerhalder is hot. Clearly you are an arbiter of taste. There’s a simple explanation for everything: you and your friends are trolls, thus girls don’t want to blow you. Ipso facto potato.

      • CranAppleSnapple, YES I am the sad one. I am the one who hates on people on the lone fact that they are richer and more attractive than I’ll ever be. Wait. That sounds more like you. But I must say, I think it’s pretty cool that you know her. Because I am sure a lovely troll such as yourself wouldn’t call her “a total bitch” without knowing her on personal basis. And I have a very important lesson to teach you: just because somebody is more attractive than yourself doesn’t mean that they are plastic. You could only use that line in high school when the boys picked the prettier girl over you. I guess it’s true that some people never really leave high school. I bet you’re an avid Glee fan.

        Tits mcgee, Really? Seriously? How dumb are you and what cave were you born in? I hope you do realize that Drake is a common name. Not everybody listens to “shitty rappers” in hiding, thus constantly thinks about them sexually and automatically conjures them when hearing a quite common and overused name. And at which point did I say that I find Somerhalder hot? If your brain cannot decode sentences than I’ll forgive you. You did name yourself “Tits” after all. I bet you’ve never even seen a pair in real life. Do you even know what a blow job is? You’re giving me the vibe of a (A) virgin who talks dirty to seem cool or (B) a girl pretending to be a boy. Make your choice, buddy.

      • Mike Walker

        Sure she has a pretty face, but her fame-whoring, money grubbing familial culture, lack of personality and lumpy rhinocerous ass all kill the attraction. What’s sad are the people who would waste their time watching her worthless, boring ass life on a tv show. Even sadder are overearnest dweebs defending her on gossip blogs.

  4. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    On their way to audition for Rain Man II.

  5. Jack Ketch

    MOO, a big, orange MOO.

  6. The Selena Link goes to the Carmen story!

  7. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    For being in love they sure don’t look happy together.

  8. Outspoken

    She has the best boobs ever!!!!

  9. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    “DAMN! I hate when my ass spills around to the FRONT!”

    • Viktor

      Right on Right on Question4seller but dont for get to comment that those stipud black guys take all our women with those huge giant black snake moan DIC*s! Man it just my white off just thinking about that.

  10. since Fish is back to shoving this whore at us all...


    I am 31 years old, but act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess. Instead I became an anal porn star, but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, hair, facelift etc., were are all bought from a plastic surgeon. I use to idolized Paris Hilton and I would hang on her like a koala bear all the time just to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. I was very jealous of Paris, so I put out a SEX TAPE just because she did. Until 2007 I use to do cocaine with her. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.

    My pimp mother, Kris Jenner (who in some ways is a bigger whore than me), fcuked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. Dad was an ambulance chaser, and helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole by hiding much of the blood evidence from the police. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake. I have no personality at all!

    Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Steve Hirsch at Vivid Entertainment. They paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. RayJ had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porno with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows exactly what happened. I screwed him over and refused to pay him after our contract was up. Money and fame is all I live for. I am just waiting for him (and many, many more) to come out and reveal how I really am. I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack elegance, class, dignity, self-respect, intelligence, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman, both inside and out.

    My ex husband Damon Thomas, whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas, publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber, and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. If you see me in public it’s either because someone is paying me to be there, or I know the paps will be there to take my picture. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all attending. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but unlike Paris I’m too cheap to buy them lunch like she does.

    I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I’m in very bad shape. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my sad performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like a tone deaf four year old with a nasal monotone voice; very unfortunate. Recently I made a video to go with the song. In it I shove my HUGE azz into the camera like a baboon in heat waiting to get mounted.

    Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous. We, the Kardashian’s, call each other dolls. And I alone have tainted the Pussycat Dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. If I’m at a charity event you can bet I’m either getting paid to be there, or I’m there because I called the paps and want to get my picture taken. If you read the fine print you’ll see I keep 90% of the proceeds from my charity auction. The only person I really care about is myself. I tried to fcuk over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. Unfortunately it was taken off the market after one week under the threat of legal action in several States. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids, with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.

    I stole $120k from Sonja Norwood’s (Ray J and Brandy’s mother) credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. Neither my sisters nor I know how to sew on a button or sketch anything, but we call ourselves fashion designers. Much of our clothing line is made by underage Chinese children. I pay them a dollar a day to work an 18-hour shift in one of my sweatshops. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip-off from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.

    For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M. I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me any further shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.

    I have never been single because I am too scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sit on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say. I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Bow Wow, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and my husband of 72 days Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fcuked me, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash, and that I will bring their reputations down into the gutter with mine. I will fcuk anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.

    I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!

    I am Kim Kardashian…

    • Cock Dr

      This is quite wordy, but the passion & dedication of your contempt is to be admired.

    • The Evil Twin

      I didn’t bother to read all because frankly it’s too fuckin’ long but I get your general sentiment after two paragraphs. But you are wrong in one thing, her soul is not fake. You have to have a soul first to be fake.

    • dave in denver

      I love that rant, can’t help but LOL. Well worth the read folks.

      I guess you missed the memo from last month, but the reason fish keeps foisting this pee whore on us is because Fish works for the same company that manages the day-to-day operations of ALL the Kardashian’s web-sites (Buzz Media). It’s what’s known in marketing as cross-promotion.

      • The Evil Twin

        Considering the drop in sarcastic wit quality lately I’d venture to guess Fish has either been reined in, burned out or this is not the same Fish we’ve come to know.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      Can you put Richard McBeef in there next time? I think I fit best between Fabolous and The Game. Definitely before Nick Cannon.

    • Kris H.

      *can you insert NARCISSIST in there
      Otherwise thanks for speaking the truth.

  11. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, you can actually see how empty a shell she is in this picture. Good for her for being “real”.

    • hollyhood

      ^ this. it’s almost as if she realized, if only for a split second, how terrible a human being she is – famous for being used as a toilet and having a rich daddy, then using a sham-wedding to scam photo-op money.

  12. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    just say'n
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he smells the rancid pee wafting from her hair.

  13. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    the cure
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you like fish sticks? You’re a gay fish!

  14. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    her face is actually starting to scare me now…

  15. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    Kanye West never looks happy, even with a Kim K. What is up with that?

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