Seen here proving she does shop in the maternity section, Khloe Kardashian is allegedly the result of an affair between Kris Jenner and another man thus making Khloe not a real Kardashian like everyone with a set of eyes always suspected. (For those of you keeping score at home, that’s two theories confirmed in two sentences. BOOMSHAKALAKA.) Then again, the source of this information is Scott Disick, the controversial boyfriend of Kourtney Kardashian and noted sweater-around-the-neck wearer which makes his credibility suspect because you can’t trust those people outside of conversations involving yachts. InTouch Weekly reports:
Fed up with the Kardashian clan — especially Kris — Scott has been mulling a lucrative offer to write a scathing tell-all about the family. “He has vowed not to sell out Kourtney personally, but he doesn’t mind talking about the rest of the family,” the insider shares, adding that these days, “he really can’t stand to be in the same room with Kris.” Desperate to be free of Kourtney’s mom’s “controlling” ways but eager to stay in the limelight, Scott is thinking that writing a tell-all could solve all of his problems. “He wants to break away from the Kardashian brand and do his own thing,” the insider explains.
Despite all those things I said before for comedic effect, I’m actually on board with this accusation. (Also, I think I found the father here.) I mean, c’mon, just look at this promo shot for the Kardashian’s swimwear line. Even after 85 tons of airbrushing, they still shoved Khloe as far to the left as possible so people would stop thinking it’s an ad for wrestling. “So, are those chicks like the big dude’s groupies? Or do they just set up tables and shit for him to fall into? I’m confused, but mostly want to have sex with the little one if we’re strictly talking dominant themes here.”
Photos: Splash News
meat | September 8, 2010 at 12:06 pm
First bitches.
More like Kris Jenner had an affair with a horse
meat | September 8, 2010 at 12:08 pm
9 out of 10 women in that Clan prefer horse cock. Its a proven fact.
Jimbo | September 8, 2010 at 1:19 pm
It wasn’t a horse, it was a Yetty she boned…
Randal(l) | September 8, 2010 at 1:37 pm
You couldn’t possibly be any more wrong, She is clearly the offspring of the Cthulhu
Drew | September 8, 2010 at 2:40 pm
You dare insult the Great Old One of extreme horror to Khlo…. oh I see where you’re going with this. Well played Randal.
Jimbo | September 8, 2010 at 1:44 pm
No Randal, That is your mother…
Randal(l) | September 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm
No Jimbo, That is your face…
zoeygirl | September 8, 2010 at 4:52 pm
We care about this why??? Oh my God, can these wanna be celebs please go away, please? They have no talent and don’t even really look great. All of these kardashian and snookis and useless, talentless hoes need to go back to the club they came from. Glorified strippers who don’t even look as good as real strippers.
matt | September 8, 2010 at 7:45 pm
kris jenner got a time machine that went back to a long time ago and a galaxy far far away and got pumped full of chewbacca’s semen demons
For Limp Dick Matt | January 8, 2011 at 5:54 am
Your mother probably got screwed by Chewbacca you moron. Get a life. Why do people constantly bash this girl? becasue she is bigger in size than her sisters? Why does looks matter so much? What about the character of a person? Your priorities are so messed up. You are prpbably a pimply faced wanna be actor who is looking for attention. Go drink Lanate you loser !!!!!!!!!!!!
Annoyed | November 12, 2011 at 4:52 pm
@For Limp Dick Matt AMEN! I’m so sick of people bashing on Khloe for being bigger than her sisters. First of all, unlike her two midget sisters she’s like 5’9 so obviously her frame is going to be bigger (unless you’re an anorexic runway model). Give her a fckin break. She’s a gorgeous woman who’s probably a thousand times more beautiful than these catty b!tches posting on here combined. STOP DRINKING THE HATERAID!
Lauren | November 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm
get a life matt and she may not be gorgeous but she’s more real than her whole family put together.
Fumus | September 8, 2010 at 12:06 pm
frrrisstt
jay | September 8, 2010 at 12:15 pm
this bunch has brought WAY too much attention to themselves for this not to come out. I wish they would ALL go away.
CJ | September 20, 2010 at 1:34 pm
If you stop reading about and commenting on them, they might…!
Vito | September 8, 2010 at 12:19 pm
I don’t really give a shit if Kris Jenner fucked some other guy a quarter of a century ago. And personally, I have alway thought Khloe to be very attractive. In fact, all of the Kardashian girls are physically beautiful.
However, having never met or chatted with them, I can only surmise via public opinion that they must be incredibly arrogant, self-centered pains in the ass.
Bunny | September 8, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Vito, I think all three of the girls are gorgeous too. Any dude here would dump whatever wife/girlfriend/gaybuddy to get the chance to tag Khloe. It gets remotely tiresome to hear otherwise.
It had to be said | September 8, 2010 at 1:49 pm
That’s hilarious. Khloe is not, repeat, not beautiful. I would not dump a load of poop to tag Khloe. The other two . . . that’s a different conversation.
R T | September 8, 2010 at 4:59 pm
hahahah with makeup she looks horrible..without she looks like rosie o donald and a fat pig Fed
Jillia | January 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm
As much as I despise them, I agree, they’re not a bad looking bunch. Kim is only hotter than Kourtney because Kourtney sometimes has that monkey face going on. Kloe is not bad looking at all, but yes, next to her tiny hot sisters, she looks worse than she is. She’s probably a good 8-9 inches taller than them, so naturally she has a bigger build.
I guess I kind of feel for her because I myself am 5’8″ (140 lbs.) and alot of my good friends happen to be 5’2″ and under. I like the way I look, don’t get me wrong, but it’s hard not to feel a little oafy around the midgets sometimes.
amy | September 8, 2010 at 12:19 pm
Big Mixx is the FATHER!!!!! Priceless.
hmna | September 8, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Bigg Mixx FTW!
Natalie | September 8, 2010 at 12:22 pm
That makes sense. Khloe was blonde as a kid. She dyes her hair dark. What kind of Armenian has blonde hair?
Portinari | November 11, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Really? Because a close friend of mine has three Armenian grandparents and her hair is red and curly.
Also blondes usually darken with age.
Rena | September 8, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Did Scott really say that? Because he doesn’t allude to it in the paragraph you snipped? I wonder if this is just more BS designed to push their products like Perfect Skin.
j.noel | September 8, 2010 at 12:27 pm
The real question is: does she now, or has she ever had a penis? Seriously, it would appear that she’s one lip waxing away from Tom Selleck. No offense to Mr. Selleck.
havoc | September 8, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Who hasn’t fucked a Yeti on Spring Break?
Kris likes the Jagermeister……..
.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 8, 2010 at 12:35 pm
darth vader is her faaatherr…. except..didnt kong already take a dna test in the first or 2nd season to establish her parents, or was that only maternal/mitocondrial dna
Willy Wonka | September 8, 2010 at 12:37 pm
*tuning….*
One of these things is not like the other…
One of these things just isn’t the same!
captain crunch | September 8, 2010 at 12:38 pm
but who gives a shit…
they are irrelevant & not very attractive nor talented in any way; why the fuck this whole group keeps getting attention & coverage?
CJ | September 20, 2010 at 1:32 pm
And yet you read and responded to the article. They get attention because people read about and watch them! Supply and demand. Simple as that.
Racer X | September 8, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Superficial staff writer, English motherfucker! Do you speak it?
hmmmm | September 8, 2010 at 1:10 pm
That should probably be a colon instead of a comma.
Doc Schweinstrudel | September 8, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Fish reports straight from the UFC (ugly fat clueless) contension.
dude | September 8, 2010 at 12:45 pm
that there is a got dam succubus
Doc Schweinstrudel | September 8, 2010 at 12:45 pm
convention*
dude | September 8, 2010 at 12:46 pm
Fail Whale!
fap | September 8, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Err, that just looks like some fat chick with too much makeup on. Oh wait, it IS just some fat chick with too much makeup on.
L | September 8, 2010 at 12:48 pm
She had an affair with Chewbaka. It all makes sense now.
dude | September 8, 2010 at 12:54 pm
HaHa! She’s a Wookie fucker! Kim probably let Chewie urinate all over her when he was done with Khloe. Then Jabba the Hut got a turn with all of them (after he told them he was all pro quarterback on Tattooine).
Bunny | September 8, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Fucking hilarious!
girl who likes it in da butt | September 8, 2010 at 12:51 pm
big mixx lol!
McFeely Smackup | September 8, 2010 at 12:58 pm
that chick behind her has a utility belt pulled WAY up under her boobs. WTF?
fap | September 8, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Probably carrying the emergency ampoules of elephant tranquilliser needed to take this beast down should it turn on the other handlers.
Bruce Jenner | September 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I’m surprised this “gold digging fame-whore” (kris) didn’t make a sex tape to sell w/the big foot she fucked to produce the beast known as khloe. orrr maybe she did but everyone thought it was another hoax…thats where kim musta got the idea….
family of pigs..they must be proud…
girl who likes it in da butt | September 8, 2010 at 1:03 pm
probably why the husband divorced her.
Bunny | September 8, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Bullshit.
In Touch Weekly is known to have the worst accuracy in the business. She looks a ton like the late Kardashian, even more so that the other girls. Funny writing but zero fucking truth Fish.
CJ | September 20, 2010 at 1:30 pm
You need glasses
frisbeeken | September 8, 2010 at 1:09 pm
It must suck to be the guy that got stuck with the fat sister !! Here you are, sitting a matter of inches of away from the two hot sisters and all you have to grab onto that night is a set of rolls. I’d get the other two drink, bang the shit out of them and use that as my way out of the relationship. It’s called going out in style….
It had to be said | September 8, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Dumbass. Lamar Odom is stuck with the fat one. This is the Baby Daddy for the cute one who is not obviously a whore (a.k.a. Kourtney).
frisbeeken | September 8, 2010 at 2:27 pm
What the fuck are you talking about asshole? I wasn’t talking about Scott, I was talking this chick’s guy, not the one mentioned in the post. Read my post closer next time dumb fuck !
frisbeeken | September 8, 2010 at 1:12 pm
There’s no way you can fix that ! No matter how much makeup, designer clothes, perfume, cars, boats, houses , whatever ! There’s nothing you can do !
Jenna | September 8, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Just going on record to say that I actually think Khloe is pretty.
Amanda | September 9, 2010 at 3:59 pm
She is pretty. These people on here are probably at home sitting on their fat asses eating junk and getting off on making fun of someone who looks a million times better than they do.
splashsos | September 11, 2010 at 9:48 pm
I agree. Khloe is NOT ugly. She is a just a tall girl and b/c of that she is bigger. I’m glad all these internet nerds like to pretend that they are banging hot chicks when in reality IF they are getting laid it’s by a chick who is 300+ with a beard and a mustache. And belly, tit, and back fat cheese. They wouldn’t have a chance w/ Khloe with their 4 angry inches.
josh | September 8, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Ho my god, what an ugly cow :-(
For Josh | January 8, 2011 at 5:59 am
I bet your mother is probably an ugly cow that bread with a horse and produced you a “corse” LOL. Get a life and stop bashing others
Fishstix | September 8, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Logically I want to say, “She looks like Robert Kardashian had an affair with his mother and she bore him this child. How can she not be his?”, but the part of me that hates the Kardashians wants to point and laugh at her and say that she doesn’t know who her daddy is.
Melissa | September 8, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Look, everyone knows that Khloe shares the same father as her brother Chyna, and they may or may not be the same person.
http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2009/3/7/22/are-khloe-kardashian-and-chyna-the-same-9890-1236484368-31.jpg
Fishstix | September 8, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Maybe Chyna’s Khloe’s father?
Just throwin’ that out there
PixelPing | September 8, 2010 at 6:10 pm
I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again.
Kris Jenner is a dirty little whore, anyone who lives in L.A. knows the rumors.
This chick makes Danielle Staub look like a nun.
Bruce Jenner is such a naive asswipe, his wife has probably slept with 10 other men since they got married.
Jesse | September 8, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Kendall jenner is growing up to look just like Khloe, I think Kris had an affair with Bruce in Nov ’83 months before his divorce from Linda Thompson in ’84
Racer X | September 8, 2010 at 9:35 pm
THIS.
Mancuso | September 8, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Not one of “them”? Hell, IT isn’t even one of us!
XYZ | September 9, 2010 at 5:20 am
Irrelevant indeed but she looks like shes the sister/daughter of the hermaphrodite wrestler CHYNA (JOAN MARIE LAURER).
captain america | September 9, 2010 at 7:20 am
yep, that’s why: GET LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!
socialcomment | September 9, 2010 at 10:50 am
If you look at Kris Jenner though, she’s a big woman. Khloe is what? Like 5’10″ and her mother seems to be at least as tall. Her and Kris also have a very similar body type. I don’t know how tall Robert Kardashian was, but if he was a short guy, it makes a whole lot of sense. Genetics are funny like that.
Amanda | September 9, 2010 at 3:55 pm
You people are just jealous. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world but she is definitely not ugly or fat. Everyone on here is a hater because she got rich from doing nothing.
CJ | September 20, 2010 at 1:26 pm
In the words of the immortal Joan Rivers,
Oh grow up!
Bored with life | September 9, 2010 at 6:50 pm
The sad thing is Kloe’s ass is still much smaller than that fat pig Kim.
Monkey Boy | September 9, 2010 at 7:20 pm
her real father was a guy Kris had an affair with – inside knowledge.
ozpunk | September 10, 2010 at 9:10 pm
KLOE has the same mum but I’d say Plastic Michael Jackson Olympic Mr Jenner IS definately the dad, I say in early years Kris had an affair with him but never let on and fell pregnant to him but pretending Mr R.I.P armanian was the father.
Also to mention has anyone ever noticed how much Mr & Mrs Jenners girls look just like Khloe. You know the two girls the younger ones, Kylie & Kendall look spittin image of Khloe the ugly bush pig from the amazon jungle.
GREGORY JUNIOR YVES | September 11, 2010 at 7:40 pm
sei bellissima . haiti like you
texangirl64 | September 12, 2010 at 4:43 pm
It’s is very obvious she is not a Kardashian.. I have always thought Bruce is her real Father who I think Kris had an affair with and then went back with Robert Kardashian and then concieved Rob Jr. until they Divorced.
Notice how Bruce states Khloe and him have always had a close relationship and Khloe and her younger sisters look just alike. Khloe in no way looks Armenian and looks nothing like Kourtney and Kim. She for sure is a product of another man.
louis | September 13, 2010 at 4:28 am
OMG,====my discount bag====Google to see LV 2010 ,CHANE1 2010,GUCC1 2010 ************
CJ | September 20, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Scott is a useless, childish, full of himself tool and Kourtney is a fool to take his abuse, let alone expose her child to it. But the fact remains that Khloe ain’t no Kardashian. She resembles her mother, but looks NOTHING like the man who fathered her two “sisters”. I think she knows she’s illegitimate and that that is the basis for the gigantic attitude and chip she always carries on her shoulder.
say_what | May 15, 2011 at 9:17 pm
Khloe is a gorgeous fair haired green eyed amazon, perfect breeding female to get nice hunky gladiators…. you don’ t get large men from tiny little women and since my interest is in breeding pairs , Khloe is perfect female !
It is also quite obvious that she is not related to the Kardashian kids, her mother jumped the fence and then came back later on to have the brother Rob…. this is simple logic and it’s rather sad that lies perpetuate for decades and turn into oozing pools of puss if not aired out for truth to blossom.
Nothing wrong with fooling around and having a love child, something wrong when a lie is born into a monster
Kerri | July 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm
That’s ridiculous! If you look at Rob and Khloe they are so similar to each other and Rob is the spitting image of his father – I think that these two are 100% Robert Kardashian’s. Kim and Kourtney do not look anything like Robert an instead look a lot like Kris Jenner.
Kerri | July 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm
oh and PS Khloe is a gorgeous woman!!!
orangekitty | November 11, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Will all the Kardashians please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away, please go away,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
k | November 11, 2011 at 10:34 pm
i never understood the gigantic height differences.
ZJ Cross | January 16, 2012 at 6:06 pm
I dunno – Khloe looks like bro Rob, right?
If not, Kris J should confess her sin. It will come out eventually.